[jauneoiseau]

I'm currently 13 weeks pregnant and I'm feeling very depressed. I know this is considered "normal", what with all the hormones etc. I just wanted to share how I'm feeling I guess.

I have a bit of support from my family. The baby's father is very ambivalent about it all. I can't change that.

I don't want to wallow in self pity or "play the victim" as I know that's not really productive and I am accountable for the way I feel and handle things. I just feeling like crying and having permission to just feel like cr*p about my pear shaped situation. I think of this little baby which I saw on ultrasound yesterday and I just feel so vulnerable and alone in all of this. I know I need to build more of a network of supportive friends etc. Really Im just having a vent I guess. It helps to let it out.

Thank you

[Raynaadi]

I hope you feel better soon. I haven't been pregnant so I can't relate, but we do have some currently pregnant women who might be able to relate.

I'm glad you've found us here; its so night to have constant company online!

Hi Jaune,

Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I am currently twenty weeks in as of this coming monday, and boy I feel for you because emotionally I am all over the place.

I suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Panic Disorder, and Borderline Personality Disorder and was on meds before I got pregnant, so I am not entirely sure if it is the fact that I am unmedicated right now or the pregnant hormones, but it certainly is possible that the reason you are feeling depressed right now is the pregnancy hormones and changes your body has been going through.

Think about puberty, which throws emotions all over the place too - a time when alot of hormones are fluctuating and can change on a whim. Pregnancy does that too in that your hormones can be all over the place for a little while.

I've been struggling with worry and anxiety, and just the past short while, a weird sort of depressed and empty feeling that seems very pervasive under everything else.

As for what you can do about it, you may want to ask your doc to refer you to a pregnancy psychiatrist or therapist that can help you sort out what you are feeling. And keep coming here and letting us support you!

[LMo]

((( jaune )))

Congratulations about your pregnancy. I'm two weeks ahead of you. I don't know what to say about your sad feelings - for me, the experience has been the opposite - pregnancy has grounded me in a way I've never known before. But it's a lot to process and your baby is a blessing; I hope you can feel that. I'm really sorry that the baby's father isn't more involved - hopefully after you really start showing and he can feel the baby kicking, maybe he'll be able to better relate to the position he's in.

Want to share your ultrasound picture?

(( jaune ))

[jauneoiseau]

Hi again, I'm sorry I've taken so long to get back. I will post a picture of the latest ultrasound once I get it onto the pc. I'll do that tomorrow at work.

I am thinking of this dear little person, . . . it's so hard to believe they're in my stomach right now. I do believe I am blessed. I fell pregnant while on the OCP so that's quite a feat in and of itself.

I know I just have to be strong and trust in those around me who really love and care about me. Also I do believe that I really need to trust in God. I also know deep down that it will all work out - because it has to!

Anyway I will put my ultrasound pic on tomorrow.

xx J

[Peacemaker]

Jaune,

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I think I can totally relate to your situation. I was told that I could never conceive and if I did, I would spontaneously abort at 5-6 months. Nevertheless, when I found out that I was pregnant, I was in shock. Instead of feeling the happiness that most every other women feel, I felt depressed, hopeless, and helpless. I went into complete denial and stayed that way during the whole pregnancy. It was literally right before my son was born that I had finally reconciled with my pregnancy. Then, right after he was born, my husband and I didn't know what to do.

Anyway, it took several months for me to bond with my baby. I didn't know it but was experiencing post partum depression and finally figured out that something was wrong with me when he turned a year old. I stayed in post partum depression for about 3 yrs. It wasn't fun. Hopefully, you won't have this experience. I went undiagnosed as I didn't show the typical symptoms.

Look forward to seeing your pic.

Feel free to PM me if you'd like.

Lots of Huggs,
Peacemaker (Sherri)