Please help........

I am at the end of my tether.....All I feel about this depression is guilt guilt guilt, I cant help it, I want to be better, I want to live anormal life....I'm miserable and lonely and feel I am a bad mother right now because of it. If I leave I am bad, If I stay I am bad. My husband says he understands, then when I tell him what I need and I'm not getting it he says he has supported me, felt invisible and gets really angry, shouting in front of the kids etc. I know it's hard for him, I told him I feel bad and he said he understands and not to feel guilty, then shoves it in my face when He's angry. The kind of support I need right now is reassurance, love, I love you's....everything I'm not getting. Yes he is doing a job he hates, I appreciate that I do....he had an interview today for a better job.

Am I being selfish? I dont know right or wrong anymore, I cant focus on anything, I' really struggling with life and I don't know what to do....

desperate, Jin

((( jinny ))) it sounds as though you're both struggling, and you're both only human. Don't feel guilty - he probably feels guilty too. It's hard on you both, but you're a team. Tell him that you are committed to the team, and ask him if he is too.

Just talk to us about your frustrations for now. You're never alone when you have us

you've been thru so much... I care... and am here for you...

(((hugs)))

Thankyou so much, it helps to know people understand...he came home from work, read a poem and an e.mail I wrote to him and he replied with lovely words, I posted them in cc. I just wanted to share really, maybe I shouldn't have thinking about it, but I asked him and he said it was ok. He has a way with words lol....

I know loves me, that's not the point here, I just want him to show it.... I'll work on him lol.

Thanks for the replies, I feel much better this morning. Love you, Jin xxxxxx

lots of hugs jinnyann. I really want for you to be happy. When I hear your words it feels like deja vu from my own life. The side of you that i have met here on PC is so sensitive and caring , beautiful and bright. I wish you all the love in the world.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((jinnyann)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Linda

I read what Tony wrote and WOW. That man really does love you. I know how hard it can be when they don't show it the way we want though.

(((((( Jinny )))))))

(((((((((Jinny)))))))))

Sorry to hear that you're struggling. Sounds like I'm going through the same thing as you. I'm married with a loving husband & two boys (6 & 8 years old). I've been struggling with depression for several years now & been going through emotional cycles.

Like you, I sometimes feel I'm a bad mother. Haven't really enjoyed my kids because of my depression. I wonder where the years went, they grow so fast yeah?! I feel guilty too. But you know what, THAT'S JUST OUR DEPRESSION TELLING US THAT WE'RE BAD MOTHERS. We're not bad mothers . . in fact, I think WE'RE THE STRONGEST MOTHERS because we have to try harder than others to make it through life because of our mental health problems. . ., we want to get better & we're trying our best. . . look at our kids, they still adore us because we're they're mommy. . . .look at our husbands, they're still here to support us & help us beat this terrible disease!

From one mother to another. . . let's get through this together okay?! Our family needs us.

Feels good to connect with someone going through the same thing as me. I'm glad I met you. Can we be friends?

Love,
Struggling1.

(((((jinny))))) i know it's hard being in a relationship when you have depression. i'm grateful to have my hubby, even though i feel so bad because of the extra work he has to do to help with the upkeep of our house. but, he's so understanding. **he tells me that he loves me - EVERYday! seriously. he never forgot. funny, huh?