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Feb 22, 2019 at 01:58 PM
#1
Hello Women Friends
I was recently reflecting on romance. I am in a relationship with a good and loving man who is not romantic (in my perception). I imagine romance means different things for different people. Or perhaps some of you don't value the concept at all? What are your thoughts? Does romance matter to you? Do you have an example of something that you found really romantic from a partner? All perspectives welcome. I am really curious what others think  For example, on Valentine's Day my significant other asked "do you want me to buy you flowers?" I love fresh flowers any time but if I have to ask for them to be purchased, there's no romance in that. So I just said no thanks, it's okay. It's funny really. He just perceives fresh flowers as a complete waste of money because they die but fresh flowers make me smile and feel special. Different brains, different perspectives!  I am not criticizing him. As I said, he's a very good man. Thoughts? |
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 Anonymous43949
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Feb 22, 2019 at 04:44 PM
#2
I LOVE getting things like fresh flowers!! Or a card for no reason, a cute stuffed animal, a collectible, a trinket. All good things to do just to say I love you. Or an afternoon snuggle session. I sometimes go get him a single rose or a card. Or hand write a note. Thoughtful gestures are wonderful things. But I dont think most men no matter how wonderful they are are wired the same way we are as far as what they see as romantic.. just my view.. I tend to go buy my own flowers. I really enjoy them, know exactly what I like and what's in season. Or just want to see what the florist has. Plus it's nice!!
 
__________________ Im not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.
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| Anonymous57363
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Feb 22, 2019 at 08:32 PM
#3
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I do actually know a few female friends who are in relationships with men who do such romantic things without prompting. So that's why I wonder if it's a mismatch between my partner and me. I don't know. Thank you again for your thoughts. I buy my own flowers too! Otherwise, I'd never have any!
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 Calypso2632
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Feb 23, 2019 at 10:12 PM
#4
I don't consider myself romantic...but I feel loved when people remember what I like because it proves that they have been thinking of me. Your partner remembered that you like fresh flowers. That proves that you are on his mind a lot.
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| Anonymous57363
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romantic rose, saidso
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Mar 01, 2019 at 10:07 AM
#5
I don't know what romance or being 'romantic' is tbh. Am not sure men have different brains overall, but I do know they likely wrestle with the expectations of hegemonic masculinity (am not a feminist but that phrase fits well here) so are caught between that and wanting to please their partner. Romance is seen as a 'woman's' thing.
When I was dating men I liked getting flowers too, but spontaneity was preferable. I think it would have been romantic to spend a night camping under the stars and cuddling up together, or spending all day and most of the evening in deep conversation about something we were both interested in, feeling relaxed enough in each others' company to fall asleep in each others' arms and see where things went from there. |
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Mar 02, 2019 at 09:33 PM
#6
I don't really know what romance means to me. Mostly it seems like a notion from films. I'll think about it further.
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smiling musical soul
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Mar 02, 2019 at 10:24 PM
#7
Getting the oil changed in my car, doing a chore I usually have to do but hate, buying me something I need/want(like right now I would like a toaster). I guess doing useful things and taking crap off my plate means romance to me.
Unfortunately hubby likes to write poetry and get me trinkets and crap like that. I always tell him it's appreciated and never let him know how disappointed I am. We just have very different love languages. I have communicated in the past what I think is romantic but he says what I like just isn't romantic 
__________________ I think I need help 'cause I'm drowning in myself. It's sinking in, I can't pretend that I ain't been through hell. I think I need help---Papa Roach |
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| Anonymous44076
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Mar 02, 2019 at 10:34 PM
#8
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Raindropvampire
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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