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Default Mar 23, 2019 at 10:38 AM
  #1
Well, I sure do. All of my life. It's still splattered all over the media.

My fiance gets away with having a "gut" and doesn't experience any real lack of confidence over it, whereas if I have a belly and some fat on my body, I feel embarrassed and want to hide it every chance I get!

And soon it will be beach weather. I am now dieting to lose 15 lbs so that I can comfortably wear my bikini again. But I now have dimples (ARGH!) on my legs, not lots, but a couple and I am deeply embarrassed to show them.

I am not obsessed with this, but I still feel the pressure to have a beautiful body, even as I get older, and I feel that men don't have the same kind of pressure, or not as bad, as us women do?

So many men walk around almost proud of their gut (if they have one), and so many women feel embarrassed and terrible about themselves if they're showing a few extra pounds.

I just hate it!

I guess what I am saying is:

I feel that we are expected to be beautiful with a sexy, thin and beautiful body, but not men so much. And women are still very much judged for their looks and their bodies, which makes me feel pressured about having a nice body and figure.

Can anyone here relate to this?

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Last edited by Have Hope; Mar 23, 2019 at 02:17 PM..
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Default Mar 23, 2019 at 05:09 PM
  #2
I guess I killed my own thread.

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Default Mar 23, 2019 at 05:16 PM
  #3
I feel all kinds of pressure to have a beautiful body because I'm a lifelong student of ballet.

But I realized long ago my cause is hopeless. The raw material just isn't there, so I must make do with what I've got.

I do make mighty attempts to keep my weight down, tho.....
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Default Mar 23, 2019 at 05:39 PM
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I feel all kinds of pressure to have a beautiful body because I'm a lifelong student of ballet.

But I realized long ago my cause is hopeless. The raw material just isn't there, so I must make do with what I've got.

I do make mighty attempts to keep my weight down, tho.....

Oh my gosh... I can SO relate to that because I used to dance for many years! My mother teaches dance too, so I grew up around dance and lots of tiny weeny little dancers bodies.

I gained a bunch of weight last winter, which sent me into a tiny bit of a depression. Not hugely, but I got a wee bit upset with myself.

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Default Mar 23, 2019 at 05:41 PM
  #5
My body is the opposite of a dancer's or a models. I have a lot of curves. I am a bit overweight now and would like to lose some. But I don't think only women have insecurities about their bodies. I have met men who also feel insecure.
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Default Mar 23, 2019 at 07:08 PM
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Absolutely.

My husband is a small wiry type who has been incredibly disciplined about working out for most of his life, and he's still working out and active, but as he's gotten on in years he has begun fretting about his "spare tire" which he feels is due to lack of muscle tone, because he stopped doing sit-ups after developing Irritable Bowel Syndrome. He's afraid if he does them he'll start cramping again, and I don't blame him.

But he's not happy about that "spare tire" at all.
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Default Mar 23, 2019 at 11:09 PM
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Thank you both! Yes I suppose I don’t realize that men go through similar?

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Default Mar 24, 2019 at 09:14 AM
  #8
In my original post, I meant to more so get at the fact that I feel pressured by society to be beautiful.

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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 01:40 PM
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Well, the pressures from society are everywhere, aren't they? Any particular thing that particularly pressures you?
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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 03:03 PM
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And women are still very much judged for their looks and their bodies, which makes me feel pressured about having a nice body and figure.

Can anyone here relate to this?
I agree. Especially when you are the heaviest among your friends or siblings. You go to the snack table and feel "watched" when you grab another cookie.
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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 03:55 PM
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Also reading magazines or online where women are constantly referred to in terms of their appearance. "She lost 100 pounds and now she looks GORGEOUS" and so on. Or criticism if they "haven't aged well".
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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 06:05 PM
  #12
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Well, the pressures from society are everywhere, aren't they? Any particular thing that particularly pressures you?
I don't know how to multi-quote on here, but I suppose it's more of a general feeling and sentiment.

I hear other men talk, and mainly what they say are "she's so hot", "wow, look at her", "what a hot body" kind of thing. So I feel pressured by men in our society to be "hot" and "sexy" according to men's standards, you know what I mean? Even my own fiance will comment and say things like "you're the best looking woman in the room" as though it matters or something. He doesn't care if I have a few extra pounds and says I look great, so I don't feel pressured by him necessarily, but just by men in general and our society that focuses so much on weight, thinness and women's looks.

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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 06:06 PM
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Also reading magazines or online where women are constantly referred to in terms of their appearance. "She lost 100 pounds and now she looks GORGEOUS" and so on. Or criticism if they "haven't aged well".
YES, exactly!!!

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Default Mar 26, 2019 at 02:30 PM
  #14
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In my original post, I meant to more so get at the fact that I feel pressured by society to be beautiful.
Yep, me too. Not just body, but face and hair as well. I don't like the feeling of make up on my skin so really the most I'll wear is mascara, and only when I'm going out. I definitely feel like I am not pretty enough when it's like every other woman around me can manage to at least make their skin look more even with make up, have that glowy look. I think that's a problem most guys don't have
I also don't wear my hair down very often (I either get too hot with it all around me in summer, or in winter when it's cold my hair is just a mess) and I'm very aware of the look that gives me
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Default Mar 26, 2019 at 02:34 PM
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Well, the pressures from society are everywhere, aren't they? Any particular thing that particularly pressures you?
magazines, media, social media, movies, tv shows, entertainment industry... sometimes the list feels endless.

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Default Mar 26, 2019 at 05:41 PM
  #16
Thank you both!

It's honestly nice to know or feel I am not alone. And I know I'm not. Many women across the globe are always concerned about their bodies and looks.

SIGH. I guess it's just something we can never escape, though I wish it weren't there.

I know I will grow old worrying about how I look.... and I want to look super attractive for my husband, even when I'm older.

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Default Mar 26, 2019 at 09:36 PM
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Totally from age 7 on I cared about my body, how others viewed it. Mom always said if only you were thin you'd be a knockout.

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Default Mar 26, 2019 at 09:49 PM
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Totally from age 7 on I cared about my body, how others viewed it. Mom always said if only you were thin you'd be a knockout.

Aw, now see that isn't very nice. I feel for you. I SO wish weight weren't an issue in our society.

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Default Mar 28, 2019 at 07:16 PM
  #19
I’ve experienced this too. It sucks..

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