I want childbirth experiences and info please!

Hi all!

Everyone probably has read that I am pregnant. 30 weeks now, and I am starting to get a bit nervous about the pain of childbirth, contractions, ect.

I'd like for the ladies with children to regail me with their tales of how things went. Specifically I am wondering:

-What did your contractions feel like? How did you know you were in labour?

-Were you very frightened?

-How much pain am I looking at here?

-Does the epidural hurt itself going in? Does it actually help?

-Is there a possibility if I spiral into an anxiety attack that they will have meds to help out?

-When the baby is actually coming out, I have heard it BURNS very badly. Is this true?

-Does the tearing that can happen hurt alot? Do the stitches hurt alot?

And, more embarassing

-What do they do about pooping and peeing while pushing? anything?

Also any random tips on how to not be afraid and get through it.

first hon relax. it sounds like you are getting really nervous about it.

contractions at first feel like your tummy is tightening then relaxing. doesn't hurt at first. as you get closer the pain increases.
they normally won't give the epi til you are at least 4cm dilated. if you have the epi you most likely won't feel burning or the stitches you might have to have.
another thing about the epi it can either hasten delivery or slow it down. I have never seen it go slower though. always have seen it speed up.

about the pooping and peeing. it happens and they are use to it. my cousin's wife actually had pinto beans the day she had her daughter lol she pooted in the drs face lol. then pooped. too funny!

(((bebop))) thanks for the information.

Yes, I am starting to get very nervous about the whole deal. It just sort of hit me the other day that I am at 30 weeks and don't have that much time left really lol. So I'm gathering my resources you might say.

Rainbowzz, I haven't had a kid so you might not want to hear what I'm gonna say lol. But I wanted to say to try and stay in the moment. Millions and millions of women give birth and they come out ok, and you will too. =) One of my best friends delivered a 9 pound baby with no meds. She screamed like a sailor but she did it. So if you're havin an epi, you'll be just fine. I have complete and total faith in you hon. You'll do wonderfully.

(((((Ray))))

Awww so sweet of you to post that! thank you for your faith in me.

Rainbowzz, you are gonna do great. Women have been doing this for years.

I've had two big babies, close to 9 pounds each, and did not have meds or epidural for either one. I guess one thing that helped me was knowing all the options and that even though I wanted to try to have the baby without meds, I could always fall back on them if the pain got to be too much.

I knew I was in labor when the contractions were really regular. For both labors, I had some bleeding the day of, called "the bloody show" and this is a good giveaway you are going into labor. I was about 6 cm dilated for both babies when I arrived at the hospital. It was indeed a lot of pain but I am glad I did not have epidurals as this can slow down labor. Women who have epidurals have a higher rate of Caesarians, especially when the epi is given too soon. So if you are going to get one, hold out until you are well into labor. So many women have epidurals that they will know when the time is right to give one. You should keep in mind that I had my first baby in the land of natural childbirth, Berkeley, California, so maybe you shouldn't listen to me!

One of the most bothersome things for me was the fetal monitor, which they wanted to strap around my belly. This puts a lot of pressure on your tummy and whereas contractions without the monitor were very tolerable for me, they became painful with the monitor on, so I wanted the monitor off my belly as much as possible. This was not a problem in Berkeley, as the nurses there were trained to listen for the heartbeat with a special fetal stethoscope, but my second was born in another state and the nurses were not so accommodating. At my doctor's direction, they made me wear the monitor for about 10-15 minutes out of every hour. Not fun, but I managed.

For baby #2, they had a jacuzzi that I went in to relax in the early stages of labor. This really helped me deal with the contractions. It was very pleasant and soothing, and they gave me a big glass of lemonade. I remember not wanting to get out but the doctor insisted so he could check me. He told me I could go back in, but that never happened as baby was too close to being born.

One thing that made my labors go from OK to much more intense and painful in seconds it seemed was when the doctor broke my water. Both times the doctor did this instead of waiting for it to happen naturally, and I think if there is one thing I would have changed about my labors, it would be to go longer into labor and let the water break naturally. I think maybe this wouldn't lead to such a huge jump in pain--I would have gotten there more gradually.

The body does funny things when you get to transition so beware. I got the shakes both times and also was sick to my stomach. The medical staff had seen it all before, though, so were reassuring.

During labor, I had "back labor" and it helped to have my husband apply pressure to my lower back with his fists. He got worn out doing this, but it really helped with the pain.

The thing I was most scared of was having an episiotomy. For baby #1, they said it looked good and I wouldn't need one, but I had trouble pushing the baby out and ended up tearing and had to have stitches. For baby #2, I did not need an episiotomy, no tearing at all. Recovery was so much easier with no stitches! So try to work with your doctor to push very slowly and gently when the baby is coming out so you don't tear or need an episiotomy, which also requires stitches. You can tell your doctor in advance that this is what you are aiming for so he/she is prepared with advice when the time comes. They say that if it is clear you are going to tear without an episiotomy, that it is better to have the episiotomy as it is easier to stitch up a straight cut. Hope that is not TMI.

The best thing for anxiety is to do your breathing. Take a childbirth class and learn breathing techniques for transition, pushing, relaxation, etc. And have someone with you during labor to coach you with the breathing.

Yes, there was burning when the baby's head crowned. Just push through it. You'll be OK!

My labors were about 6 hours each or less. The biggest difference between the two births was for the first one I pushed for close to 2 hours, but for the second baby, I only pushed for 15 minutes and she was born. Listen to your coaches during pushing as there are effective ways to do this and ineffective. I was a really slow learner with baby #1 and just could not get the technique down. For baby #2, it was, "oh yeah, I remember how to do this."

Even though childbirth hurts a lot, it is amazing how you forget the pain after a few days or weeks.

Childbirth is really a peak experience of one's life. When your baby comes out and you see another human being, that grew inside of you--it's incredible!

Well, I dissociated, another part of my brain took over and then I came back and got to hold a beautiful baby! Piece of cake!

Best of luck to you Rainbowzz. You'll do great.

Hey Rainbowzz,

I also had very large babies, my largest was over ten pounds, and my twins were 6 lbs a piece (they were C-section though, cheating). I also had a very easy time delivering. My first one I was in labor for 20 minutes from start to finish. Second was quite a bit longer, and C-section for the twins.

I knew suspected I was in labor with my first one, I just didn't feel right, kind of edgy all day. I didn't feel bad, just odd. I went to talk to my Aunt who replied "you'll KNOW if you're in labor". She was wrong. My water broke and instantly I had a beautiful baby boy. My second I had back labor, I just felt like I'd slept wrong. With the twins, I experienced full contracts for the very first time. But pain wise, I have VERY bad cramps with my period and IBS, and I'm serious when I say that those cramps hurt worse than labor.

I was too stupid to be scared the first time, the second I was tired, I was scared with the twins because my doctor did not deliver on the weekends (which he failed to mention btw) and of course my water broke on Saturday morning. RIGHT after my husband was called into work and he worked an hour away.

I had an epidural with my twins, we had that whole problem of finding a doctor that would do a c-section without ever seeing the patient before. The only thing I remember about that was feeling the sting from the shot that they give you to numb you.

The stitches didn't hurt, they ITCHED. Normally they will cut before you tear so that shouldn't be a problem.

Bowel and bladder movements are normal and you really won't even realize you're doing it, but that just reminded me of what I thought when I went into "hard" labor with my first one, I felt like I was really constipated and had to go to the bathroom. Which I stupidly kept attempting to do. It took two nurses and my mother to haul me off of the toilet. I kept saying "I have to go to the bathroom" and they kept saying "It's labor, get back in bed."

The key is relaxing, the more relaxed you're able to be, the easier it'll be. When you feel the panic going on, remind yourself that women have been doing this for thousands of years. Although once you have the epidural, the only thing you should feel is the urge to push.

Frankly, the thing I remember most is the IV's I have needle issues and veins that roll. With my first one they did not have time to put one in :-) the doctor literally walked in, put on a pair of gloves and delivered my son. My husband did not have time to make it to the hospital, and my mother had not planned on being in the room while I delivered, but she didn't have time to leave lol.

And I had the shakes after both of my natural deliveries, even the first one. With my second child they were so bad I was afraid to hold her and they kept trying to make me (military hospital), I had a brand spanking new OB nurse that thought I was "rejecting my baby".

I'm surprised that they let sunrise have something to drink, because that is usually the source of your nausea.

Good luck to you, I'm so excited for you!

oh Rainbowzz... I'm sorry you're scared and its occurring to me that maybe it hasn't hit me just yet. I am not scared in the least. Maybe I'm in denial, but I'm just not anticipating the pain to be unbearable. I plan to do water labor but regular birth; no epidural. I don't know why I'm not worried, but it just seems like such a natural thing that our bodies are meant for.

Yoga and meditative breathing were extremely helpful for me in overcoming nervousness when learning to scuba dive, and I'm thinking that their application in childbirth will be equally helpful.

We'll all be ok - have you ever seen animals give birth (google it, if not) - really interesting! They seem so nonchalant during the process. It doesn't have to be a medically-dependent procedure.

If I were younger, I'd love to give birth at home but I'm just a little more cautious at my age (38).

we'll be fine!

When I had my last baby, 26 years ago, I wanted to do it the natural way. No meds for me. No way.

Also, 9 months was enough to be carrying this lil baby and I was ready for him to be born. Anyway, I called the doctor and told him I kept peeing. He said the water is breaking. Get to the hospital.. I was excited. Baby is on his way.

Well, the first several hours were cool. I had my coach there, doing the breathing during contractions. Later, as the contractions were getting stronger, I wished I had paid better attention in the classes to learn the "breathing" better. Cuz what I was doing was not working . Nope. Not working at all..

Labor was slow and I wasn't dilating enough, so they gave me meds to help that along. Well, several hours later I decided to "forget this natural stuff", give me drugs... And they did. And wow, I liked it. I wanted more. Nurse said the Doc said I could not have any more. I told her to tell the Doc I want more and I want it now. I am sure I said some bad words along the way too. I hated my husband for doing this to me..And boy was he going to pay.. Pay big time.. The doc did give me more of the "happy stuff".. And all was well. I was feeling no pain and boy was I happy.

Baby was born and he was sooo beautiful. It was alllllll worth it.

I should add, I begged the Doc when I went in for the checkup to tell what "drugs" he gave me. That I wanted more of the "happy stuff".. He refused.. I almost, just almost, grins, wanted to get pregnant again, just to get some more of the secret meds.

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AAAAA said:
I'm surprised that they let sunrise have something to drink, because that is usually the source of your nausea.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">It was lemon flavored gatorade so was for energy, electrolyte replacement, etc. You need energy to get through childbirth. Nausea often occurs during transition whether you have eaten or not. It can also be a reaction to narcotics, if you have been given painkillers.

One weird thing about both of my labors is I never ever felt the famous "urge to push." I would have liked to feel that. It made the pushing stage difficult for me as I just had to push when they said instead of when I had the urge.

I am enjoying reading the birth stories!

LOL!! radioflyer-- you are too funny!
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I begged the Doc when I went in for the checkup to tell what "drugs" he gave me. That I wanted more of the "happy stuff".. He refused.. I almost, just almost, grins, wanted to get pregnant again, just to get some more of the secret meds.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Rainbowz, I think it's good you are trying to be informed-- information can be good-- just don't overload on it. Too much info can work against one sometimes.
I never had the luxury of an epidural with either of my deliveries. I've heard that is THE way to go if one has a low tolerance of pain.(I've been told by doctors that I have a high tolerance of pain.... ) I was cut and had stitches for both deliveries, had a very hard/difficult labor with the first, not so much with the second. (I won't go into detail, unless you want to know, then I'll share in a PM) Towards the end of it-- I was in very much pain and contrary to what some will say-- I will NEVER ever forget what that felt like! I don't understand when someone says they forgot how it felt...... (the urges to push and the pain-- I have endometriosis, my periods have always been painful but that pain was not anywhere near the degree of pain I felt in labor... not even close!)
and... it is a feeling like no other, the urge to push- the action that your body is doing without you even in control-- it's kind of freaky!!... in an interesting, exciting way!

Just, please be careful -- some women can become depressed after delivery if their experience was different than what they invisioned or hoped....... birthing is an individual experience and there is not ONE right way..... just because it's a natural thing and all mammals go through similar doesn't mean we don't need reassurance and compassion-- I believe that humans are seperate in that we don't have an instinct for it..... maybe because we as humans are developed intellectually more than other mammals. It's OK to be scared, nervous, excited, sad, happy and any other emotion that might come up.

All the best to you Rainbowz

mandy

-What did your contractions feel like? How did you know you were in labour?

My water broke and shortly after the pain was so unbearable i couldn't really walk to the car. squeezing my husbands hand didn't give me any relief. It's an annoying pain.


-Were you very frightened? I am not sure. i was just concerned with how the baby was doing and my goal was to deliver her.

-How much pain am I looking at here?It's annoying but you can get through it.

-Does the epidural hurt itself going in? Does it actually help?It hurt a lot for me, it's a sharp shooting pain up the spine. Yes it helps. they shut mine off though so i felt the whole pushing and deliver part.

-Is there a possibility if I spiral into an anxiety attack that they will have meds to help out?

I started to have a little one and they offered me a breathing mask. You will just need to relax.

-When the baby is actually coming out, I have heard it BURNS very badly. Is this true?

For me i felt relief everytime her head would come out further and further until she finally came out. You don't really pay attention to the pain. i was screaming and pushing. Just staying focused on getting her out.

-Does the tearing that can happen hurt alot? Do the stitches hurt alot?

You don't feel the stitched going in. after the birth it hurts to walk because your vagina feels like their was a war going on down their. they give you pads that are also ice packs and spray to spray onto yourself. they both feel wonderful down their.

And, more embarassing

-What do they do about pooping and peeing while pushing? anything?

They would clean it up. they put a catheder in for the pee and normally you won't poop on the table.

Also any random tips on how to not be afraid and get through it.

i was freaking out about it at first and was really scared but once you go into labor you get into game time, i guess. You have a goal and you want to get in done and you do. i was vomiting throughout my labor and i was having contractions every three minutes. I was in labor for 12 hours. Go in, lay down, try to relax if at all possible. Go with the flow. Stay in tuned with your body and the baby. I believe that the pain is worth it and you get the most beautiful thing when it is all done with.

Okay, to make this experience briefed..
First off, when you're having contractions embarrassment is the very last of your concern.
Second, epidurals are not nearly as uncomfortable as contractions get later in dilation.
I was two weeks over due in both my pregnancies and I was induced both times. I hear that when you're induced contractions can be stronger...but I wouldn't know any other way to compare to.
I had a ten pound baby the first time I gave birth and I did not tear, it depends on the body of the woman and the position of the baby.
When all is said and done and the baby is out all pain is instantly gone and your focus is on the baby. The pressure subsides and whatever pain may still exist is completely off the mind, probably because at the moment it becomes more then just physical. Cherish that moment, it is very short.
All is worth every once of pain you may endure and since all mothers have experienced the pain and trails of birth it's easier to accept when the pain becomes intense. It's all natural.
I'm excited for you, it's a very beautiful experience.

Rainbowzz, have you considered taking childbirth classes? They are a great place to learn with others who are curious and yes fearful about the process.

You'll learn about how to know when you're in labor, exercises to relieve the discomfort of conrtractions, and lots more about what to expect.

For me, I knew at noon that I was going to begin labor soon, when i lost the mucous plug (there may be a more proper name for that). I continued on my day, having learned from childbirth classes that typically there is plenty of time after that. A few hours later small contractions began and by 4pm they were regular enough that I was sure I was progressing. Later in the evening my water broke.

My labor didn't progress so when I went to the hospital I was given Pitocin to accelerate the contractions. It worked quick.

The pain I experienced with contractions was in my back, not pelvic. How to rate the pain? It was bearable though I asked for a small amount of medication to help. Pain medication will also relax you and the nurses and staff will be comforting you; tell them if you're scared and if you're anxious so they can help you with that.

I had no burning whatsoever when my son was coming out. I had an episiotomy (where they make an incision instead of letting the woman tear) so I wonder if the burning might come from tearing? The stitches didn't hurt a bit, not when they were putting them in and not after.

I didn't have an epidural anesthesia so I don't know about that.

Was I afraid? Oh sure, it is such an important event ! And anything that important that we do for the first time can make us scared.

I remember when I had a contraction that the way the nurses responded meant I must have passed urine or stool, but I'm not sure. They didn't conern me with that; I just remember someone saying that they did have me go to the bathroom earlier.

They are prepared for anything so you don't have to worry about anything but experiencing the wonder and anticipation of seeng your baby soon!

I hope you'll consider childbirth classes. Your doctor or hospital could tell you where some are being held. They'll teach you some breathing techniques to use during contractions that help a lot. And feeling in control will help with the anxiety.

It's such an exciting time, isn't it!

I'd like for the ladies with children to regail me with their tales of how things went. Specifically I am wondering:

-What did your contractions feel like? How did you know you were in labour?
The contractions kind of feel like a squeeze and release, and also a little like cramps. Before and througout contractions, you will find that your mucus plug is passing. It looks like a loogie, sort of. A big old booger that dislodges from the opening in your cervix when it begins to dialate, which is what causes contractions.

-Were you very frightened?
The first time, I was a little uptight. Didn't know what to expect and all. The second time. . .not a bit.

-How much pain am I looking at here?
It depends on YOUR mindset going into this and how "normal" of a delivery you are going to have. If you are being induced, be prepared for a lot of discomfort. Once in the hospital, you'll be relegated to a bed most likely, and though it *seems* comfortable to begin with, after ten or so hours, it can be miserable. B/c most hospitals require fetal monitoring now, getting up and moving around isn't always an option. Some hospitals use "wireless" monitoring however, and that can allow you some mobility. Believe it or not, being able to move and change positions helps a lot. Remember, you are not sick. There is nothing abnormal about what is going on. Childbirth is a normal part of life.

-Does the epidural hurt itself going in? Does it actually help?
The epidural process is a bit painful. That %#@&#! about it feeling like a "pinch" is a load of crap. They're sticking a needle into your back. . .waht do you think? But, it does help for a lot of women. Talk with your doctor abotu this option.

-Is there a possibility if I spiral into an anxiety attack that they will have meds to help out?
Probably not, b/c those medications cross the placental barrier. You don't want an infant getting a dose of Xanax, you know? It is really important that you have a good support system in place. Will your mother, sister, or a close friend be able to be with you? Have you considered a doula?

-When the baby is actually coming out, I have heard it BURNS very badly. Is this true?
You've got something the size of a football coming out of something the size of a garden hose. What do you think? Yes, it burns. But it happens so quickly at that point that if you just hold on for a second, it's over with.

-Does the tearing that can happen hurt alot? Do the stitches hurt alot?
With my first child, they gave me an episotomy. The doc also put in a "honeymoon" stitch that tighened me up so much that I later had to have surgery to fix that before we could have sex again. Don't let them do this. LOL With my daughter, I tore a little, not much. The midwife asked me whether I wanted stitches, I looked at the tear in a mirror and said, "nah." It healed just fine. Didn't bother me much at all. The stitches and episotomy site however irritated the crap out of me. Itching and burning and all that.

And, more embarassing

-What do they do about pooping and peeing while pushing? anything?

When you go into labor, and you KNOW you're in labor, make it a point to start drinking water. The water will help your bowels move hon. Most women have a bowel movement as part of their early labor experience. Same with peeing. Besides, pee that exits the urethea is sterile until it comes in contact with ambient air. If you tinkle a wee bit on your wee one's head, they'll clean it off. It won't hurt the baby, and trust me, they've seen their share of poop too.

Also any random tips on how to not be afraid and get through it.
If you want to PM hon, I'd be happy to chat a bit more iwth you. What you're going to find on the boards is that different women have different ideas about labor and delivery, and I don't want to offend anyone, or have my suggestions carpet bombed either.

I'm here anytime!!

HI,
Here's my 2 cents worth. I have given birth to 4 children...all natural and YES it hurts and YES...things happen that you can't control. But it is all part of the process....you have to experience it for yourself...every one is diffrent and every birth is diffrent. My 1st son took 20 hours to get here...2 hours of pushing...my second son took 17 hours and 1 hour of pushing...3rd son...3 hours and 30 minutes pushing...and daughter took 15 hours and 45 min. of pushing...God made women with bodies that know what to do...and it will kick in and take over. If the 1st experience was so terrible and so on...I would not have had 4 kids.
It's a wonderful miracle...and when they come out healthy that's an even more wonderful miracle! My 3rd son was born with a heart defect and had to have open-heart surgery at the age of 10 weeks. I have had healthy babies and a very sick one...no one can tell you exactly how it will be...can't be determined by doctors either....you have to live it to see. My advice would be to really take it all in...it is truly a miracle.