daily check in for women

Had two(!) covid tests at work. The first time the lid of the specimen container broke as it was being sealed, so it had to be discarded. Work itself was pretty good, I still feel bad about being a slow worker, but I really should work on accepting it, as it’s never going to change now.

at dayla: that's good the kovid test was negative

really enjoyed my mcdonalds 9despite 2 takeouts in a row)

in pain today (but that's a given), at least it's not as bad as it has been and I can actually do stuff (not just sit and scream)

heard from a friend today, who arived home in her own country safely- was pleased to hear that

not sure what's for dinner yet. not decided

It's a holiday weekend here. I'm going to rest and take it easy. I do have a few chores I have to deal with. But it's not too bad. I think I want to work on music today. That will lift my spirits. Last night I was really depressed. I couldn't sleep. I might take a nap later. I also want to read in bed with my cats. Today is a day of self-nurturing.

I just had my dinner- pigs in blankets

not takeout so their's a plus

I hate my sister. Because she appears to be the "more successful" one between us, people tend to believe her when she talks about my brother and I. Anytime I tell people the truth (which contradicts my sister's propaganda), she threatens me via text message that she's cutting me out of her children's lives. Today, it happened again. I check our mother's FB account to keep people updated about our mother and saw a message from our mother's friend of 50 years. So I chatted with her on the phone. She knew me when I was a baby so I have always told her the truth and she's never questioned me (to my face at least). Today, my mother's friend seemed shocked to learn that my God-loving brother physically abused me (he posts about how much he loves God on his FB) a lot and that I have been estranged from him for that reason. She was also shocked to hear that my sister and I hate each other. She tells my sister everything, so I was careless when I disclosed this information to her. But I'm 50 years old, and since I have no contact w/either sibling anymore and am not included in their families lives, I felt I had nothing to lose. It still hurts my feelings that people have such a low opinion of me because of my sister and brother.

I need a bubble. I really need to live in a big ole bubble. Or get some deflectors.

I had a peaceful night. I didn't sleep at all, (which would have obviously made it bettter), but compared to most nights it was rather quiet in the way
of thoughts or flashbackk

mentally I am doing okay today, mood's good and I've eaten fruit (so a nice healthy breakfast)

physically though I wish I was in another body. it really hurts

after yesterday's less than adequate meal, and lots of snacks after (and still not being full), I really hope that today's dinner (and today's food in general) is actually deecent. I am so hungry

not really any updates. no sleep and really bad pain. mentally feeling okay, but when you're in pain it doesn't count for much I find

I'm having a good day. I did some artwork this afternoon. It was relaxing.

Had a good but lazy PJ day, seeing a friend tomorrow and need to wash my hair tonight. Always feels like a massive chore until I start lol.

I'm dealing with heavy cramps today and I hate them. They suck. I felt sad all week long, this is how much my period affects me. I'm planning on talking to my doctor about it, but if I get on birth control pills, I may gain weight so I am thinking maybe I could exercise more and eat healthier. Today I'm planning on relaxing and catching up on TV Series.

I need to do both those things more often
but body pain, fussy eater, doubt it's going to work

I am a lucky winner of a jane austin mug

found out that I was one of 28 selected winners

and, you can never have too many mugs

at least for me: I don't have many so need them

no sleep, pain, starving (I through my food away last night it was so horrible)

I'm doing Okay today. A little tired. But not bad.

I am full, so have no reason to eat snacks today.

last night I had peperoni pizza and it was so good. it's the first time I have been full since friday when I had mcdonalds

such a huge relief

feeling a little upset by something I watched this morning, and reminded me of some memories of old pets- that I didn't realyl want to think about.

I bought a cute coffee table through a 3rd party application. I had to drive to a very sketchy neighborhood but the woman selling the coffee table was so nice and had her husband carry it out and load it into my car for me. Then, this Saturday, i'm buying a desk and the woman selling it, said she would help me load it to my car which again, is so nice.

I did have a dream where I was at a bar with a bunch of people from my past who hate my guts (I didn't want to go to the bar in my dream, but I went hoping these people would finally accept me for who I am now, but in my dream they still rejected me). When I went out into the parking lot in my dream, my car was blocked by another car. I got really angry so I called a tow truck service (in my dream) and just as the tow truck service was loading the owner's car, they came out and tried to instigate a physical fight with me. But, the tow truck driver stood in front of me to protect me. I woke up and realized this is a dream about obstacles. I have a lot of obstacles in my life right now that I have been postponing addressing out of anxiety. Clearly, my subconscious is telling me, "Stop hiding from your problems and deal with them!" So I will try to deal with my obstacles in a realistic way.

I also had another Clairsentient experience which was cool, and I'm an Atheist.

I miss eating pizza, especially pepperoni pizza from Dominoes. But I can't digest them anymore. Getting older stinks!

I feel pretty good this morning. I cooked a tuna casserole. It came out pretty good. Not bad for lentil pasta. Much healthier though.

late checking in today because I had an internet outage. (ugg they suck!)

thankfully, they arn't as bad as they used to be (where I lived before), but it still annoys me.

I also got a call from my care team today, I suppose it went well, though their was nothing really to say- the woman just wanted to reasure me " we've not forgotten you", of course, I realise that or you wouldn't have called. but yeah was still good to talk to someone, even if their was nothing really to say.

had a shopping delivery (mainly candy). looking forward to having sausages for my dinner

got a shower today and just caught up with tv

actually watched who wants to be a million aire: it was amusing, when the husband called his wife to help with a question, a man answered in sted of her, and everyone in the studio was pretty baffled by that (the contestant was shocked, too!)

but it gave me my smile for the day, especially when the host thought she was seeing someone else. I just thought... omg, how embarrassing