Advice on adult girl crushes??

I REALLY NEED SOME ADVICE!

I’m almost 30 and I have a SERIOUS girl crush on my almost 40 yr old dance instructor mentor.. I know that it's just a girl crush and not a real one because I’m straight and my crush on her doesn't ever get sexual or inappropriate. It's still a very strong one nonetheless and it's becoming hard to control..

I DON'T want to act on it EVER. I just went through a very traumatizing breakup last September and she's also married and has a family. Even if she were a single guy, I wouldn’t want to date anyone right now anyway..

I have a girl crush on her because I look up to her and admire her SO MUCH for her personality and how she inspires the students in her class! She's also sooooo dang pretty.. Like when she smiles at me, I get so giddy that I feel like I'm going to explode. That alone could make my entire week and I can’t stop thinking about her smiles. Our dance class is always full and my favorite moments are always when I get to to dance right next to her and see us dancing together in the mirror. Simultaneously I get so jealous and almost annoyed 'cause no matter what I do I can't be as pretty as her lol.

Overall though she is very cool and I just really want to be her friend!

My concern is that I'm not entirely sure if it's obvious and I'm afraid that if it is, it's just going to make her very uncomfortable because it can be easy to misunderstand.. The LAST thing I want to do is make her feel uncomfortable or creeped out by me.

It's hard to open up to anyone about this because I have very conservative friends and family; they don't really understand the concept of a girl crush..

Is there a way for me to figure out on my own if she knows in any way? (I’m not close to her or any of her friends; she just became my mentor almost 2 months ago).
How can I be less obvious?
How can I build a friendship with her?

I feel SO awkward and embarrassed 'cause I don't even remember when I've ever felt like this before. I feel like I'm in high school all over again and it’s like it’s hard to have a grip on reality right now! Is this normal??

Any advice you can give is MUCH appreciated! Thank you! <3

That is a very interesitng post. I have admired teachers and mentors very much but I never thought of it as a girl crush because they were more like surrogate parents to me. It's perfectly natural to want to be friends with someone who is attractive and talented.

I wouldn't worry too much. Maybe your feelings might appear like social awkwardness or something. I have never suspected another girl of having a crush on me except one superior at work who contsntly tried to get my attention and talked non-stop about me to other people. So if you don't do that, she probably doesn't suspect.

Just try to be a good student. Teachers like students who work hard and are willing to try whatever tasks they are given. Being a teacher is hard so making yourself an easy student might make her favor you.

Thank you so much for your response!

So out of curiosity, how did your superior try to get your attention and how often did she talk about you to other people? Cause now I can’t help but overthink all my interactions with her 😂😂

I feel like people have different standards when they say “constantly” lol. For example for me, that could mean almost 24/7 but for others it could be much less lol

Haha. The lady at work was about twice my age and seemed hyperactive. At work, she would talk my ear off and try to make me keep her company when I wanted to leave. Once she blocked the way to my desk did a sort of dance while giggling to try to make me laugh.

She would constantly talk about me in the office to the extent that others got angry and thought it was favortism. She would tell me about converstations she had about me to other people and repeat what they said in response. If she got any personal info about me, like my stepfather had molested me, she would blurt it out to people including my male friends.

I really think that woman had some mental deficiency and might have been gay but either didn't know it or couldn't admit to it because we lived in a very religious town. Then again, openly gay women don't get weird around me so maybe my supervisor was just a dysfunctional straight person.

When I say constantly, I mean she could not seem to help herself when I was in the same office or area. And she said she talked about me to people I didn't even know and that they agreed with what she said about me.

Another meaning of constantly was when a former male teacher kept emailing me and texting all day and trying to make me spend all day chatting with him. When I started ignoring him, he started sending things in the mail and contacting relatives about me. At that level, someone becomes a stalker.

So I think you're ok if you are friendly during class, maybe ask her relevant questions. I would avoid trying to chat before and after every class unless she initiates it. Just say hi when you see her and let her choose whether to approach you.

If you practice in the classroom when it's free between classes, some teachers can't resist giving you pointers or some one-on-one instruction, so that maybe a way to gauge if she welcomes interactions with you.