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Tigger and Willow meowmy
willowtigger
"yes i know i'm just an outcast, i shouldn't
speak to you, still i see your face and wonder,
were you once an outcast too"Esmerelda, HOND
Member Since: Mar 2022
Location: UK
Posts: 2,463
(SuperPoster!)
2,179 hugs
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#1
I have learned that when it comes to relationships, men cannot be trusted to not cheat and/or abuse.
Mum's first husband, for example - my dad: at the same time as being married to Mum, he kept getting girlfriends and
Possible trigger:
Mum's second husband: used to yell and hit, often without a valid reason My relationships: i've always been cheated on and in one case, he used to hit furniture and stuff, simply to frighten me and the cat i had at the time am i right in having learned this lesson? men only want to hurt their partners? this is why after the last ex of mine, i have never allowed another man in and i honestly dont think i ever will just in case i get hurt ![]() __________________ "true courage is about knowing not when to take a life but when to spare one" Gandalf - The Hobbit "There are some days, dark and bitter Seems we haven't got a prayer But a prayer for something better Is the one thing we all share" Someday - Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame "If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever" for my angel girl flying high ![]() The future will not remember, the past does not forget Please don't put me on ignore list thanks |
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Legendary Wise Elder
divine1966
Tired!!!
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 20,423
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#2
There are ton of women abusers so I don’t think it’s necessarily only men. If you are attracted to a particular kind of men then sure it feels every man is that way. Not the case at all.
It’s not always easy to recognize red flags. But if you go for certain kind of guys, it’s because we gravitate towards familiar even if it’s unhealthy. If you grew up surrounded by drama and abuse, you subconsciously gravitate towards that in your relationships Have you tried therapy? Good therapist can really help |
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Member
MaverickLovesYou
Staying positive
Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: NYC, USA (grew up in Brooklyn)
Posts: 162
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#3
Yes some men can be trusted. Sorry for your experiences
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Legendary Wise Elder
Travelinglady
is preparing for another trip.
Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 45,693
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#4
Yes, as Maverick says, some can. I'm sorry your experience has been with such men who can't be trusted.
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Magnate
Aviza
Calm
Member Since: Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,364
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#5
My dad was a wonderful man. He never once hit my mom and loved her very much even though she once hit him. He took her arms and held them so she couldn't hit him again. That was the most volatile moment I saw.
I haven't had good relationships. I'm not done trying though cause I know good guys exist they are a rare jewel but they are out there. I now am aware of red flags in my youth I ignored I no longer do that. __________________ Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P. ![]() Daughter: 20 ![]() Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs. |
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Grand Magnate
Discombobulated
has no updates.
Member Since: Oct 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,412
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#6
Sorry you grew up with such an experience Willowtigger, and that you’ve experienced adult relationships which were not healthy too.
I do think there are many men who are capable of healthy respectful loving relationships, I know many but that’s probably not helpful to hear if you haven’t met them yourself -they are out there. Do you talk this over with a therapist? They might have some insight into spotting red flags with potential partners. |
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Member
NatalieJastrow
has no updates.
Member Since: Aug 2020
Location: LA
Posts: 408
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#7
They cannot be. If they aren't cheating it is probably because they don't have the opportunity.
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Tigger and Willow meowmy
willowtigger
"yes i know i'm just an outcast, i shouldn't
speak to you, still i see your face and wonder,
were you once an outcast too"Esmerelda, HOND
Member Since: Mar 2022
Location: UK
Posts: 2,463
(SuperPoster!)
2,179 hugs
given ![]() |
#8
Quote:
so i stopped trying in the end __________________ "true courage is about knowing not when to take a life but when to spare one" Gandalf - The Hobbit "There are some days, dark and bitter Seems we haven't got a prayer But a prayer for something better Is the one thing we all share" Someday - Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame "If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever" for my angel girl flying high ![]() The future will not remember, the past does not forget Please don't put me on ignore list thanks |
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![]() Discombobulated, Fuzzybear
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Tigger and Willow meowmy
willowtigger
"yes i know i'm just an outcast, i shouldn't
speak to you, still i see your face and wonder,
were you once an outcast too"Esmerelda, HOND
Member Since: Mar 2022
Location: UK
Posts: 2,463
(SuperPoster!)
2,179 hugs
given ![]() |
#9
sounds familiar, it seems they think with what they have between their legs, not their brain
__________________ "true courage is about knowing not when to take a life but when to spare one" Gandalf - The Hobbit "There are some days, dark and bitter Seems we haven't got a prayer But a prayer for something better Is the one thing we all share" Someday - Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame "If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever" for my angel girl flying high ![]() The future will not remember, the past does not forget Please don't put me on ignore list thanks Last edited by willowtigger; Aug 07, 2022 at 04:20 PM.. Reason: rewording this |
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Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear
has no updates.
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 95,119
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#10
Quote:
I agree with the poster who mentioned that there are a lot of women abusers also. It can take time to learn to spot red flags especially if the ''services'' do not wish to be of service. Hugs ![]() __________________ ![]() |
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![]() Discombobulated, willowtigger
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Magnate
ArtleyWilkins
has no updates.
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 2,651
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#11
I grew up with a father who was absolutely trustworthy and devoted to my mother for 65 years. I grew up knowing what an honorable man is. I was with my own husband for 35 years before he passed. He was absolutely trustworthy and dedicated to our relationship.
Whether a person can be trusted or not has nothing to do with their gender. A person’s character determines their trustworthiness. |
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Tigger and Willow meowmy
willowtigger
"yes i know i'm just an outcast, i shouldn't
speak to you, still i see your face and wonder,
were you once an outcast too"Esmerelda, HOND
Member Since: Mar 2022
Location: UK
Posts: 2,463
(SuperPoster!)
2,179 hugs
given ![]() |
#12
all men will ever do to a willowtigger is hit her
cause its all she deserves __________________ "true courage is about knowing not when to take a life but when to spare one" Gandalf - The Hobbit "There are some days, dark and bitter Seems we haven't got a prayer But a prayer for something better Is the one thing we all share" Someday - Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame "If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever" for my angel girl flying high ![]() The future will not remember, the past does not forget Please don't put me on ignore list thanks |
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Member
ilive4music
has no updates.
Member Since: Sep 2013
Location: SAD
Posts: 175
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#13
Quote:
I think it depends on the person, not so much the gender. There are good men out there and good women too but there are also people in both genders who will abuse you and use you in any opportunity they get.. It's a matter of taking a risk to trust the person. I can understand how you feel because most of my relationships with men were me getting hurt in the end, so I don't want to allow anyone in my life again either. Then again who knows what might come along my way? I might meet someone who is a great person , and I'll have to take that risk or just stay single forever. |
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