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Old 07-23-2022, 03:10 PM   #1
willowtigger
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Default Can men be trusted?

I have learned that when it comes to relationships, men cannot be trusted to not cheat and/or abuse.

Mum's first husband, for example - my dad: at the same time as being married to Mum, he kept getting girlfriends and
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with them, then after Mum divorced him he started fathering more kids, not financially supporting any of the kids he fathered

Mum's second husband: used to yell and hit, often without a valid reason

My relationships: i've always been cheated on and in one case, he used to hit furniture and stuff, simply to frighten me and the cat i had at the time

am i right in having learned this lesson? men only want to hurt their partners?

this is why after the last ex of mine, i have never allowed another man in and i honestly dont think i ever will just in case i get hurt
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Old 07-23-2022, 07:08 PM   #2
divine1966
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Default Re: Can men be trusted?

There are ton of women abusers so I donít think itís necessarily only men. If you are attracted to a particular kind of men then sure it feels every man is that way. Not the case at all.

Itís not always easy to recognize red flags. But if you go for certain kind of guys, itís because we gravitate towards familiar even if itís unhealthy. If you grew up surrounded by drama and abuse, you subconsciously gravitate towards that in your relationships

Have you tried therapy? Good therapist can really help
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Old 07-23-2022, 08:33 PM   #3
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Default Re: Can men be trusted?

Yes some men can be trusted. Sorry for your experiences
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Old 07-24-2022, 09:29 PM   #4
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Default Re: Can men be trusted?

Yes, as Maverick says, some can. I'm sorry your experience has been with such men who can't be trusted.
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Old 07-28-2022, 07:25 PM   #5
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Default Re: Can men be trusted?

My dad was a wonderful man. He never once hit my mom and loved her very much even though she once hit him. He took her arms and held them so she couldn't hit him again. That was the most volatile moment I saw.

I haven't had good relationships. I'm not done trying though cause I know good guys exist they are a rare jewel but they are out there. I now am aware of red flags in my youth I ignored I no longer do that.
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Old 07-31-2022, 12:13 PM   #6
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Default Re: Can men be trusted?

Sorry you grew up with such an experience Willowtigger, and that youíve experienced adult relationships which were not healthy too.

I do think there are many men who are capable of healthy respectful loving relationships, I know many but thatís probably not helpful to hear if you havenít met them yourself -they are out there.

Do you talk this over with a therapist? They might have some insight into spotting red flags with potential partners.
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Old 08-07-2022, 04:04 PM   #7
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Default Re: Can men be trusted?

They cannot be. If they aren't cheating it is probably because they don't have the opportunity.
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Old 08-07-2022, 04:09 PM   #8
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Default Re: Can men be trusted?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Discombobulated View Post
Sorry you grew up with such an experience Willowtigger, and that youíve experienced adult relationships which were not healthy too.

I do think there are many men who are capable of healthy respectful loving relationships, I know many but thatís probably not helpful to hear if you havenít met them yourself -they are out there.

Do you talk this over with a therapist? They might have some insight into spotting red flags with potential partners.
i dont have a therapist, every time i ask for help i get shunted between learning disabilities help and mental health help cause nobody wanted to know when i was trying

so i stopped trying in the end
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Old 08-07-2022, 04:11 PM   #9
willowtigger
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willowtigger "yes i know i'm just an outcast, i shouldn't speak to you, still i see your face and wonder, were you once an outcast too"Esmerelda, HOND
 
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Default Re: Can men be trusted?

Quote:
Originally Posted by NatalieJastrow View Post
They cannot be. If they aren't cheating it is probably because they don't have the opportunity.
sounds familiar, it seems they think with what they have between their legs, not their brain
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"true courage is about knowing not when to take a life but when to spare one" Gandalf - The Hobbit
"There are some days, dark and bitter Seems we haven't got a prayer But a prayer for something better Is the one thing we all share" Someday - Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame
"If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever" for my angel girl flying high
The future will not remember, the past does not forget
Please don't put me on ignore list thanks

Last edited by willowtigger; 08-07-2022 at 04:20 PM.. Reason: rewording this
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Old 10-31-2022, 11:21 AM   #10
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Default Re: Can men be trusted?

Quote:
Originally Posted by willowtigger View Post
i dont have a therapist, every time i ask for help i get shunted between learning disabilities help and mental health help cause nobody wanted to know when i was trying

so i stopped trying in the end
That sucks.

I agree with the poster who mentioned that there are a lot of women abusers also. It can take time to learn to spot red flags especially if the ''services'' do not wish to be of service.

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Old 11-03-2022, 11:31 PM   #11
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Default Re: Can men be trusted?

I grew up with a father who was absolutely trustworthy and devoted to my mother for 65 years. I grew up knowing what an honorable man is. I was with my own husband for 35 years before he passed. He was absolutely trustworthy and dedicated to our relationship.

Whether a person can be trusted or not has nothing to do with their gender. A personís character determines their trustworthiness.
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Old 11-17-2022, 02:47 PM   #12
willowtigger
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Default Re: Can men be trusted?

all men will ever do to a willowtigger is hit her

cause its all she deserves
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"true courage is about knowing not when to take a life but when to spare one" Gandalf - The Hobbit
"There are some days, dark and bitter Seems we haven't got a prayer But a prayer for something better Is the one thing we all share" Someday - Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame
"If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever" for my angel girl flying high
The future will not remember, the past does not forget
Please don't put me on ignore list thanks
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