Middle age, perimenopause, and clothes

Hello!

I'm facing a dilemma and hopefully others can relate or give me their opinion.

Am middle-aged, professional, working person. I also work out, and most recently, a bit more than usual. Thus, body has changed a bit, but not that much. A few years ago, my hips spread. How did I tell? Because my weight didn't change but my pants didn't fit anymore.

My weight used to be in the high 120s-low 130s. Now, it's a bit more like mid-high 130s. I work out, have more muscle, and yes, I do eat.

Given the changes in society, the clothes from about 10 years ago, which are of excellent quality, don't fit the way they used to. But I am torn to see these great quality garments disappear from my closet. Reality check: I don't wear them because the dress code has relaxed quite a bit, I'd say, in the last 5 years, and also because I am not as comfortable wearing them because when I bought them I was thinner. Of course, we've all been through thinner and

I've discovered ThredUp... oh my!

Should I revamp my wardrobe and toss what I have not worn in years? I'd either give it to a thrift store or donate it. I'm not really looking into making any money off of them.

If you have gone through something similar... tell me about it.

Maybe I'm seeking validation that I need to update my closet, but it's so hard to let go, yet... I have no use for these items... and the clothes they make today are so cheap...

Don't hold back. Share your thoughts.

Update! But a warning, ThredUp can be addicting.

Dress for Success San Jose this is a charity that collects good quality professional clothing to help women looking for jobs appear poised at interviews. It has many locations.

I found more validation

Those Extra Pounds and Inches Are Not Just Fat -- Your Bones Are to Blame Too - ABC News

Looks like those clothes will never fit again!

utterly amazing

I am really struggling with this. I just can't find clothing that looks good over the regular sizes. And I am just over those sizes. Some if fat gain, some is muscle gain and I guess some is bone gain. When I go to work I am uncomfortable all day long. Thread up used to be a good option but they have really changed their policies. I just keep looking.

At this point I have learned never to throw good clothing away. Shockingly my body fluctuates and it has saved me.

I hadn’t heard of thredup but looking at it think it’s just in the US.

I’m similar age to you I think and can confirm middle aged spread is definitely a thing, I used to be super skinny but not recently and my pants definitely fit more snuggly. Personally I’m just gradually replacing stuff a bit more roomier fit as I go. No big revamps for me. I’m also rediscovering brighter colours for some reason and getting compliments on that. I think I may be a more casual dresser than you describe however.

I have actually suspected something like this. I work with young people and often to me it seems like they are not fully grown (even at 27 or 28) Although they tells us that we don't grow over a certain age, I am guessing we do grow... in small ways. throughout our lifetime.

I wouldn't even be surprised if problems like osteoprosis is, in large part, by people not eating enough trying to get smaller, thinking it is fat... but it is bone and muscle and tissue all trying to increase to protect you in old age.

Here's an update. Seems my clothes are not as great as I thought they were... I went to the first thrift store and they only wanted to buy one hat! Am heading to a couple more today. If nothing, then I'm donating.

I just don't think I will be able to fit into the pants ever again. Same with some skirts. As for the rest, I did go all out in taking stuff out of the closet I have held onto to for years (in some cases, I had clothes from more than 15 years ago with tags still on them) and don't wear or like.

The story continues...

I am just surprised that in early 40s you call yourself middle-aged. Isn't that an outdated classification?

When does middle-age start nowadays then? I was congratulated about reaching this "milestone" when I hit 40...

Not until you start qualifying for senior discounts, that is for sure.

It’s all self perception surely, I didn’t really feel properly middle aged until peri menopause personally, so late 40s for me.

I never heard of Thredup at all until this thread.

It's good news that my bones may be the reason I can't fit into certain pairs of pants; I too thought we stopped growing in our 20's. Still, since my stomach has no bones, that's definitely fat where I can't button them up.

40's is not middle aged at all, since people live longer now. It's more in one's 60's which is my decade but I don't "feel" middle aged. The phrase has negative connotations, like the person is out of shape and useless lol. I hate the word "elderly" which sounds like people over 90 at least. The government calls me "elderly".

It's much harder to lose weight after menopause that's for sure. I'm also trying to keep a moustache at bay..

I have a lot of clothes, most of still fit. I have given away a lot of stuff in the past, including to Goodwill's program for homeless women who need business attire. I gave away so many suits and pumps and still had plenty left.

Most of my stuff also has good memories attached, so they are hard to get rid of for that reason. If only the right occasion would come up, I could wear things I haven't worn in years. Giving them away is like giving up hope I'll ever have anywhere to go again.

Comfort is what I look for now, both in my clothes and shoes. No more heels, not for almost 20 years now, when I developed all these foot/ankle problems from wearing them. I haven't been skinny since I was in my 20's or maybe 30's too. I'm definitely a casual dresser, it's just more comfortable. Dressy clothes look great but don't FEEL great.

Also have to watch what I eat due to slower metabolism and easy weight gain. But I won't deprive myself completely of foods I enjoy, which unfortunately are not the healthy kind, lol.

Nonightowl - you read my mind!

And its just plain embarrassing that my favorite summer run around outfit is exactly my mother's - baggy knee length shorts and an oversize tank top or t shirt. Altho hers tended to kittens, plaids and pastels while i am khaki, camo and black.

I'm glad somebody reads my mind. I never heard the term kittens used except when referring to heels, it seems they apply to a type of T-shirt too.

I gained so much weight from the lockdowns that one of my workout T-shirts doesn't fit anymore. Too tight and I need to get at least one more, since the other still fits. I think that one was larger to begin with.....Wish I got two of them but how could I have known I'd be isolated and do nothing but eat and watch Covid news?

I also have never heard of kittens except when referring to heels (which, unfortunately, I cannot wear). And I cannot determine what a kitten t-shirt is because Google search results are filled with t-shirts with kittens printed on them. Pray tell us, what is a kitten type t-shirt?

I can't find it either, not that I'd mind shirts with cats or kittens, I have a couple! I haven't worn heels in decades and can't now, except for one low-heeled pair but it's for a dressy occasion, of which I am not going to so far.

Anyway this is proof of "just Google it" as people say doesn't always give you what you want! Maybe it's a term from an earlier time?

true. And generative AI is not helpful, either.

I asked google [a type of t-shirt is called kitten] hoping that its Generative AI would be smart enough to understand. No, it was not. This is what it said:

"A kitten is a baby cat. T-shirts are a style of fabric shirt that are named after the T shape of their body and sleeves. They traditionally have short sleeves and a round neckline, known as a crew neck, which lacks a collar."

So it did not say anything at all that we did not already know. It was completely useless.

She was referring to a t-shirt with kittens on it. Her mother wore shirts with kittens, plaids and pastel colors. Whereas she wears camouflage, black and khaki.

Sorry i was unclear! But nammu understood me, so she wins?

In my mother's defense, these outfits were often hand-me-downs from her lady friends. She would spend money on a nice suit or dress to wear to weddings or showers, but casual / chore clothes, not so much. They were always one step away from the rag bin.

My mum was much the same. Spending money on dress clothes but nobody dressed up any more. Her casual clothes were garage sale bargains. The last few years I bought her stuff from on line. She was just tickled pink at the quality of the undershirts I bought her. As there was no place in town that sold woman’s undershirts any more. Mum was always tall and skinny until her 70’s then she started shrinking and getting a bit think around the middle. But not until then. Me I was always short and started thickening in my 50’s.

Yes, she does, and so does Google with its Generative AI: they actually did not make mistakes when they understood my queries to mean T-shirts with kittens printed on them.

Nammu often knows words and things I don't know.


I didn't know those T-shirts are named after the shape of kittens and their bodies. They were just T-shirts to me and those are the only kind I ever wore anyway. On the subject of AI, this scares the daylights out of me. It is moving too fast and it is not going to get enough oversight. Not only does it not always know the answer, but it can create things or imitate people such as actors.

T shirts are not named after kittens body shapes. You are reading too much into the AI's mere sequence of statements. Those should have been separate paragraphs. T shirts are named after the letter T.