Anyone else from their childhood not allowed to do things cause you’re a girl?

Here is my list that I’ve heard from my childhood that I wasn’t allowed to do because I was a girl and according to them, only boys could do those things:

- Roughhouse (or in other words, I should “act like a lady”)

- Go without a shirt or bra (I was given my first bra before I got into middle school)

- Make funny noises with my body parts (arm-farts, knuckle cracking, etc.)

- Talk about my period in public (apparently boys don’t have periods, in a similar context they talk about their balls and how many girls they slept with)

- Go against any rules in any way (but guys can do whatever they want because boys will be boys, am I right?)

- Sit or lie down with my legs spread (because apparently if my undies are seen (despite the fact I mostly wear pants and shorts), I am distracting the boys, yet it’s fine for boys to stick their d*** out in public and piss on the concrete)

- Go walking in public showing off hairy legs or armpits (because any hair that is not on our heads and we have vaginas is apparently disgusting and unhygienic, I stopped shaving my legs in September 2023 and I regret nothing, my mom is pissed about it but IDGAF what she thinks)

- Talk out loud (oh dear god, this one! I have been tone policed all my life, told to “talk in the right tone” because apparently my normal speaking is “too loud” for all the sexist pigs in the room, yet guys are free to scream their heads off, what a load of s***)

- Have valid emotions (because apparently men aren’t supposed to have any emotions at all, and we all know anger is totally not an emotion, it’s funny how we’re told we’re free to have emotions, yet at the same time we’re ridiculed for expressing them at all, the double standard is blatant, folks)

- Fart or burp (because apparently girls don’t fart or burp, and if we do, we’re disgusting pigs and not real women)

That’s all I have for my list. You can make a list of your own if you like. No judging or s*** shaming please. Thank you.

I'd have to say I don't do any of the things you mentioned. I guess it's just how I was "conditioned" or so to speak. And I'd be ridiculed if I did them.

My dad kinda turned me into a dude practically. A lot of competitive sports, not showing emotion (if you have emotions don't do anything rash just get high), peeing outside (although I probably would've done this anyway out of necessity), fighting with anyone, encouraged more "manly" studies/think about careers dominated by men like plumbing and construction (and then told me about his coworkers making jokes about putting gerbils up their...never mind), couldn't listen to any sad songs/movies or any love songs/movies, perfume and deodorant were banned (now I prefer the smell of cow manure over walking by the perfume section of any store, which was great because there was a farm by our XC practice area and race course).

But yeah, anything girls were supposed to do I was very uncomfortable because I never felt like a girl.

My mom isn't feminine by any standards either. At least she wears deodorant and bras though.

I’m curious, did your father ever wish he had a son instead, so it must be why he trained you to be more manly so he could see you more as a boy?

I'm not sure if he necessarily wanted a son/was upset about having a daughter instead, but he sure as hell didn't want me to be how he looked at women (stereotypes like being over-emotional, weak, bad at science/math/technology/engineering/construction, etc. easily offended, whatever else was going on in his mind). He tried convincing, maybe even training, me to be sociopathic. Said my handwriting meant I'd either be a lawyer of a serial killer and it was up to me to decide if I wanted money or prison. The idea of having a job that isn't "supposed to be for women" drove him nuts, and now drives me nuts (except maybe nurse, but even that I wouldn't go for because at points I lose any patience and empathy for people).

Oh my god! I am so sorry this happened to you! Your father is an absolutely horrible man and doesn’t deserve to be considered human! What he had done to you is very inhumane and disgusting!

I hope you’re far away from him now. And I hope you can recover from all that trauma. I’m rooting for you!

Steve, Butch, Jack & Me took guitar classes in high school together, and we were good - constantly acing our assignments & tests singing and playing those popular hits from that time period (the 70's).

We wanted to make our own band. My female parental unit flatly refused. When I mentioned my older brothers had both been in bands in high school she said that was different.

She was convinced I'd turn into a drug addict and become a sl*t and/or a wh*re (her exact words) were I to be in a band.

We were really good. I've even written songs and had them copyrighted, and a few have been looked at and considered by up and coming artists.

Another missed opportunity! So many sad regrets from my chaotic and abusive childhood - and most of them not of my own making.