[miopia]

I need help turning off a guy I never intended to turn on. He is a sex addict I am sure and keeps worming his way into my life. Met him at a group I used to attend on a regular basis. The group is important to me. He's managed to screw everything up for me. He's made himself the center of attention in my life. When he couldn't get me involved the way he wanted to he ended up playing some hateful, hurtful headgames persumably for the emotional reaction. Presumably he wanted me to cry and then, hold me-- I assume. That didn't happen. I need to get rid of him, so that I can go back to this meeting. He relies on standard manipulations, boundary violations, controls conversations, doesn't listen to me, has moved me into a position where i am isolated. Many red flags that indicate a toxic personality. What do I do to get this obsessed man to leave me alone for good? I feel as though every move I make, he'll make a counter-move. He's tried guilting me. He's tried making me feel sorry for him. He's tried planning activities that just won't work unless I participate. None of these things got him the attention he wanted. Now, I think he is trying to play the bad boy. Whatever I do, whatever I say, I can't see that I can make him leave me alone. I am a fix and he's a junkie. I hardly know him. I don't want to quit this group and the people who are important to me forever. He is a married (as if that matters to him) swinger. In the meantime, I am suffering from clinical depression and just do not have the strength to cope with this trouble-making jerk.

Anybody got any ideas?

[youOme]

Be so brutal to this man, he is trying to use and abuse you. If this group is important to you than stand your ground. Tell the man to leave you the hell alone. Be down right mean. Sometimes it's necessary. Remember this is your life and you control who comes into it and who contributes to it. He sounds like a corrupter to me, don't let him in the door, tell him to go home to his wife and that his behavior is not honorable nor attractive and that your NOT interested at all.

[Rhapsody]

Not to sound mean or any thing.... but have you tried just saying NO and walking away? - as no one can come into your life (personal space) unless you allow them.