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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2005
Posts: 3,886
18 47 hugs
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Nov 21, 2008 at 04:20 PM
#1
Hello Everyone
 I am very insecure about working in groups of women. In one of my college courses, I have to work with a group of about 5 other women to do a group project. And already I have paranoid thoughts that one ladies doesnt like me (I dont know why...she only knows me because I am in most of her classes and I don't talk much during classes). I feel pressured to be liked by my group members. To do my best work as a team member. Can anyone relate to what I am going through? Any suggestions on how to cope with the feelings/thoughts that this one lady doesnt like me? I tense up at the thought of working in groups of women and detest coming to this class because of it. Zen888 
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Ga
Posts: 13,936
19 34 hugs
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Nov 21, 2008 at 04:52 PM
#2
I hate working closely with other women myself. I was a trainer for a trucking company and I refused to put women on my truck. it ended up being a competition and I refuse to compete. that being said if I were in school and had to do a project with them I would go ahead and do it. I would do my best to put my feelings aside and try to move on. I too want everyone to like me and have never felt real comfortable around other women too much.
__________________ He who angers you controls you! |
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 Zen888
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2005
Posts: 3,886
18 47 hugs
given |
Nov 23, 2008 at 05:12 PM
#3
Hi Everyone
I really need your help with this issue. I "seriously" think that this one lady doesn't like me in the group. It may be my paranoid thoughts kicking in... How do I calm down and not tense up at the thought of working in a group full of women? Zen888 
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: ohio, us
Posts: 15,446
(SuperPoster!)
19 23 hugs
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Nov 23, 2008 at 07:22 PM
#4
Zen, let's follow the fears out, honey.
Go with me a minute, OK? What IF she doesn't like you, as little as she knows about you? KD __________________ 
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Zen888
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2005
Posts: 3,886
18 47 hugs
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Nov 23, 2008 at 07:43 PM
#5
Hi GKD
Then she is judging me on very little information and isnt taking the time to get to know me. Zen888
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Junior Member
Member Since Nov 2008
Posts: 13
15 |
Nov 26, 2008 at 11:12 PM
#6
Zen, you poor kid. You must be very young and sweet. I am guessing that in your life you will probably meet lots of women who hate your guts on sight. It sucks. It really does. How can they be so shallow?
Just do your best work. Keep records of the work you do just in case this lady tries to tell the professor that you didn't do any work. Jealous women, which she may be, can wreak havoc in your life. Good luck. |
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Zen888
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Poohbah
Member Since May 2008
Location: Alabama, USA
Posts: 1,309
16 59 hugs
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Dec 03, 2008 at 04:51 AM
#7
Hey there honey,
I feel like this all the time! I'm constantly feeling inadequate and there are some girls and guys in my group who tend to pick at me quite a bit sometimes, but back to the question that Kimmydawn asked. You answered "Then she is judging me on very little information and isnt taking the time to get to know me." So, if she knows very little about you and has almost nothing to go on, then is she really worth worrying about, do you really want to be friendly with someone who judges you on the slightest, tiniest little thing? I always get asked this by my mental health worker at college and I always end up kicking myself because I think "yeah, what is the point in worrying?" So, maybe try nto to worry about it so much, just think about how low she is going as to judge you on almost nothing. I hope this helps TPND |
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Zen888
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Junior Member
Member Since Dec 2007
Posts: 8
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Dec 07, 2008 at 08:50 AM
#8
Quote:
What to do? |
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Legendary
Member Since Jan 2007
Location: U.S.
Posts: 10,383
17 106 hugs
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Dec 07, 2008 at 02:07 PM
#9
Zen, it doesn't matter if this one woman doesn't like you. You only have to be able to work with each other, not be friends. Put your best foot forward, be professional, meet her with a positive attitude, and get your work done. It does not matter if she doesn't like you. You know the truth about yourself, that you are a worthwhile person with many good qualities. If you are positive and hardworking, the other group members will see this, and they will fall in line with you to handle this woman you are scared of, if indeed she is being pissy and negative and preventing the group from doing good work. You take the high road. She may follow suit.
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__________________ "Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
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Zen888
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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