so, what's the story?

When I started my last job, all I received were accolades about the quality of my work and how much better I was than my predecessor. After about one and a half years, I took a weeks vacation and, when I returned, my boss came up to my desk with a smile on her face and asked, "So you're leaving?" I had no idea what she was talking about. She asked two more times before a I managed to say, "No. I'm planning on staying." After that, all types of rudeness and abuse started. And, it was hinted that I would never work in this field again. I was treated as insubordinate for not resigning. Yet, they would not fire me as I worked harder and harder and got more and more stressed about my job that I liked and was trying to keep.

I was told that my job description was impossible by my boss and there was no way that I could do the job. But, it was not in my powers to change the job description. I was trying to be a good employee and worked harder and harder.

After I finally stood up to my boss - which required a panic attack on my part - no one will now hire me. If you are given such "hints" are you required to resign? I've never heard of that. Are you insubordinate because you have not resigned? The treatment at work made my PTSD come back and resulted in anxiety and depression issues. My panic attack was viewed as anger - I was angry at being unfairly treated. The anger was provoked after months of mistreatment.

So, my question is, if you're being treated like that, are you required to resign? Am I being rude / naive by not taking the hint? Should it make me unemployable? Was my boss doing me a favor by hinting that I should leave (without fully explaining it, mind you) and my not taking the hint a form of incompetance? Granted, I was hired at will and the employer could have terminated me at any time without reason by law. Still, they persisted in abusing me. What do you think?

I am not sure where you live or what is available in your area, but, up here in Canada, we ahve a labour board for people to call about just such issues or a free consultation with a labour lawyer. Labour board is free though. Is there such a department for your area unhappyguy? If there is, I would advise you to report this. I am sorry this has happened to you.

The US has awful labor laws...most states are "work at will" states meaning that they can fire you for just about anything except for a handful of discrimination categories (even those leave too much room for shady interpretations.) Do not resign!! You will be denied unemployment benefits!! Their pressure is a ruse to cheat you!! They need to document why they are firing you. If you are a good worker they are are wide open for a legal fight. Keep a notebook/journal every day of what the do to you (only the facts keep emotion out of it) then seek legal counsel!!

thanks, growlycat. they have already fired me. but, even worse, they are giving me negative references that are preventing me from being rehired. i have done some research on the EEOC site and i may be able to file a retaliation claim against them. it is illegal to prevent someone from being rehirable. still, it's a hard thing to do because every time i try to work on it, my PTSD from the firing acts up. i am going to have to force myself to sit through it and get it done. thanks again for your comments.

If a boss treats you like that, then you need to report her to her boss. If there is no one above her or if her boss is just as abusive, then for your own good you need to quit. No, you are not required to resign. It is terrible and unfair when an employer treats a hard-working employee like this, but it happens. If it's worth it to you to put up with the abuse and work harder until they fire you, that is your call. To me, it wouldn't be worth it to put up with their abuse at the risk of my mental and physical health. But, I have only learned this after dealing with a couple of rude employers myself. Sorry, you were treated so terribly and I hope you are able to move on and find a much kinder employer.

hey, AnnD - I was taught never to quit a job unless I had another one. Why give them what they want and leave myself in a hole with no income?

unhappy guy - this might give you a laugh.

I used to work for a company that was notorious for violating HR legislation - they routinely fired women who got pregnant for example, until they got sued, and I was called to testify against the company that it was a pattern.

Anyway - this company never wanted to pay out severance, so if they wanted to get rid of you, they'd just go out of their way to make you so miserable that you'd quit. They started this treatment on me. But I'm pretty tough, and have a hold out for the package kind of attitude towards employment, so I just coped with it as best I could. My boss started my performance appraisal one year, by saying "everybody hates you". I walked out, informed him he was clearly unprepared for the meeting, and that I'd respond to the performance appraisal in writing to HR. It was crazy they were trying to document me on everything and I was documenting everything back. Finally I decided that if they couldn't find me they couldn't fire me, so I booked a 6 week trip accross Canada doing market research (I was negotiating author contracts at the time) and meeting with existing authors. Really it was just an excuse to get the heck out of dodge and run up my expense account. I was on a flight from Regina to Winnipeg and was reading the free newspaper that had been handed out on the flight - it was Toronto's major business paper, and there was a quarter page add for a finance position in a newly formed position in a new division that was the result of a merger within my company. They wanted someone with an MBA. I said what the h***, and when the flight landed I called the head of HR and said - "This may be crazy but I want to apply for the Business Manager's position you've advertised in the globe" She said well how are you qaulified. I said I'm graduating with my MBA in corporate finance in 2 weeks. The interview process was hillarious, but in the end I got the job which made me senior to my previous boss, who ultimately left the company about 5 months later, and suddenly I was the golden employee that nobody could touch.

I told my friends it was the ultimate employee revenge story.

splitimage

Hi I am new here so hello. I read your message and this is what I think. I would bet you were hired at a time when these so called employers were at a busy time of the year. You mentioned you were hired at will.

Now things have calmed down and it coincided with you going away for a week. When you came back they no longer had the need for you in the same capacity as they did before you went away.

Instead of doing the right thing and telling you this, and nicely letting you go, with a pink slip, so you could look for another job or be eligible for unemployment. It would still suck but at least it would of been honest.

I am wondering if your good nature has been taken advantage of. It seems to me that these so called employers did not want to have to pay towards your unemployment if they let you go the proper way. To me it seems as if they were trying to goad you into resigning to get around this problem... not nice!

I am sorry this happened to you. It seems plain wrong I hope things will improve for you in any future endeavors.