[Vossie42]

and replaced by two completely inexperienced people. (I know them and worked with them. They were complete newbies.) I was laid off after 9.5 years. My company failed and was bought by another company.

I was laid off 7 weeks ago and am still livid about it. The anger is eating me alive. I keep trying to understand why I was let go instead of other less qualified (not necessarily cheaper) people. I know that lay offs happen and that they don't always make sense - just like breakups. But I find it really difficult to let this go. So I'm putting it all out there to see if that helps me to let this mess go. Writing in a journal for my eyes only does not help. Maybe posting this on the internet for people to see, sympathize, comment on, whatever, will help.

The new company did not lay off the managers. The managers did have to accept less pay and a demotion in title. But they do have their jobs. Some of the "worker bees" were let go and they were good, productive and likeable employees. Some that were kept on are lazy and sloppy. The only thing my boss told me when she laid me off was that the lay off was not due to any wrongdoing on my part. There simply wasn't enough room in the department of the new company for me. Then what was it? It makes no sense that they would bring in two people who knew nothing at all of their new job when I knew the job and software inside and out from several aspects: benefit, payroll and finance. The department manager was really excited to have me. Obviously she got overruled. I was kept around to help clean up the financial side of my job and then they let me go. My only consolation is that the department is really struggling with integrating information my old company's software into the new company's software. Same software and operating platform, but the information didn't transfer the way the IT department thought it would. IT doesn't know finance or benefits. Finance doesn't know benefits. Benefits doesn't know finance. I knew benefits and finance and what IT needed and could have made the transition much smoother. According to my former coworkers, they're still struggling to make that transition while keeping up with their workload.

So what does that leave? Personality problems? No one has ever complained about me that I know. Certainly not enough for my boss to mention to me. When my department was downsized from 3 people to 1 (me) in a single day, I did strongly recommend that certain procedural changes should not be made since they would result in our losing money and a decrease in the quality of customer service. The changes were eventually made anyway. And, yep, we did lose money and customer service decreased due to the changes.

I did some issues with a coworker after she became a manager because her boss was fired for incompetency. She was great to work with until she became a manager. I expected her to throw her weight around for awhile and she did. No biggie - except that she didn't settle down after a few months like all the other newly promoted managers did. She consistently withheld information from me that I needed to do my job. She almost never put anything in writing. This annoyed a number of people. It was a problem for me since I'm hard of hearing and I had difficulty understanding her voice (only hers, though). She was not willing to make reasonable accomodations like everyone else in my company did. The sales director and CEO were her mentors so I can only imagine what she said to them about me.

The HR/benefits director may have something to do with this, too. She told people that I didn't want a boss. (Background: When my department was downsized from 3 to 1 people, I didn't have a boss for about a year. I was on my own.) When the HR director came on board, I was ecstatic to have a boss. Once I inadvertently made a boss-like decisions that I should have left to her. I quickly realized my mistake and apologized to her. I was not accustomed to having a boss and acted out of automatic reflex. I didn't make that mistake again.

Now get this: We went through 3 CEOs in 2 years. The 2nd CEO was fired/let go (doesn't matter which) for sleeping with his assistant. 6 months later he shows up again as the broker of the sale of my old company to the new company who bought us. WTF?? There are also other serious rumors from reputable sources.

Also, the state took over our sister company. That's serious trouble when the state takes over a company. Two days after state officials came into our offices and told people to stop working and started collecting files, my company was sold. Rumors have it that the state wanted to take receivorship of my old company, too, but the owner managed to sell it before the state could do that. Or maybe she cut a deal with the state. Who knows.

This former CEO now works for the new company as a financial consultant. It's widely believed that he has tremendous influence, if not veto power, over who stays and who goes. I can't think of whatever I might have done or said to offend him. I've always been nice to him. I never said anything bad about him to anyone even when I found out about the affair. He has even complimented me on being a "workhorse" and that I got things done when no one else did. One rumor says that he got rid of me because he thought I was a troublemaker since he believed that I spoke ill of his favorite employee. I never said anything bad about her. In fact, we're good friends. But then she was laid off, too. Huh???

That TV show "The Office" is so incredibly boring compared to what I've been through for the last 2 years, lol. It's been a primetime soap opera. My brother works for a global company and cannot believe the shenanigans (legal and illegal) that have gone on in my old company over the years.

I'm trying to be glad that I'm not in that environment anymore. My former coworkers tell me that the new company is not nice to work for. Several people have gone on medication because of the stress. No one's happy. The new company's employees are not friendly at all. They hardly talk to anyone from my old company unless it pertains to work.

I'm so scared of being unemployed. Florida has a high unemployment rate and low unemployment benefits ($275/wk). There are few jobs in my area. There are more jobs in the city but that's over an hour away.

I don't know what to do. I could go back to school to finish my second BA degree - this one in accounting. Or I could move to a different part of the country, which I am open to doing. But I don't want to move unless I have a job there. I have a good skill set but I would still be an hourly employee. Employers generally hire only local employees for "grunt work" which is only what I'm qualified to do at this point.

Sigh. I'm so overwhelmed. At least the med issue has been straightened out now. It's still difficult to focus, stay calm and to relax and enjoy things. I feel like I don't deserve to relax or feel good until I get a job. I hate even buying groceries because it's that much less money I have to live on, hence more pressure to get a job.

Sigh, I know what I need to do, but I'm so unfocused and shaky. I really hate this.

Thanks for reading all the way through this if you made it that far, lol.

[Vossie42]

Holy mackerel, that was a novel!

[StrongerMan]

Hi Vossie42,

Sorry to read about your bad situation. I worked almost 8 years for a company that made it terribly difficult to do my job. I ended up injuring my back on the job and then was terminated after 6 months last July. So much for loyalty. Of course I am grateful to get a workers comp check and the injury is not crippling. It gave me an escape from a toxic job and a chance to seek new opportunities. But after a half hearted job search, I've hit a point where I am just kind of stuck in trying to figure out what direction to go in. I have a 4 year business degree but it never really helped me. I can't do what I did before because the job involved some heavy lifting. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is I know what your going through and there are times when I get down and lose my focus. I am in one of those times now. Trying to get my confidence back and figure out a new career avenue. I just keep telling myself is this happened for a reason and I am where I need to be right now in life. Better times are ahead. Good luck to you.

StrongerMan

[Vossie42]

Escape from a toxic job is right! While not perfect, my old company was like a family - very supportive but also had it's share of minor squabbles amongst employees. Then the company "restructured" a year and a half ago. They cut a 3-person department down to 1 and said it was a 1-person job anyway. That's when the stress reached a surreal level. Fortunately I resumed my accounting classes last fall. Unfortunately I'm nowhere near finished with the degree. At some point I will go to school fulltime to get the degree done otherwise I'll be taking night classes for the next ten years! But I'm not at that point yet. In the meantime, I have to figure something out.

I know what you mean by the half-hearted job search. It's such a kick in the teeth to be let go after so many years for whatever reason. It does a number on your self esteem. Then you have your injury adding making things worse. I don't know about you, but physical pain makes everything much worse for me.

You're right that I'm better off without that job. I certainly look alot better. The bags under my eyes are back to normal size, lol. But you know what really gets me is that they dumped me before I could dump them!

I'm sorry to hear you're having one of your down times. Please take care. You're welcome to write to me privately if you want to vent and rant. We all need that!