[indigo1015]

... I have, sadly, come to the realization that my career dream is not to be fulfilled. This doesn't come as a big surprise, actually - the cards are stacked against me, pardon the cliche. I need three more years of chemistry, a Ph.D, and at least one post-doctorate (two would be better), and after that, the competition for placement in a lab is so severe that I'm just as likely to end up living with my parents as I am now, only with more student loans and a wasted graduate degree (by then, at age 35 or 36). Furthermore, although I love to learn, I hate going to school. Always have, and probably always will. So, the idea of me being in school for 9 or 10 more years, with no guarantee of a position at the end, seems like more of a sentence than something to anticipate. I honestly can't see myself functioning well in that situation for that amount of time, and the pool is so competitive that one slip would be disastrous. Besides, although I don't want to get involved romantically with someone right now, maybe I will in a year or two. Maybe we'll want to start a family. Maybe we'll want to move somewhere else. All that would be difficult if I were a perpetual student. It breaks my heart, because I love the work, and I seem to do it well. If I could just be a scientist for my field now, I would commit myself without hesitation. Unfortunately, degrees are required (never mind that I have YEARS of relevant experience).

I just see no way to make it feasible - knowing the stakes, the time and money involved, my tendencies and my dreams, and the lack of a positive outcome. It's terrible, I have been miserable all weekend, and the internship is going so well. However, I have to think about my future and what will a) make me happy and b) pay the bills. It's odd, but I'm coping a helluva lot better than I would have imagined - PC is really helping, I guess! I guess that is because I know that, now, I can fulfill some other dreams I have - moving West, etc. Who knows where I'll go next in my life, but hopefully, I will be able to come to terms with this and figure it all out. :-/

[roads]

This is a big step. I hope you appreciate what a big step it is.
I just made a huge decision to give up a truck that I love. I did it because the doctors all said that I had to for health reasons--and I knew that the doctors were right.
The are situations are different, but I can still appreciate the amount of consideration that has gone into the decision that you made and how difficult it must be.

Roadie

[Perna]

I would not give up quite yet (unless you want to). Anticipating love, marriage, family, etc. and deciding you would not have money, fame, professional standing; all that is based on what you think you know, your head, not on experience (you could meet a wonderful woman who makes plenty of money and loves what she is doing and could support you to your dream, debt-free :-) I was struck with a point I read, where just because 95% of people die from whatever fatal illness I was reading about, that still means 5% do not and one could be in that 5%, one never knows!

If you like what you are doing, keep doing it. That you have to keep going to school, etc., that's part of the drudgery to be able to do what you enjoy. Every job/calling/etc. has that! No one starts at the top of their game, head of their field, chauffeur-driven car, plane, Nobel prize. It takes 10-20 years to get in position to start that particular climb. I'm 61 and very good at what I do but still have to file the paperwork (which I hate doing) and keep track of the small stuff. I would make a 1 year plan, a 5 year plan, a 10 year plan and build in some path splits (you could become Margaret Thatcher, for example :-)

http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2011...emistry-degree