[justmom]

Along with all my issues (which are many and I'm trying to separate and keep in the proper forums) I have been looking for a job. (out of neccessity - I would rather stay at home!) I have no education past high school (I did graduate but that was 30+ years ago) and little job experience since I considered raising my children to be my job. So - the jobs I have applied for have all been retail and I really didn't expect anything to come of it but I did get calls for two interviews last week. The first interview was AWFUL. I was a blabbering idiot. The second was somewhat better - this was for a stock room position and not direct on the floor sales, something I would probably be better at) Anyway - imagine my shock (and terror) when job #1 called for a second interview. They offered me a job (14-16 hr wk/barely minimum wage). I hadn't heard anything back from job #2 so I took it. Last night - about 5-6 hours later, job #2 called and offered me the position. Not that much difference in pay or # of hours though job #2 would be more hours/fewer days.

I turned down job #2 even though I feel like it would probably have been a better fit for me because I had already accepted the first offer. I felt like I had given my word and I couldn't go back on it. Did I do the right thing? (too late to change it, but I ask the question anyway)

I've gone from being terrified I won't get any job to terrified I'll get fired immediately for inability to do the job.

Sorry to be so long winded.

[pegasus]

Well, congratulations justmom! No need to worry about it too much, I hope you enjoy your new job!

[justmom]

Thanks pegasus.
I wish I could say I am looking forward to it, but I am terrified. I would rather crawl back into my ittle hole and disappear.

[Fresia]

First off, good going on getting 2 job offers! You did really well in the interviews.
Second, congratulations on the new job!!!

You won't know until you getting going in it if it is the right position for you. Don't make any assumptions until you try it. The good news is if the second position was interested, they may very well be interested in the future if this first one does not work out. You can always talk to them again in the future. Give the first one a wholehearted try and go from there. It might surprise you.

Good luck in your new position! (((((((justmom)))))))

[justmom]

I'm trying to have a positive attitude, but with my anxiety and lack of self-esteem, it is hard. If the lack of self-esteem were new, it might be easier to over-come but we are talking about something that is over 40 years of self-doubt.

[Fresia]

(((((justmom))))))))
It can be hard starting back after a long period of time and I do understand it is not easy; the doubts and anxieties can be overwhelming but to some extent know that they are to be expected. Be kind to yourself knowing that with beginning of anything that this will be the case that they will be there. In time you will be able to feel comfortable in the new position as you master the skills it requires and you will master them; you have mastered so many other skills in your lifetime, these are just a couple more. In time, you will no longer be plagued with the doubts and fears as they will go away. They really will.

Being prone to anxiety and doubts myself, I now will focus on each task and one at a time, because if I start thinking about too much about what is required of me, the anxiety builds more. If I can do what I need to do in the moment, the anxiety and doubts seem to be lessen or disappear. Deep breaths also help if I begin to get anxious or concerned as to how things are going. It is always good to ask questions too to help get the information you need or if in doubt, which will help tremendously with confidence as well in the position.

You have already mastered the first steps in getting out there: applying, interviewing, and accepting an offer. These many times can be considered the hardest part of the process and you have done so well! I think of the next part of starting the job as my new "to-do list", just like I would have at home, what do I need to be doing and how can I get it done(?). The same process you are already doing now but now will get paid for it. You can do it! Take good care of yourself, hang in there, and good luck!

[Perna]

I had that happen when I took a test for a job someone was "holding" for me and then two other agencies called and wanted me. No one had told me that could happen and I had not imagined it.

I would make myself a little story; decide to work at this job for 6 months for the experience and then re-evaluate what you want to do? If you can't get the job to work, interview again for a stockroom position or something else where you have picked up some skills along the way (you might be great at customer service and decide to be a receptionist, for example, or for a large store like Home Depot, Staples, or Best Buy or maybe you are good on the cash register and decide to work in the credit or "money" portion of a large department store like Macy's).

Make a little plan of what you want to learn, do, how you would like it to play out and then work in that direction. Having a plan of your own makes work more "normal" and feel more in your control and is a bit more interesting because you aren't just at the mercy of what's "out there" but are looking for specific next steps that you want for yourself.

This book was really helpful to me in my work life: http://wishcraft.com/

[justmom]

Originally Posted by Perna

I had that happen when I took a test for a job someone was "holding" for me and then two other agencies called and wanted me. No one had told me that could happen and I had not imagined it.

I would make myself a little story; decide to work at this job for 6 months for the experience and then re-evaluate what you want to do? If you can't get the job to work, interview again for a stockroom position or something else where you have picked up some skills along the way (you might be great at customer service and decide to be a receptionist, for example, or for a large store like Home Depot, Staples, or Best Buy or maybe you are good on the cash register and decide to work in the credit or "money" portion of a large department store like Macy's).

Make a little plan of what you want to learn, do, how you would like it to play out and then work in that direction. Having a plan of your own makes work more "normal" and feel more in your control and is a bit more interesting because you aren't just at the mercy of what's "out there" but are looking for specific next steps that you want for yourself.

This book was really helpful to me in my work life: http://wishcraft.com/

Thank-you. While I 'understand' what you are saying, my brain can only think that I would rather face a firing squad than walk into that store tomorrow.

[pegasus]

Hugs! You are going to be just fine. Everyone feels nervous before starting a new job and your employer will know this. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you, you can do it!

[Perna]

It use to take me six months to get use to a new job! What was worse, is for the last 2-3 (clerical jobs sitting at a computer) I almost immediately got a stiff neck from the stress and it would last a couple weeks and never made the new job easier!

[justmom]

oh my - I don't know that they will give me 6 months! I'm working retail and holiday season isn't that far off! Oh my!

[gma45]

You will be fine. It takes me a while to get in the groove of a new job, but once I do I am there for the long haul! Sounds like you did very good in your interviews to get two job offers is wonderful!

[justmom]

thanks, gma. I really hope it gets easier. The people are really nice, I just feel so out of place - I should be used to that by now since I've had nearly 50 years of practice, but it doesn't make it any easier!

[Perna]

Originally Posted by justmom

oh my - I don't know that they will give me 6 months!

You won't need 6 months, I'm very very scared starting new jobs and did fine so you will probably do finer than I did.

[justmom]

apparently not.