sooo till today i refused like 7 job opportunities i got. i go to interview they like me (they think im confident but im just really not worried about the outcome) and eventually they tell me i got the job. and this is the part i invent some excuse or simply dont call them back saying they can count on me... yeah giving the economy is pretty dumb of me to act like this but i cant help it. the moment i apply for a job i start doubting if i will be able to actually do it.. anyone does this????

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by un_important

sooo till today i refused like 7 job opportunities i got. i go to interview they like me (they think im confident but im just really not worried about the outcome) and eventually they tell me i got the job. and this is the part i invent some excuse or simply dont call them back saying they can count on me... yeah giving the economy is pretty dumb of me to act like this but i cant help it. the moment i apply for a job i start doubting if i will be able to actually do it.. anyone does this????

No. I've never done that. I have had to support myself with no expectation of help from anyone else so I would never even think of doing this.

Originally Posted by IceCreamKid

No. I've never done that. I have had to support myself with no expectation of help from anyone else so I would never even think of doing this.

yep. but dunno if i actually had to do it i wouldnt think the same way. i actually need money but i pretty much think i suck at anything really. ty for reply though.

[carrie_ann]

i don't understand why you apply for jobs you know you won't take? i know you think you suck at anything but an employer wouldn't offer you a job they didn't think you could handle.

Originally Posted by carrie_ann

i don't understand why you apply for jobs you know you won't take? i know you think you suck at anything but an employer wouldn't offer you a job they didn't think you could handle.

i dont know i wont take. im trying to get a job but i just cant.. employer reads my resume dont actually evaluates my skills...

[CastlesInTheAir]

I think....you should stop doing that and pretend you actually think you can do the job

Originally Posted by triciadrich

I think....you should stop doing that and pretend you actually think you can do the job

dunno what u meant but obviously i dont do this for fun and asking to just stop is same as me telling u stop being depressed.

[CastlesInTheAir]

I know it was more of a joke than a me telling you....that's what I hate about text you can't hear the context....;-) I actually bypass applying for some jobs because of that same notion....

And now I'm in your boat as i am newly unemployed

[cocoabeans]

I've denied job offers. It is really easy to get a job offer when you're not that sure you want the job to begin with. That's probably one factor in why it is easier to find a job when you already have a job, you're more relaxed about the whole thing.

By the way, the economy isn't that bad anymore. People are still complaining, out of habit.

[eskielover]

By the way, the economy isn't that bad anymore. People are still complaining, out of habit.

Don't know what world you are living in, but things haven't change with the economy I'm living in. People are still complaining because there is still a serious problem that isn't getting better IMO based on the statistics I view.

Unemployment may be showing up less because of where they take the unemployment statistics from....people receiving unemployment....not from the actual number of people who are unemployed & looking for employment. As soon as a person's unemployment benefits run out, they are dumped off the number's list of the unemployed even though they don't have a job yet.

As for declining a job offer, I only did it once. I was in the middle of burn-out. I had been working long hours in the job I had, I had moved into a new house & had major knee reconstruction along with PT 3 days a week. The contract I was working on was cancelled by the Air Force & we were all let go from the company. I went out looking for a new job immediately, but was so exhausted, when I got the job offer, I ended up turning it down because I needed more re-cooperation time. They told me to call them back when I was ready to start working....another job I had applied for ended up being the one I finally took.

I was a firmware design engineer doing the programming of hardware for military systems in the aerospace industry. There were some areas I was stronger in than others & some areas, I couldn't do at all like programming ballistics calculations. I had a pretty good sense of what I could & couldn't do after a few years working in the industry so I knew what to apply for & what not to.

At the end of my career, there were no openings at the time in the technical area I knew...I decided to try another area....hated it even though I did a good job....I ended up trapped & I lost it. I didn't like what I was doing & hated that I could fake what I didn't know into a presentation for a national seminar that was accepted for presentation. This all hit before Christmas vacation. I felt so sick I couldn't go back to work after the first of the year. When I did go back, I was useless, then the 1994 Northridge earthquake hit, the freeway I drove on collapsed & there was no way to get to work so I had even more time off.....then 6 hours drive each way too & from work I lost it even more & went out of medical leave....never to go back. I never bothered applying for jobs after that because I knew that my anxiety was too high to ever be able to focus on any kind of job equal to what I had been doing....then depression set in realizing this was real....I would never be able to function the way I had before & at the same time the aerospace industry collapsed in California. Ended up on disability & didn't have to continue worrying about having to find a job again that I could do.

Don't know if your turning down the jobs is out of your own insecurities, or whether you are applying for jobs that are out of your ability & you are truly incapable of performing the required tasks.

Would strongly suggest that you work on your self-confidence if the first is your issue, or search for jobs that are within your abilities if the latter is the case. You know your skills, don't apply for jobs that don't match those abilities. You are the one applying for them. They can't usally tell your skills or have a way to test them other than believing what you tell them. That's usually what the probationary period is for on a new job, to tell whether you are truly compatible or not.

[Perna]

I think it is much harder when we are young and new to the job situation versus school, etc.; I know I had a really hard time when I graduated college even going out to apply for jobs because I felt like I couldn't do them. My first job, at Sears, I got put in a department I was not suited for and did poorly (had to call people and give them bad news, tell them why they had been refused for a credit card!) and was moved to an even harder one (customer service!) but struggled through and moved along in jobs.

It takes time and practice and you cannot get started unless you get started :-) I would take one of the jobs and try it; if it does not work out, both you and the company will know and you can try a different kind of job. That's the only way to find where you will fit. Imagining you will or will not is imagining things will change without you actively doing anything. You cannot do it on your imagination alone. If you are not careful you can run into yourself, having already applied to most of the places you feel okay applying to! I did that with volunteer opportunities.

I understand it is hard and you are afraid, make a plan for what to do with the money, saving for a car or an apartment, school, etc. and concentrate on that rather than the scary parts of starting a new job.

Do a time line where you accept a job and try it for 2 weeks or a month and then allow yourself to quit if it is too much for you. I had trouble starting or quitting jobs so for 5-6 years in the mid-90's that's all I did; accept and work part-time jobs for temporary periods of time, "practicing" getting comfortable starting and quitting jobs.

One thing I used successfully was having a friend working at a big company and helping me get a job there. You have any working friends/relatives who can get you a job in their company?

hi. thanks all for input.
there is alooooott of **** wrong with me.... i have a degree and all jobs i refused was on it. i only feel prepared to do 2 things but i cant do any. anyway im quite a mess end of story. tc

Originally Posted by un_important

hi. thanks all for input.
there is alooooott of **** wrong with me.... i have a degree and all jobs i refused was on it. i only feel prepared to do 2 things but i cant do any. anyway im quite a mess end of story. tc

I can totally understand refusing a job offer when you are super depressed. It's important that you find a T or get to a T and start getting feelings/thoughts/etc. out so you can feel better.

I've never done it. After I was laid off, and before this (great) job, I actually took a position in an industry that I was completely unprepared for, in a location that is one of the most dangerous in LA. It didn't turn out well. At all. But I tried. I actually left that job more miserable than when I started it (if that is at all possible).

That is why I highly understand and recommend talking with a T. so you can start building yourself up again, so you will be able to take a job in your industry (or not) and manage while working on healing yourself.

Also, keep posting and reaching out here!

hi. yeah but without job no therapist and vice-versa. so im practically stuck now.

Originally Posted by un_important

hi. yeah but without job no therapist and vice-versa. so im practically stuck now.

Sorry, not sure where you live, but there are social services resources, almost everywhere, that are based on a sliding scale (no fee to very low cost).

Also, I do not know exactly what you are struggling with but I can also tell you that there are many resources through the gov. You DO NOT have to suffer and you are not alone.

If you'd like feel free to PM me

this time im not even going to the interview. im just a ****ing idiot.

[thickntired]

Originally Posted by un_important

this time im not even going to the interview. im just a ****ing idiot.

After I was laid off I had SERIOUS reservations about being able to perform at any job. I don't have any advice, but I've been there and it suxs!

Peace,

TnT

[CastlesInTheAir]

Yeah I'm with u I felt like passing out just turning applications in today

[roseamoo]

It might help you a bit to remind yourself if they hire you and you don't know how to do something, they will more than likely train/ teach you. Good luck though!

[harleychic]

All these offers and you blow them all off? If you have such a "I don't care" attitude when going on the interview; why not start the job with a "I don't care if I might fail" attitude? Some of us out here are unemployed and just a step away from losing everything and would love to have the offers you have gotten. I hope the day never comes when you really do need that job and those offers dry up. Take a chance, at least you tried.

[equive]

I knew a girl who would do this and it was a big part of her Bipolar illness. She would have manic episodes where she would think she could go all of these jobs, and would apply for a whole bunch of them, and by the time she had gone through the interview processes and everything else that happens prior to getting hired, she would have cycled into a depressive episode. She'd turn down the job offers, neglect to return phone calls, or show up to the job a couple of times before finding herself unable to do it.

I would really advise you to find a sliding scale therapist (if you cannot afford one or don't have private/public insurance) and discuss these issues with them. Getting a job actually would be beneficial for this, because you might get health insurance coverage with a job, and then you could seek better care for your mental illness. I think a lot of times people say they "don't care" about things when really they are afraid and don't want to admit it.

Maybe you could try making a list of the job offers you have gotten. Then write down the reasons you applied for those jobs in the first place - what made you think you wanted those jobs? And then write down the reasons you decided not to accept the positions. I think that would be a really interesting list to look at and could help you figure out if you are just applying for jobs you don't really actually want, if you are afraid of something about the jobs you are getting offered, or if there is something else going on, why you are choosing not to accept the jobs.

Let us know if your situation improves and good luck.