Romantic Relationship with a Coworker

hey PC Pals.

I would just like some stories on dating within the workplace. I am interested in a coworker but it's awkward because neither one of us wants our jobs affected. He is in a different department than me and I don't need to see him in order to get my job done which is good . We are on different floors. However my coworkers know that we both have an interest in each other. But I don't know if it is a risk because we work for the same company. Now its may be important to know that I just had a harsh breakup a little over two months ago. The relationship was about 5 years on and off. It feels good to be wanted again but I don't want to risk it with a coworker but yet can I just have fun with this guy? Any thoughts?

If you are in the US, get the employee guidebook/rulebook/ whatever it is called and read the policy for your specific company. If the company is reasonable, your situation should not pose any concerns. If the company is unreasonable and overly concerned with its liability, they may have silly rules that you need to follow in order to keep the job. Find out. Email HR to get the guidebook, or look up on the intranet if you have it.

Also read this: http://forums.psychcentral.com/showp...32&postcount=4 as it contains two examples from two different workplace settings: technology and law.

No... it's been known that workplace relationships are not a good idea.

Yes it's true you start to get feelings for people you see regularly... like the workplace it's natural.

When it comes to work, keep everything, even relationships, professional

I know there are those few exceptions. etc etc... but ultimately it's your decision to make

it is called the Employee Handbook.

Since neither you manage him nor he manages you, you should be fine to go ahead, in principle, but check the handbook for the specific policy promulgated by your particular employer.

I married my one-time boss. I don't believe it is ever easy having a coworker relationship, it can be awkward with bosses and coworkers, etc. knowing and watching at company parties, etc. Everyone will have their opinion and probably be over anxious to share it with you whether you want to know or not.

Not all companies cover relationships in their employee handbook, ours did not have anything about relationships at all. I had a good friend though and her husband, who had been a high up executive, was fired for dating her when she worked for the company. Depends on if your company likes playing moral games, etc.

I had a hard time of it as some of my coworkers were against my dating our boss, etc. and his status was higher than mine so I had to go to higher status parties where I felt awkward, etc. I would look around, if it is a fair-sized company, and see if I could find any "examples" in the past or present and talk to those people to see how it goes and if it is worth it in your situation.

Agreed, companies of smaller size may not have the employee handbook available. Bigger companies all should.

A romantic relationship with a coworker 32 years ago probably has a lot to do with my unstable state today. I believe it messed up my life forever. Don't recommend it.

If there is no handbook or if the handbook contains no answer, convert OP into. An. Email to HR. That would get you the answer in writing.

I wouldn't recommend it whether your employers allows it or not. I don't think it's professional for coworkers to date but you know that's just me - there are always exceptions. If you do go through with it then you have to be cautious, sensible and professional - you don't want rumors flying around, or your workload being affected and awkwardness between peers etc. You get the drift

If you don't work in the same dept. and can get your jobs done no matter what happens, I see no issue with it...but do check your employee handbook, if there is one.
The concern is usually "the boss," aka upper management, dating someone they supervise. I dated two different people I worked with at my last job and 1 at the job before that. The two at the last job...we worked in the same dept, one sat NEXT to me...let's just say I asked to move when that ended...but only because he wouldn't leave me alone. But even now I don't regret it. He was hurt that I ended it and he still liked me; it was just awkward.
The other guy I dated at my last job was a supervisor and is now just a good friend. And although it didn't work out (in that case, I was the one hurt who had to get over it), I gained a great friend from it. And yes, we kept our dating at the time a secret...it was easy though, since he was so quiet; no one knew. The ex from the other job also became a friend.
So if you approach this realistically and are aware of the company guidelines (or, if there are none), you have little to lose, and so few relationships actually work out (plus it's so hard to meet guys these days unless you want to do the bar scene, ugh), who knows, why not give it a try! I wish you the best of luck!

I make it a firm policy, no dating people from work. Perhaps I could have married at least one of them. All were attractive in their own way and one was very attractive between their ears. These people were serious about getting married and having a family, but working at the same place after an argument at home is not good. Anyhow, I doubt I regretted it because there was less stress.

It depends on each other's boundaries being set firmly with this guy and the assurance no future fallout from the relationship being severed. After all, this no need for a toxic workplace from office gossip. Think about this can either of you handle that? I just don' t want a risk of either of you having problems at work from participating in this type of activity and gossip that likely to follow.