[Dontfeellikeme]

Hi there. I haven't posted anywhere for a long while so hope you guys don't mind. Long story I'm afraid. I have been employed as a staff nurse for five years since graduating. I am 27 yrs old. The past three years I have had real lows i guess that have required extended time off work. Through repetition of this situation I have realised through conversations with my partner and care team working nightshifts has a real impact on my symptoms. I become unable to sleep for days, and wierd stuff happens. I can't stop my skin crawling and hear voices in in things like the kettle or radiator. I have seen occ health numerous times and the always agree I should not be working nights for this reason. My employer is refusing to excuse me doing nights despite advice from my consultant, gp, union, occ health. This has been a persistent repeatative cycle with problems flaring up every six months. I finally put in a formal grievance as they are forcing me to do something that makes me unwell. I had a meeting today with my manager today. My union rep came with me. My manager was rude, interrupting, and hostile with Inability to let me speak without cutting in. He accused me of being a liar. My union rep had to stop the meeting as a result of his behaviour.
Im now terrified. Its bad enough having to accept that there are some things I to be careful about and I want to stay well enough to be in work. I am aware that each time things get bad it creates more problems.
I have tried to do some nights with real difficulty, but I have tried. I am looking for other work, although my employer is making cuts at the moment so stuck.
My union rep is now making a formal complaint about my manager. I don't think I can face going in tomorrow. I was given silent treatment all day long yesterday. Thanks guys

[healingme4me]

Sorry to read you are going through this. Exhaustion can wreak havoc on the system. Have you seen a doctor about this, perhaps a neurologist? The auditory things you are hearing, can have a physical explanation, located somewhere in your brain. And with something like that, in your medical files, it will be much easier to prove you aren't lying to your employer.
Keep going in! As hard as it is, that's the only way to grieve, as a union employee. Glad you have a rep behind you!!

Hang in there, and keep us posted.

[Dontfeellikeme]

I am so scared to go into work tomorrow

[Dontfeellikeme]

Thanks for your response healing. I have indeed seen neurologist as have experienced one or two seizures at one point. Had MRIs and EEGs which could find nothing. Today anxiety surrounding this situation is eating me up. I need advice on how to manage a 13 hour day at work. I'm really freaked. The urge to just shut off from everything is overpowering. My T said maybe I shouldn't go in. I think that could just make things worse though. If only I could find a way to be able to manage a nightshift? Really cannot see what else to try. Maybe I just hand in my notice? But then what? Job situation is dire right now and I'm so burnt out I think an interview would be so difficult.

[healingme4me]

If you have had seizures in the past, that seems like something to me. 13 hours is a long time to work. Do you have any vacation time coming, to unwind and use that time for interviewing, elsewhere?