[love2dance]

I know this is super long.. but please, for my sanity, I really need some help!! :-(( :-(( I appreciate any advice/assistance in advance.. Thank you !! Also, PLEASE excuse my cursing .. I tried to censor it but I am just suffering SO much mentally, and this stress is seriously taking a toll on my personal life and I cannot stop ruminating over it.. Please help me!

My coworker does the following things and I am seriously feeling like I cannot be around her without getting SOOOOOO angry at her (read on and you'll see what I mean) bc NOTHING is being done to REPRIMAND HER.. I'll just worthless POS, Jen. I desperately need to keep my sanity! Please please help me! I cannot stop obsessing about how much I hate her and this definitely is crossing over to my personal life :-( I work in a very small office (she sits right behind me, great huh, and I am the receptionist) and so everything I do is monitered by HER and others who walk past me ALL the time (while hers isn't). Yes, I am semi-jealous because I actually WORK HARD and she slacks off majorly AND is able to do her work (but the other BS/slacking/see below crap she pulls drives me INSANE!!) She and I go in and out of hating each other but it seems as though she always has the upper hand in most situations and I feel HELPLESS.. I really need some help on how to handle this b.itch!! I sometimes ignore her and other times I talk to her to be nice cause I need to be. I really need some stability though and I have SUCH a difficult time killing her with kindness cause I feel SO transparent cause my facial reactions are very expressive ( Please help me..

These are the reasons why I cannot stand Jen and I hope she gets mauled by a pack of ferocious rottweilers and pitbulls (lol):

1) Jen is pregnant so uses her pregnant ****ing *** as a reason to always go to doctor appointments I mean, A LOT... she has NO shame that she's taing advantage of my office's laid back atmosphere (see below how else she takes advantage), she just so happens to schedule them at 3:40 PM every Wednesday.. She didn't used to do this when she first started. She would always come back to the office when she first started.. She has been working here now for 8 months or so does WHATEVER SHE WANTS TO with NO reprimand!! She is also VERY ENTITLED, CONDESCENDING, ARROGANT, VERY CONCEITED, AND CHARMING (she is a charming, lying, and MANIPULATIVE person!!).

2) She is supposed to come right back after going to the bank but doesn't and sometimes just goes home after going there bc of "traffic" (girl it really is NOT far at all!!). There is still 2 hours left of work and she always blames it on "something else" and lies. Nothing is EVER her fault!!

3) I heard her IM's going off and confronted her nicely about it and she said that it was her cell phone (we are allowed to text during the day all day if we want to since there is little to no supervision at all), but I asked her, no, what is the other noise and she said she was chatting with her mom. I told my boss 2 (the boss she and I both report to) about this and she said 'she would monitor it' but Jen STILL does it (she just turned off the IM sounds now, ha! but it doesn't help that my boss 2 is so concerned about JEN liking her (she is very arrogant and very charming, so people want them to like her). Boss 1 and Jen are very tight and Boss 1 even texts Jen very personal stuff of course and ugh.. that's another topic in itself. Next point.

4) Omg.. Jen and Boss1 (both VERY arrogant pieces of shits) talk about ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING INAPPROPRIATE.. from "lingerie (they are both ****ing NASTY!!! Boss1 is 450 Lbs and horrifyingly ugly) and Jen has a wrinkly *** dogface).. they talked about all the guys they ****ed, how Jen met a guy at the airport and had sex w/him in the bathroom, ... they talk about ALL topics you could think of, and then some!!... I used to make up **** too bc before when I'd be quiet, they would feel weird around me so I'd just make up ********. and btw.. before Jen started at my job, I mistakenly told Boss1 that I had social problems and an alcohol issue and I KNOW for a 100% factthat Boss1 told everyone else in the company (idk if she told Jen) but anyway, Boss2 had made digs at me about "my drinking problem" even though I didn't even tell Boss2.. ****ing c****. So now I don't trust Boss1, Boss2, and esp not JEN!! (Boss1 and Jen text each other in the mornings, spend 1+ hours chatting about non-work ********, etc). I honestly do not even try because I've always hated Boss1's personality (very negative and has a major power trip around EVERYONE cause she's 450 Lbs and miserable!!)


5) Jen "pretends" that when I go and get my docs from the printer that she's doing work and in the past, I used to pop up by her desk and she would minimize all of her screens SO fast.. I stopped trying to "catch her in the act" bc I realized that only made ME more pissed off. I tell myself that I know what she's doing and that she's just clicking away. I also told my boss about all her click click clicking when I walk by her but my boss seems so non-threatening to this narcissistic *****. Again, JEN thinks she is God's gift to the world!!!

6) Jen accepts NO responsbility for **** and she brags A LOT about herself, her husband, herself again.. constantly!! So does Boss1!! She and my boss are extremely close (my boss also has narcissistic personality disorder) and they constantly talk about personal **** and on several occasions talked about their sex lives, ,and how she cheated on her ex with her current husband (*****) ..


7) For a pregnant woman, she dresses like an absolute ****ing ***** to work even though she is 8 months pregnant.. her tits are hanging out, she wears TIGHT clothnig, and she think she is hot ****ing *****. I'm sorry but I absolutely know she is a reformed slut and all.. but I am just so disgusted seeing her nastiness when she should be dressing APPROPRIATELY to work AND doing her ****ing work not kissing the bosses' *** and chatting all damned day, leaving work early to go to "doctor appts", leaving work early after the bank bc of "this or that reason". I know it's not my business to tell her what to wear, but it is mainly all the other **** that drives me batshit crazy and she is PREGNANT and should dress like a lady, not the 2 cent ***** that she is!!

8) One of my BIGGEST pet peeves (I mentioned this brifely above, but it is what REALLY gets me so pissed off) about this sorry piece of a human being, is the fact that she ****ing sits RIGHT behind me so while she surfs the web all day, she is overlooking my screen and she also has access to our printer that we share (mine broke cause it was old), so I have to go by her desk almost every fricking day. She is n VERY close proximity to me and there is no wall separating us whatsoever. What is VERY VERY annoying to me is the fact that she turned her computer screen all the way to the right so that only she could see it, and she put folders next to her screen so that no one (aka ME) could see her screen. I can't tell you HOW annoying this all is. I work extremely hard and it is NOT fair that she is a file *****, she is pregnant and uses it to her advantage, is the boss' favorite because they used to attend the same college/lived in the same state, and sheis a piece of **** condescending and arrogant **** and it is SUCH a struggle to be around her without feeling like I am actually a great worker (she does her work too but who the HELL does SHE think SHE IS ?!!!) THIS IS NOT FAIR and my management are incompetent and enabling assholes. The good news is that I'm moving out of state in Sept.

Question: How should I behave around this little witch? Kill her with kindness (I am SO expressive in my facial reactions so easier said than done)? I cannot completely ignore her as she is SO close to me. I usually put my earbud in one ear while having the other ear open to phone calls/other things around.

Also, she is due with a devil child in July and I have not yet told my bosses that I'll be leaving in Sept. Should I tell them BEFORE when she leaves for maternity on July 20th? OR should I tell them AFTER she leaves (I don't wana screw the company over even though I hate these people BUT I don't want her to have that power and happiness that I'll be leaving and she will not have to see me when she comes back from maternity leave in 3 months (she'll be back in Sept or Oct and I'll be leaving in Sept).

She will more than likely be covering my duties as she is trained on the majority of the things I've done. Oh and also, when I went on vacation, I purposely didn't teach her how to do billing bc it's complicated (I created the system plus my boss said NOT to teach her bc of that reason), but she "took the initiative" to do it, AND ****ed it up so I had to apologize to our biggest clients bc she did it wrong and sent them the handwritten unprofessional copy (she is a "know-it-****ing all). This girl thinks she is the hottest ***** on earth!! Please help me!! Any stories/info/advice is greatly appreciated!!

PS. I am very sorry for all of my curse words.. This is eating me alive and I have been dealing with this ***** for what seems an eternity but it's only been like 8 months or so.

PPS. I actually have confronted her in a nice way in the past about her condescending language (she was HORRIBLY MEAN to me and would actually put me down in front of the bosses UNPROVOKED cause I was SO quiet and shy.. but after I told her off in a nice way, she stopped being a *****.. but NOW she's just taking advantage of the relaxed environment and she is just SUCH a horrible worker/person with NO morals.

Thanks for your help in advance!

[Perna]

It sounds like you are too busy with being involved in what this other person is doing instead of what you want/are doing. If I were so tangled up with this situation, I would change jobs. It does not sound like you respect your bosses or anyone where you work so I have to ask, why work there? What is it you are getting out of staying in that environment and hurting your own health?

Are you in school or working on getting a job where you have more authority and prestige? A receptionist is pretty much low person on the totem pole and pretty much everyone else is going to get paid more and have more privileges, etc. What else are you trying to do with your life besides watch this person who irritates you? Concentrate on that instead of this person.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by love2dance

Please help me!

8) One of my BIGGEST pet peeves
What is VERY VERY annoying to me is the fact that she turned her computer screen all the way to the right so that only she could see it, and she put folders next to her screen so that no one (aka ME) could see her screen. I can't tell you HOW annoying this all is. I work extremely hard and it is NOT fair that she is a file *****,

The good news is that I'm moving out of state in Sept.

Question: How should I behave around this little witch?

Also, she is due with a devil child in July and I have not yet told my bosses that I'll be leaving in Sept. Should I tell them BEFORE when she leaves for maternity on July 20th? OR should I tell them AFTER she leaves
I don't want her to have that power and happiness that I'll be leaving and she will not have to see me when she comes back from maternity leave in 3 months (she'll be back in Sept or Oct and I'll be leaving in Sept).

Please help me!! Any stories/info/advice is greatly appreciated!!

Thanks for your help in advance!

I'd probably remain professional, July 20th isn't that far away. I believe, it's customary to only need to give a 2 Week Notice.
Can you find some temp work between now and September, that would be similar, in pay and position? Maybe, getting away from this environment would be in your best interest. A temp agency can give you a short term position to get you through between now and the time you move out of state.
Sounds very frustrating to work there.

[unaluna]

Oh you sound like me when I was working. Not a good thing! You may want a referral from these people when you leave. It's like my dad used to say - that spider is more afraid of you than you are of it!

When you didn't teach her the new system and customers were affected - that might have looked worse for you than for her. Plus - number one rule - you can't really talk against pregnant people. Maybe men do in private, but nothing is even private anymore - somebody is always recording something. And you would want to take time off too, if your swollen feet eere in her shoes! If you complain about someone else's work hours, that only makes the boss more suspicious of yours. So not a good idea.

Are you living with your parental family? Are they nice to you? I'm asking because I played out my family issues at work and got fired multiple times, aside from always being miserable. I should have listened to my therapists better.

[Silent Void]

Honey, don't apologize. I was happy to listen.

My advice? Smile like you know something she doesn't. It will drive her apesh*t. Don't give notice until two weeks before you plan to leave.