[SeekerOfLife]

Hello everyone. I am fairly new to this forum. Not completely sure how to use it. Through the years I have had big conflicts with coworkers, conflicts so bad I have quit my job (more than one occurance). About three months ago I started a new job. I became a CNA. Right from the start, I was bossed around by the other CNAs. Several of them lied to me to get me in trouble. I was also lied about, and got written up several times for things I did not do. The last night I worked I was falsely accused of doing nothing while my coworker was on break. When I am accused, shouted at, or reprimanded my mind freezes up/goes blank or almost blank. I just can't think. I can't seem to stay calm on the inside (though I remain calm on the outside). I see this as a problem of conflict resolution. I am currently unemployed (seeking work), and I fear what my next job will hold. To add a little more perspective I also have ADD, OCD, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Any comments will be appreciated. (I use the internet at the library, so I will get back to this forum the next time they are open). Please help if you can.

[Perna]

Hi, seekersinking, welcome to PsychCentral (PC). You are using the forums fine it looks like; glad you are here.

Are you working with a therapist for your difficulties? Learning to stand up for yourself so others do not boss and bully you at a job sounds like something you could use. I would also look for a job where you could be more independent (private care of someone in their home?) or I would seek a boss or other coworker who you hit it off with and who is friendly and helpful and see if that can help shield you some from others who might seek to take advantage of you. I would work with a therapist so I am not so afraid of anger (being accused, shouted at, or reprimanded) and tell when I am in an abusive situation and how to respond.

[cool09]

If work was just about work it would be easy. But it's not. It's all about getting along with other people. People make "work" difficult for you not the work itself. When I went into engineering I expected the work to be the most difficult challenge but the co-employees were harder. Especially if they don't understand you - then you're doomed. My manic-depression dug me a hole so deep at work I had to bail out to save my life. It's all about conforming.

When you find work and this comes up again take a leave of absence to see if you can get help. If you're not better after 6 weeks take an extended leave of absence. That's what I did several times (and multiple hospitalizations) when I worked for State of NJ. I ended up resigning and going on disability but at least I was offered health insurance thru my ex-employer.

Mood disorders can extremely drain you and interfere with work and personal life. It's terrible.

[H3rmit]

Originally Posted by seekersinking

Through the years I have had big conflicts with coworkers, conflicts so bad I have quit my job (more than one occurance). About three months ago I started a new job. I became a CNA. Right from the start, I was bossed around by the other CNAs. Several of them lied to me to get me in trouble. I was also lied about, and got written up several times for things I did not do. The last night I worked I was falsely accused of doing nothing while my coworker was on break. When I am accused, shouted at, or reprimanded my mind freezes up/goes blank or almost blank. I just can't think. I can't seem to stay calm on the inside (though I remain calm on the outside).

Part of the problem is your coworkers or bosses should not behave the way they do. When someone yells at you, you can tell them calmly but very firmly to stop yelling at you. When they stop, and ideally apologize for being jerks, you can gather your wits and start from a reasonable level of discussion. You can do it, though not everyone cooperates. Don't work with jerks if you can avoid it. Seek reasonable people. There is quite a range out there!

[yellowfrog268]

Originally Posted by seekersinking

Hello everyone. I am fairly new to this forum. Not completely sure how to use it. Through the years I have had big conflicts with coworkers, conflicts so bad I have quit my job (more than one occurance). About three months ago I started a new job. I became a CNA. Right from the start, I was bossed around by the other CNAs. Several of them lied to me to get me in trouble. I was also lied about, and got written up several times for things I did not do. The last night I worked I was falsely accused of doing nothing while my coworker was on break. When I am accused, shouted at, or reprimanded my mind freezes up/goes blank or almost blank. I just can't think. I can't seem to stay calm on the inside (though I remain calm on the outside). I see this as a problem of conflict resolution. I am currently unemployed (seeking work), and I fear what my next job will hold. To add a little more perspective I also have ADD, OCD, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Any comments will be appreciated. (I use the internet at the library, so I will get back to this forum the next time they are open). Please help if you can.

seersinking,

I am a lot like you in that I too have ADD and anxiety along with low self esteem and yes I've had many conflicts with co-workers over the years.
On my last job I had to share an office with a co-worker who would undercut my efforts at work every chance she got. It was pure hell.
The only suggestions I can give you are:

1. Try either self employment or working from home. It has given me the freedom that I need to avoid co-worker BS. There is a site called flexjobs.com that offers a lot of opportunities.

2.If you have your CNA why not do home health care?

3. Job that involves driving like a courier.

4. Pet sitting or dog walking. I knew someone who grew this idea into a business. She had no fewer than five clients everyday and was growing her business.

Hope this helps