[momma1014]

I've been off work for a month due to hospitalization for depression. I am so scared to return. Sometimes I think I am ready and sometimes I don't. I was in an abusive relationship 3 years ago. Everyday on my way to work I have to drive past my ex-husband's house. He also assualted me at my work. Basically, everyday my PTSD is triggered by this. I am a teacher and am on contract until May, but I really wish I could afford to quit! I really wish I could just have some more time to just focus on myself and getting better. Any advice or encouragement? Please?? Really struggling with this

[vans1974]

Just now you can do it, and everything will be okay! If worst comes to worst, I know a lot of people who are benefiting from social security disability due to depression. Hang in there and just try to take it one step at a time! You'll do great and hope that helps a bit!!

Good luck, mama1014. I know the feeling of being afraid to work because of depression. I'm facing the same fears myself.

[winter4me]

There must be another route to work, even if longer, to avoid the one trigger.
It is scary to return, but it was brave of you to take the time you needed to get the help you needed. I hope, when you return, it becomes a positive for you---that you will be able to move on, to grow, even thrive...hang in there. You are a strong one.

[momma1014]

There is, but I already drive 45 minutes to work, and the only other way would add another 30 minutes. I honestly would prefer to do that, but I don't have time or gas to do that. Thank you all for your kind words!! <3

[Onyx999]

I'm so sorry. Try to stay strong and focus on work. Hopefully these feelings will begin to fade as you concentrate on other things. :thumbup:

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[SadPam]

You can do this! Take it a step at a time, minute by minute if you have to, reminding yourself often that you are a wonderful woman who is loved. Everything will be OK; your students will undoubtedly be delighted you're back and, in time, you'll be delighted you have your life back.

I myself went back to work a couple of weeks ago and was nervous as well, but most people were glad to see me again. I pray your experience is similar!

Let us know how it goes.

[winter4me]

Hang in There!!!! You have been through worse. Much worse.

Goodluck to you! It is daunting to go back to work after illness, let alone the other things you need to deal with. Once you get back into the swing of things it may become easier. I'll be wishing you well

[momma1014]

Well, I did go back. Worked Monday and Tuesday. Now I am off again. Feel like I was completely not ready. Felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin. Cried so hard my 2nd grade students thought my mom died! Do not feel like myself at all! Frustrated!!

[Rzay4]

Uh oh I'm sorry to hear its been a bumpy start. Hopefully next week is better. Hugs

[winter4me]

Could you pretend you are an actor, and the role you are currently playing is teacher"? I know this sounds weird, and it is a way of detaching your self from the work, there are times I use this "method" for work, and I tend to do a really good job because, in some sense I am being "watched" but not in a negative way. It is just myself, writer, editor, film maker...in my head. It doesn't take up much space. I "become" the nurse. And, after a while, it is me after all.

[momma1014]

Originally Posted by winter4me

Could you pretend you are an actor, and the role you are currently playing is teacher"? I know this sounds weird, and it is a way of detaching your self from the work, there are times I use this "method" for work, and I tend to do a really good job because, in some sense I am being "watched" but not in a negative way. It is just myself, writer, editor, film maker...in my head. It doesn't take up much space. I "become" the nurse. And, after a while, it is me after all.

That is a GREAT idea!!!

[happywoman]

Originally Posted by momma1014

Well, I did go back. Worked Monday and Tuesday. Now I am off again. Feel like I was completely not ready. Felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin. Cried so hard my 2nd grade students thought my mom died! Do not feel like myself at all! Frustrated!!

After hospitalization and a couple weeks of sick leave. I used some annual leave from memory or maybe leave without pay and returned the first couple of weeks working 2-3 split days usually work 5.
I negotiated this by email prior to my return without disclosing nature of illness. The first couple of weeks I did office work and e learning before resuming face to face clinical work.
I was feeling anxious about face to face .not feeling confident. My boss was supportive. Some of my colleagues were , some weren't ( didn't let worry me though) . In hindsight I felt like you , not ready , frustrated by had to return to provide for family. It took me a while to feel confident with help from support network- friends and family and pdoc, therapist.

You'll get there. It's early days. Make sure you take care of yourself. Self nurture !

[IndieVisible]

Is this your first time? The first time is always the hardest because you feel so safe and secure and protected in the hospital. Being discharged is sad, you don't want to leave, you made friends, had no worries. It was hard for me too my first time. But you will be fine. It really is like first getting in the pool, once you get use to it your swimming around like you always did! Good Luck!

[momma1014]

Yes, this has been my first time. You are exactly right, was "protected" in the hospital and partial care. Now adjusting back to the real world is tough!

[happywoman]

Yes first time is difficult. 2 steps forward one back and a few sideways plus a retreat here and there
I was describing my 4th job re entry after hospitalisation and with 25 years in my chosen field
Be kind to yourself.