Am I being Oversensitive or do I have a Legitimate Cause?

A co-worker of mine is causing me some issues. If I were to describe him, I would say he is aggressive, rude, and emotionally unstable. Whenever something doesn’t go as he likes it he will curse more times than I have ever heard someone curse; he will yell at me, insult me or use condescending language; he will send me insulting or rude texts; and another co-worker informed me to stay away from him one day because he wanted to stab me. (He carries an army knife on him at all times.)

A challenge for me is I find it hard to relax after a hostile encounter with someone. Unlike other co-workers of mine that can brush this kind of behavior off, once I experience that ‘flight or fight’ mode, I find it really difficult to relax afterwards, therefore I have had a lot of stress about work. My therapist says this has to do with having been raised in an extremely violent household.

On Monday he was in my face yelling and cursing at me because I didn’t do something right (he didn’t explain what that was), I said to him, “You better watch your *******ing tone with me,” and he said nothing after that.

I fear this could escalate between us, but am I being over-reactive and sensitive, in which case I should do my best to ignore him, or do I have a legitimate cause to talk to my (and his) superiors about his behavior?

You have a legitimate cause. I got reported for much less than that, and I never cursed anyone, made rude texts, or threatened to stab someone.

It's good that you stood up to him. Keep in mind that he could potentially be violent (which you probably already know), and keep your encounters with him as civil as possible. Don't stoop to his level. What you did was entirely justified, though.

Depending on how your workplace handles things like this, though, it might not be enough to report it. Unfortunately, some workplaces aren't very supportive of their employees. If your workplace is one of those, you should probably seek other options, at least as a back-up plan.

If this man is the only one causing trouble, though, maybe ask some of your other coworkers if they have had trouble with him. If they have, they might want to lodge their complaints as well.

I would file a complaint with HR after the next incident. Document all of the previous incidents with what happened and when they happened and go to HR. This is SO unacceptable, especially for work!

I hate this stuff myself and what is more funny is when I filed the complaint I got fired. The complaint was against my manager and I handed the complaint to his boss.

That's actually a form of harassment. He's verbally abusing/emotionally abusing or bullying you. Address it to HR not your supervisor. HR will keep it confidential and investigate it. Keep all the texts that you've received, document the time, day, events, and witnesses. Act natural when you go to work like nothing happened. Don't be hard on yourself, you're not being overly sensitive because that sounds like serious business. If you don't want to speak to HR, try applying to different areas within the company.

It's hard to ignore that kind of abuse. I know I could not. I am sensitive and I also can't just "brush stuff off." This sounds scary and serious. You should not be threatened this way at work. Document everything including e-mails and texts and take your case to the person in charge or the HR department. No one should have to work day in and day out in that kind of environment. I don't understand why your other co-workers seem to be ignoring this.