Trying to start a new life

Hi,
I'm 45 years old. I was diagnosed with BP at 33 and fibromyalgia at 37. Managing BP is now almost a second nature since I know what to expect and I've found a few ways to avoid major episodes. As for fibro, a new medication seems to be working well since October 2013. I am on disability since 2011. I would love to step back into the work market, because my life is really boring and I feel like it has no purpose. I know that stress flares up the pain whenever it's present. Another issue is air-conditioning. And I don't know if I would tolerate any of the abuse I have endured during my working years. I have a feeling that my patience would not be there anymore if someone would bully me. I am willing to try to get respected in a fashionable manner, but what if... I've been in many jobs where people would take advantage of me. I was really too lenient with others abusing behaviour. In the past, I did not know how to get people to respect my space. That has always been an issue. I've lost all my confidence and I just don't know anymore what I could be good at doing. I feel like my habilities are all gone, like if my brain can't function as efficiently as before. Another serious concern is that if I leave that disability status for a job, I can't go back if it doesn't work. The work market is highly competitve and most jobs mention that the candidate must be able to cope with an environment with stress. Where can I fit? How to explain that I have been away from the job market for a few years? I just don't know anymore.

Hello Quebec: Okay, well... back when I was still a real person, I was a vocational rehabilitation counselor. So this is sort-of up my alley. First of all, your concern with regard to your disability status is a real one. Did you have an attorney during the application / certification process? If so, I would discuss this with that person. If not, then you might consider consulting another attorney who specializes in disability benefits. Chances are you can work up to a certain number of hours for a certain period of time before you'd lose your benefits. But don't go into this on supposition. Get the facts from someone who knows.

It is certainly understandable that you are uncertain with regard to what type of job you would want & what you could tolerate. My first suggestion would be to do some volunteer work. Perhaps start out with one thing, maybe 10 or 12 hours a week. See how it goes. Once you get comfortable, you could consider adding a second volunteer job for a similar number of hours per week. Or, if things are going well, perhaps you could, at that point consider a part-time job. The key here is to ease into this. Try a few different things a few hours per week. Get to know today's job market. It is different than it used to be. Look around at the various types of jobs people are doing & think about how you might fit in doing that type of work. Talk with different people you meet about the types of jobs they do & what they like & don't like about them.

I haven't looked, but I would guess there are some on-line job-preferences tests you could take for free that might begin to give you an idea of what you'd like to do. If you live close to a major metropolitan area (Quebec?) there are, no doubt, vocational counseling services available. Some may be available at little or no cost to individuals who are low income. There may also be some government-funded vocational rehabilitation services that would be available to you since you're on disability. I'd be a bit cautious about this, though. These people are charged with getting individuals who are not employed & on disability off of the disability rolls. This may, in fact, be your ultimate goal. But it may not be what you're ready for quite yet. Presumably there is also some type of government funded "Job Service" office near you. You can, when you're ready, also register there. No doubt job openings in your area are also listed on-line somewhere. Looking through these regularly will give you an idea of what types of jobs are typically available in your area.

Okay... that's enough for now. Feel free to message me if I can be of any assistance. One other thing: there is an organization called: "JIST". They publish excellent job seeking skills training materials. I would recommend that you try to get ahold of some of this. I frequently see JIST materials for sale at our local "Half Priced Books" stores. And, speaking of job seeking skills training, you're in all likelihood going to need some. When you are ready to begin looking for a job, you're going to face obstacles related not only to your disability, but also your length of unemployment and your age. Nowadays employers in most countries in our "post-industrialized" world are barred by law from discriminating based on race, age or disability status. However, we all know it happens every minute of every day. So you'll need to learn how to lessen the impact of these considerations. I would presume that there will be some job seeking skills training classes available in your area. Vocational / technical colleges often offer these as do "Job Service" type offices. Best wishes...

Dear Skeezyks,
Many thanks for this response. You are such a ressourceful person. I have read your message about four times, it is so comforting. I looked into volunteer work and even though a lot of it sounds a depressing, I kept looking. I think I finally found something that would lift my mood just a bit. I have to call tomorrow. I know that the main goal in this is to see people and to introduce some kind of schedule in my lifestyle. I did start a fitness program at a gym in February, so that was a start.

As for working part-time, I went on the site of the Québec Pension Plan. It is clearly mentionned that I may work and earn up to $1,000 a month, but there is a catch. As soon as they know that I can work part-time, they will cut my benefits and I will have to start the whole process again. It will be refused: For fibromyalgia, the "Collège des Médecins du Québec" now considers that the patient should only be off for two weeks and returned to work. This means that I will have to start part-time and rely on that revenue only, and with fibromyalgia, there will be no second chance of getting back on that Québec Pension Plan.
The concept you mentionned is what we commonly call "Job hunters groups". These are for people with no mental health issues and who have no trouble finding their field of interest.
We do have all sorts of services to get back into the work market, but with someone with a history of fibromyalgia and mental health issues, that is something else. If I only had one of the two, I would be thrilled. I don't look like I have issues to benefit from the services offered by groups that specialize with people with mental illness, who facilitate the process with comprehensive employers. But, after second thought, I think I will insist! In a work situation, I always come in cheerful, with a positive attitude, willing to give my best. Somehow, for some reason, someone always finds out sooner or later that I am bipolar, or if not, the result is the same... there starts the harassment, the bullying or I inherit all that eveybody else does not want to doL: Most difficult customers to collect, major accounts that need reconciliation (4 years of mix up), no help at the unloading dock (1,400 lbs pallets with a manual lift), while the other truck driver gets two lift drivers, etc. The only place where I was treated with respect was at Lundbeck (The manufacturer of "Celexa" and other meds). Also, I noticed that in most work expériences, the employees who did the least, were the ones that the management appreciated the most and who were praised all the time at meetings. Have you ever noticed that or is it just me?
So I will continue looking up the job listing for ideas... I'll continue to take a few career choice tests even though they mess me up a little. Maybe I am just not stable enough... Getting involved with the volonteer work to get started. and when I,m ready, I will insist to be part of a program for people with a mental illness. Regular programs will just put me in a precarious situation.

Many thanks.

Hi Quebec: Sounds like you have a plan going for you! From what you wrote, I would say getting going in a volunteer capacity would be a great way to go. There's no great hurry with any of this. Ultimately, you may find that you're just better off being a volunteer than trying to get back into paid employment. Volunteers provide vital services. One can be very proud of the work they do as a volunteer!

Besides getting yourself back onto a schedule, & out into the world, the other thing that volunteer work can do for you is to demonstrate that you can perform in a work-type setting, it gives you something to write on a resume or job application. It also can provide you with some potential references. So there are lots of side benefits to being a volunteer. And there are a wide variety of volunteer opportunities typically available. Here in the Twin Cities, where I live, there is a service that helps people seeking volunteer positions find positions that are of interest to them. You might check to see if there is such a service available in Quebec.

The important thing is: don't dive in too quickly. Be good to yourself. Begin at, perhaps, 10 or 12 hours per week. Then build up gradually from there. You may want to try out a few different things to see how you like them. You can also either, eventually, do several part-time volunteer jobs, or you can devote all of your available hours to one in particular. Good luck!

Hi Skeezyks,
I am expecting a call back from the volunteer association. I left a message on Tuesday, and it said that they have many calls to return, so I guess it's normal that I did not hear from them by Friday. I will call again on Monday.

The offer I want to apply on is to take care of animals in a hospital. It requires to be comfortable with a psychiatric environment. I've been there a few times, and I feel able to work there. They say that it involves taking care of cats, rabbits, gerbils, hamsters, birds, and to some extent, be able to do small repair work. I can do that! I described this offer to my social worker, and he thinks that it might be at Montreal's major psychiatric hospital, which is at a walking distance from where I live. He said that it might be to take care of the patient's pets. This hospital houses the pets of patients who are hospitalized. What an awesome initiative! (I recall having to take arrangements for my pets everytime I had to go to the hospital. And I was always concerned about their welfare) I thought it was for zootherapy. Or maybe it is... Or it is for both. I am eager to find out more about this offer. I've had many kinds of pets in my life, so I think that will be a nice experience (If I am choosen). It would be at least one afternoon per week, or more maybe. Everything is discussed during the interview. I'll keep you posted on any developments...

After second thoughts, and reading your reply, you might be right. Maybe I should just do this volunteer work for a while, and maybe that will be just the right thing, instead of taking unecessary risks with a part-time job. That might be just as fulfilling as a job, or maybe even more. Maybe I will not feel the need to get back into work since this will be just what I need, if I consider my health. I just had a major fubromyalgia flare-up due to a Pilates class on Tuesday (It seems to cause me major pain every time). Wednesday I dragged myself to the gym, thinking that by moving again, the stiffness would go away, so I warmed up on the elliptic, but I had to interrupt the Aero Salsa, and Thursday, I could not move at all. I'm still sore but just a bit. See, I am still at the state of discovering where my limits are. I'll stick with the Zumba and the elliptic machine. Too much twisting in the Aero Salsa so my knees complain everytime...

Thank you for your good advice. It really helps.

Quebec01

Hello Quebec: Thanks for your note & good luck with that volunteer position... it sounds perfect! I don't know much about gym equipment. But just reading what you wrote made my muscles sore! I walk quite a bit. That is my primary source of exercise. I've also done some light yoga in the past... not doing it at present. Anyway, thanks for keeping me "in the loop." I'll be anxious to here how this goes.

Dear Skeezyks,
I called again this morning since I did not get a return phone call. The lady will be there tomorrow and I left another message with the receptionist. As for the elliptic machine, it's a bit like crosscountry skiing. It's a good warm up exercise, with low impact on the knees, and it works just about every muscle in a light manner if you don't set it up with too much resistance. I can't wait to know if that volunteer position is still available. I know in advance that this would be something I would really like. The more I think about it, the more I find that this is what I need to get back on track. I'll feel like I have some kind of purpose. I'll let you know what more...