[blackmagic]

One of my bosses knows that I'm not very happy, and we spoke a few weeks ago about whether or not I saw this career as a long term fit (Been there 3 years now). The gist of the conversation was that I love the career I'm in, but not the environment, and she suggested that I might want to think about my personal happiness and if working here is really giving that to me.

She told me this week that what we talked about was going to be a major theme to my evaluation next week, and I am really starting to freak out! I don't want to lose this job, but I also don't know if staying here is sustainable to my mental health. I'm worried I'll say the wrong thing at evaluations and end up screwed!

[hvert]

Oh boy - your letter is giving me flashbacks. I mentioned in passing once to a new supervisor that I had been unhappy. She hounded me about that until I was eventually laid off a year later (just two months before I planned to quit, luckily).

Everything you wrote in your first paragraph was stuff I heard. My boss also used to offer to help me find a new job, somewhere else... for a lot less money.

So that is where I am coming from when I say that you need to backpedal on any suggestions you've made about being unhappy. If I were you, I would go into her office right now, before your evaluation, and tell her that you are worried there has been a misunderstanding, that she seems to think that you don't love your job as much as you really do. Even if you don't mean it, go into that evaluation with a story to tell her about how you see yourself growing with the company five years from now.

Keeping quiet about your unhappiness gives you time to find a new job instead of being fired when you aren't ready for that.

[blackmagic]

At every quarterly evaluation since I've been here, I've expressed enthusiasm for the long term path, but I've also made suggestions for the short term on how to keep myself and other employees engaged. Every evaluation, my suggestions are almost completely ignored, and it's worn me down continuously to where I am now.

As for backpedaling to my boss, She is out on vacation this week, so I can't go see her now. I also don't think anyone would be fooled if I pretended I was enthusiastic about the long term. They all know I'm not happy at work, but they don't know that I'm not happy anywhere...

[brainhi]

Let your boss know that you are confident that you can manage the things/environment. Sometimes we just blow off steam. If you are unhappy...than plan how you might get out. Easier changing yourself than everyone around you.

[hvert]

Quarterly evals? That's a lot! No wonder you aren't happy there I hope it goes okay.

I was surprised at how much better I felt when I got out of the job I wrote about above. I still had other problems, but removing that stress from my life made a huge difference.

Working on an escape plan from my job really made me feel a lot better and helped me keep my unhappiness more to myself while I was in the office.