[Shen1218]

I am stressed about work - I have been totally committed to a project where I literally gave up my life to work on - having no social life, working weekends, and putting in over 200 hours of overtime in a matter of 1.5 months to get the job done - then because of a technical (IT) error - and stress - something went very wrong and now I'm feeling guilty, I've let everyone down, I've let myself down and now am having problems feeling confident about work - I panic when my phone rings, I can't eat or sleep, I have been dealing with all the negative feedback from this and feel I'm all alone - even if my managers tell me it wasn't my fault and have been supportive I can't let go of this feeling and it's giving me panic attacks and making me sick to my stomach - am I being too hard on myself? I've gone from being a 100% supporter of my organization to wanting to quit and move to another country.... whats wrong with me? Is this a mid-life crisis? How can I find ways to relax and let go?

[glok]

Welcome to the Community, Shen1218.

Stress Management, Coping with Stress

My therapist gave me a card with these coping tips. They take some practice but have been helpful.

Coping With Anxiety and Panic

1. Remember, feelings of panic are just exaggerations of normal bodily stress reactions.
2. Sensations are neither harmful nor dangerous - just unpleasant. Nothing worse will happen.
3. Anxiety is temporary. Instead of fighting it, relax into it. Just let it be.*
4. Focus on facing the fear rather than trying to avoid it or escape from it.
5. Stop adding to the panic with frightening thoughts of where panic will lead.
6. Stay in the present. Be aware of what is happening to you rather than concern yourself with how much worse it might get.
7. Notice that when you stop adding to panic with frightening thoughts, the fear begins to fade.
8. Wait and give the fear time to pass.
9. Look around you. Plan what you will do next as the panic subsides.
10. When you are ready to go on, do so in an easy, relaxed manner. There is no hurry.
11. Think about the progress made so far despite all the difficulties.
*Breathe

I wish you well.

[Bumblebuzz12]

Yes, you are being too hard on yourself. It doesn't matter if your managers are telling you it isn't your fault. Your stuck. You have the wrong mindset. It sounds to me like your thinking ' this all my fault. I shouldn't have done that. I can't trust myself anymore. What if I mess up again.' Believe me your not the only one to have this mindset or feel this way. What you should be thinking is ' so what? I messed up I'm only human. I'll do better next time. Thank God for second chances. I can't wait to show them what I can really do next time.' Your expectations were high. Too high. You taken by surprise when something happened. A lot of times people (especially me ) imagine everything going perfectly and then life throws you something unexpected you have no idea what to do. You stand there in awe and negative thoughts and feelings fall from the sky and you involuntarily soak it up. So what do you do? You answer those phone calls proudly (even if you don't feel like it), take projects just like you would have before. Watch yourself as you succeed and fail. When you fail you'll know what not to do and you'll learn how to deal with the negative feelings and replace them positive ones.
You'll get through this. Good luck

[Shen1218]

Thank you Glok & Bumblebuzz12 - I don't feel so alone and thank you for reminding me to breath... feels like I've been holding my breath for the longest time, choking.....