[Rayne Selene]

So, to start off, I have a question. In your opinion, is it unacceptable for nanny do do her own homework/studying during her job? I'm a full time student, and I also work all the time. One of my jobs is on weekends, all weekend long. It's for a wonderful five year old. He and I have a great time together, do activities, play games, go on outings. But often, he likes to play by himself, and I'll do some of my studying. I think it's healthy and important for a child to know how to self-entertain. I don't just ignore him...if he changes his mind and needs me, I'm there. I'm frustrated right now because I've been reading all these online nanny forums that seem to have the general consensus that a nanny studying or texting on the job is horrendous.

Now, that being said, I have another question. Should I quit my weekday job? I'm getting very stressed out. The parents are very nice, but a bit controlling. They have me on an insanely tight schedule with kids that need constant "stimulation". The kids (both preschool aged) are very disrespectful. The older boy does things to deliberately upset me...though I would like to say I remain calm and make sure never to lose my temper, yell, etc. He does things like pee on the floor instead of in the toilet (on purpose), run into the street in front of an oncoming car, hit, slap, and pinch me, and on and on... I've tried talking to the mom about these behavioral issues but she says "oh, he's just trying to get you to react." Meanwhile I feel like I'm being tortured every day...which isn't the way I want to feel in a job, and I'm sure it's affecting the children because I'm having a hard time connecting with them. The family is also very active (one of the parents is an Olympic Medalist which I didn't know when I started) and I'm having a really hard time keeping up/providing the amount of physical activity the kids seem to need. The mom leaves me a new rule every day and I feel like this isn't the job I signed on for. I don't think that "childcare" means constant hands-on activities with the kids every minute of every day. That's crazy. But I guess it's a matter of opinion. I'm worried that this job really just doesn't fit with me, and I'm thinking they need to find someone more suited to their outlook and lifestyle.

Advice? Two questions: is it okay for a nanny to study if it doesn't interfere with the child's care? Should I quit this nanny job?

I'm really stressed out and this is really bothering me. Thanks for reading!

[lizardlady]

The week day nanny job sounds like a nightmare! Are you allowed to correct the children when they hurt you or do things like run in the street? I would be concerned about liability if they are that out of control if you can not correct them. As an aside, the parents sounds like a couple of jerks. "He's trying to get your attention"?!?!?! What he can't just ask for you attention?

As for studying during your weekend job. First off, have you spoken the the child's parents about how they feel? If they don't want you studying, then you best not. Personally, I agree with you. Children need to learn to entertain themselves. In my opinion, if the child is busy playing by himself I don't see a problem with you studying, as long as you can also keep an eye on him for safety sake and respond to him if he needs you.

Maybe what the nanny forums are against studying or texting because there are people who do it so much they end up ignoring the children? The agency I work for has a youth shelter for at risk kids. There are times I'm at the shelter and the youth care workers are all either texting or gabbing on their personal phones while they ignore the kids. It makes me wild!

[Abe Froman]

I knew a girl that nannied while in school and I'm pretty sure she studied on the job. But I think that's really just up to the parents. I think you should talk to them.

On the second situation, a good nanny is hard to find sometimes. I guess my point is that if you are in a bad situation, but you are a good nanny, then maybe give notice on that job. Leave with a good relationship so you have a reference, and then put yourself out there to find another family to work for.

Good luck with everything.

[Rayne Selene]

Thanks I wasn't expecting a possibility of studying on that job...the mom has made it very clear I'm not to even glance at my phone. I was just wondering if anyone else has the opinion that it might be okay on nanny jobs in general...because if I had a nanny, I wouldn't mind. But so many people seem to be saying that it's horrible! So I wanted to get some other opinions

As for leaving the job, I do think I'm going to. I'm worried about how to do it amicably...I've never quit a job because I didn't like it before. I've only ever quit when my schedule changed or it was just time to move on. The mom seems very intense and I'm worried she'll flip I'm extremely anxious about conflict. I don't do confrontation well AT ALL.

[Rayne Selene]

Oh, and the weekend job: yes she knows I study. She gave me her wifi password! Lol she doesn't mind

[Rayne Selene]

I forgot I already posted a nanny job question in here...heehee...sorry guys