What to Do Work/Career-Wise?

I haven't worked for 8 years or so, at first partly due to choice - I wanted to concentrate on my music and novel, then got pulled into environmental activism...
And last year got diagnosed with psychosis/schizophrenia, which was quite a shock.

I also had bad experiences at my last two jobs (teaching and translating - I have a degree in languages).

I live with my parents who are retired, and of course they have worried all this time, what will happen when they are no more etc. They had some health issues this year and I started worrying too.

This year I developed neck/back problems as well, probably due to being too much behind the computer/sedentary. So any longer writing/behind the computer job for 8 hours seems out of the question. I can't even play the guitar as easily as I used to, or for longer period of time.

My psychologists and psychiatrist recommended Vocational Rehabilitation, and think that will solve all my problems, I'm not so sure about that though.
I think things like 'who will hire me?' and what kind of job would I even really truly want? And you get really a low amount of money when doing this Vocational Rehabilitation for working 6 hours a day, not much more than for just sitting at home.
It's doubtful whether the voc rehab job/s would develop into something more long-term afterwards.

I used to wish to start a NGO/biz, that doesn't seem to be so easy though, not sure if I have emotional resilience or self-discipline for it.

I could imagine doing some internet-related job from home, or working in a small friendly office, with good people. My favorite job so far was in PR, writing articles on the basis of materials in another language. Second favorite was in tourism, just working in tourist information office. (But I don't really have a sense for directions to be a guide or something like that)

Is it maybe better to not even have a preconcieved notion and just 'go with what they offer me'? (I was supposed to write down names of possible employers/people who could help with the job though.)

I don't like the idea of having a 'disabled' status, though some say it can be easier to get certain jobs in our country this way.

I have about three months before the Vocational Rehabilitation anyway, as there is a waiting list. Would like to edit my novel or record my songs, but somehow couldn't bring myself to do it (maybe it's the meds? I'm on Abilify 10mg - or just lack of self esteem and anxiety, connected with both?)

Any suggestions?

What did you like about the two favorite jobs you mentioned? What did you do well in them? What made you stop doing those jobs?

hmm, I loved working in a beautiful space with beautiful computers (Apple), or in a scenic hut by a lake... The PR job was a small office, just 3 of us, the boss respected me and liked me, the other co-worker later on not so much. (I think I may have cried there as well and handled a conflict not-so-great, it was exhaustion, working, studying, going to drama classes, trying to write my thesis, I once fell asleep on a bus!)

I wrote articles well, they got published in big newspapers.
I read many books on effective/constructive communication, social intelligence and such at the time, implemented the techniques, and they kinda worked.

The boss wanted to hire me permanently, but I wanted to study art and later go study abroad... Then I wanted to finish my first BA theses (languages), which took me a long while, cause they were such interesting ones, I kept researching and reading more books, moved back home...

The tourism information job was just for limited time only. It wasn't well-paid and it was a bit exhausting, I had to be there 'all days', though sometimes just sitting and waiting. And I didn't like the smoking that was going on in the main office (that was before the smoking in offices was banned here) and some other things, and wanted to write my novel/do music and art etc. anyway.

People/guests there thanked me for 'kindness'. (Which kind of surprised me lol. I didn't have such great knowledge of routes and such to begin with, so it was a bit stressful too, but I tried to be nice and polite to everyone.) So apparently I did that well, the approach.
When there was a group of them, I explained things to them as a group, near a big map.

I liked talking to the people who visited, especially international guests, or to the waitresses near-by when there was no one around, it was peaceful. I was alone in the little hut and could read or talk to the girls/guests next door if I wanted to.

I also like helping people, have done so on a volunteer-basis. (Online and in RL.)
Ideally, the job would be about helping people and environment or at least not harming them.
I am open to new things and possibilities, NGOs or such... (Would prefer to not have to 'memorize' too much though, my brain has already had to remember a lot and the memory hasn't been so great anymore)

If you were offered a job that you like right now, or soon, what would be the advantages and disadvantages of accepting it?

Advantages would be the money of course (if it were good), possible interaction with people, doing something worthwhile with my time, mum and dad would be happy, other relatives too, a feeling of security for the future...

Disadvantages: hmm, I'd probably have to focus on something other than my other current interests (mental health, helping people, reading...), I'd face the possibility of another 'fiasco'/self-esteem issues, and possible back/neck problems, I might take the meds longer if the job would be stressful...

Thanks! How likely is it that you would accept the job?

If it would be a good job, I would accept it!

As for the Vocational Rehabilitation, I'm still in doubts about it (it really pays very low...)

Okay, that sounds good!

Are you looking now, or, if not, what is stopping you from looking for such a job now?

I don't know if such a job exists! Or what it would be!

I've been looking a bit, and my mum has been looking (I know, I know!) - she seems even more eager for us (me&sis) to have jobs, I've just had fears that I wouldn't be successful in 'any' job - that I couldn't pull off full 8 hours, that I'd get overwhelmed again... Maybe I was just 'chicken', partly cause I had such bad experiences in my last two jobs...

Before my diagnosis, it was partly rebellion too, I wanted to have a different lifestyle and not 'a job', now that we get along well I wouldn't mind having a job, if it would be a good one.
I saw my mum being miserable in her life, she had a(n office) job, a husband and kids, and she was miserable. So I thought by going 'for my dreams' instead of 'settling' I'd be happy.
But truth seems to be somewhere 'in between'.

I wouldn't mind having a good job that would still allow me to pursue some of my dreams and passions and live with integrity/in line with my beliefs.

Thanks! How well have you been doing (professionally and emotionally) in your volunteer work?

It was stressful too, at times. Some successes and some not-so-successes.
I cried with regard to volunteering too lol. Twice (once before sort of important-ish people from two other NGOs). We sort of clarified things later, but I wouldn't dare work for them!

Another consideration would be my diagnosis, whether and when to tell etc. The NGO people don't know, not sure if it would be wise to tell or not...

Is there a downside to trying to voc rehab? One of my friends was able to get an associates degree for free through one of those programs-- and he got to take a bunch of classes at the very expensive art school through some sort of student transfer program. It sounded like a great deal to me

WOW, that does sound like a great deal! I didn't know voc rehab can do something like this! But not sure if it's the same in my country. Here, I was told you go work for a firm/organisation/... for 6 hours a day and you get some 300 euro/month (social support is about 260 euro/month). The idea is to be hired by them if they like you after this 'free for them' period paid by the state, it often doesn't happen though. And I wonder who we would find to work for, what kind of environment. Would it just further decrease my already low self-esteem?
I suppose firms/orgs would like to get 'free for them' work done, the question is if they'd like me enough or have enough $$$ to hire me after that. No vocational training/education was mentioned.

I have no idea how it is in your country and over here it varies from state to state and even town to town. We have the kind of program you are describing too, where people are theoretically going to get hired after the state is done paying their salary but often don't.

I would ask about vocational training/education-- can't hurt, right? And if you sign up for the vocational program and decide you don't like where you are working or that it isn't a good fit, maybe you could switch companies or quit that position? The point of the program is to find you permanent work, not to give companies free labor (even if that is how they see it), so whoever is supervising the program will ideally pay attention to your needs and wishes as well.

Thanks Hvert!

I'll probably take part in the voc rehab and ask about things too, meanwhile, I've looked for free online courses and joined Coursera
I realized how much I missed education and learning in an organized way, even if it's not 'conventional'...