[Finding the Light]

My 27 year old son is being underpaid and held back at work even though he out performs and works longer hours than his peers and superiors due to the fact that he has disclosed his bipolar status. When he is feeling anxious or manic he steps out for a break and coworkers respect and admire his work. His disorder has been mentioned when justifying a lower raise or when he is denied a prime project. He wants to put the cards on the table and discuss this with his bosses but I'm afraid that this may make things worse. Is it time to move on? Please help!! He deserves better and is so talented - this hurts me so badly and I want to see him thrive. Thanks in advance

Originally Posted by Finding the Light

My 27 year old son is being underpaid and held back at work even though he out performs and works longer hours than his peers and superiors due to the fact that he has disclosed his bipolar status. When he is feeling anxious or manic he steps out for a break and coworkers respect and admire his work. His disorder has been mentioned when justifying a lower raise or when he is denied a prime project. He wants to put the cards on the table and discuss this with his bosses but I'm afraid that this may make things worse. Is it time to move on? Please help!! He deserves better and is so talented - this hurts me so badly and I want to see him thrive. Thanks in advance

Is there a reason he disclosed his disorder to his employers? If there is proof he is being held back because of it then you may have a discrimination case on your hands. He could attempt to change the mind of his employer or move on to another company and not disclose his illness to them unless he needs am accommodation.

[hvert]

I think this is a battle he needs to fight. He may be right that putting his cards on the table is what's needed to get him the raise. If it makes things worse, maybe he will decide to move on and get the money he deserves.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Finding the Light

His disorder has been mentioned when justifying a lower raise or when he is denied a prime project.

How was it mentioned - orally or in writing? If orally, was it during a one on one with the supervisor or in a group of people?

[CosmicRose]

I would personally advise to not disclose a mental disorder as it sets people up for this kind of treatment. Unless the disorder is very obvious and impacts someone's work, then don't disclose it. Tell him this next time he applies to a job. Quite frankly, its none of their business. He's there to do a job and go home - that's what they pay him for, that's it. Anything else simply isn't their business. I have an anxiety disorder but I will never disclose that to any future employers because I can already see how that would make it worse for just me, no one else. He should probably start looking for other jobs if this one is holding him back and being discriminatory. Tell him not to disclose his bipolar to any future employers unless it really specifically impacts his daily work. If he needs to take breaks, can he take his breaks during lunch? He sounds like an asset to any company, so he needs to leave this one if they are purposely withholding raises and using his bipolar as an excuse. This sounds like a complaint for HR. It's illegal for them to discriminate against illnesses.

[PrepCouture]

I agree with CosmicRose. Unless it's very obvious (like you are wheelchair bound) I would not mention it. I never mentioned I have ADHD and my employer and coworkers would never guess. In fact, my endless bouts of energy and restlessness make it possible for me to work back to back 13-hour days (they are all very jealous of this and see it as a 'superpower' rather than an ADHD thing.)

If he wants to work in a setting where he can be more open about bipolar, Goodwill is excellent at accommodating persons with disabilities.

[geis]

Goodwill may make accommodations for people with disabilities, but they use a legal loophole to pay them far below minimum wage. They don't pay nearly enough for anyone to survive on.

[hamster-bamster]

Thanks Geis. I think OP's son, given that she talked about his PROJECTS, is overqualified for goodwill-organized employment anyway.

[Finding the Light]

Wow! Thanks for responding - everyone!
I strongly recommended that he not disclose to anyone at the co. but he became close with a coworker (they hung out all the time) and that's when this started. He has been denied raises or given a token in hopes of placating him. He has also been passed up for promotions with obviously less talented people being given the positions. He still does the work that people way above his title or pay grade do but is not recognized or compensated for it. He wants to stay with the co. even with all of this because it is the top organization in the industry and he loves the work but I know he can't continue like this indefinitely without it deeply affecting him. He wrote an "email" in a text program asking for a meeting with his bosses and outlining the issues but he can't decide if he should send it for fear of things getting worse or possibly losing his job. There just doesn't seem to be a clear cut answer to this one - at least not for me. I can't stand the indignations he has suffered but I am afraid for him as well because people in the industry talk and this could potentially destroy his career and that would be devastating for him and the industry as he is so unbelievably talented. If you've seen a movie lately, you have probably seen his work.

[Finding the Light]

Originally Posted by rouge198

Is there a reason he disclosed his disorder to his employers? If there is proof he is being held back because of it then you may have a discrimination case on your hands. He could attempt to change the mind of his employer or move on to another company and not disclose his illness to them unless he needs am accommodation.

He told a coworker after they became friends and apparently she told his boss. He doesn't want to go the legal route because of how it will affect his career long term. He is looking for a way to stay where he is because it is the most prestigious co. in the industry. So infuriating! Rather than judge him on the quality of his work/character, this one individual would prefer to make assumptions based on ignorance. Sorry - venting - and to someone who is only trying to help. Thank you

[Finding the Light]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

How was it mentioned - orally or in writing? If orally, was it during a one on one with the supervisor or in a group of people?

Orally - by his boss on several occasions when raises/promotions are the topic of discussion.

[Finding the Light]

Originally Posted by hvert

I think this is a battle he needs to fight. He may be right that putting his cards on the table is what's needed to get him the raise. If it makes things worse, maybe he will decide to move on and get the money he deserves.

The biggest part of me agrees with you completely. As someone who always stands up for what is right and fair, he most definitely wants to confront the issue head on. The concern in his case is that his career would be better served by staying where he is as it is the biggest, highest paying and most well known co. in the industry. There is also the problem that people in his industry talk and your reputation can make or break you so if you leave, you have to be careful how you do it. You are right - and in a world without politics, ignorance or people who just seem to enjoy manipulating the lives of others - a fair and just world - this is the answer. Oh, and I like the way you think

[Finding the Light]

Originally Posted by CosmicRose

I would personally advise to not disclose a mental disorder as it sets people up for this kind of treatment. Unless the disorder is very obvious and impacts someone's work, then don't disclose it. Tell him this next time he applies to a job. Quite frankly, its none of their business. He's there to do a job and go home - that's what they pay him for, that's it. Anything else simply isn't their business. I have an anxiety disorder but I will never disclose that to any future employers because I can already see how that would make it worse for just me, no one else. He should probably start looking for other jobs if this one is holding him back and being discriminatory. Tell him not to disclose his bipolar to any future employers unless it really specifically impacts his daily work. If he needs to take breaks, can he take his breaks during lunch? He sounds like an asset to any company, so he needs to leave this one if they are purposely withholding raises and using his bipolar as an excuse. This sounds like a complaint for HR. It's illegal for them to discriminate against illnesses.

First, let me say that I love your quote. We could all do with a little more standing still.
I absolutely agree with you regarding disclosure. I did tell him that based on my own experiences, it usually blows up in your face. Unfortunately, he became friends with a coworker and mentioned it to her while they were hanging out never dreaming that it would get to his boss. Ah dreams. The indignations began shortly after and have continued for 3 years. There are only a handful of companies that he could go to as he is in a very specialized creative industry. One of the things that is so hard for me to take is that if he does decide to confront the issue and it goes badly, his boss could (and most likely would) damage his reputation and potentially, his career. It is probably time for him to start over somewhere else but with the exception of this one manipulative individual, he truly loves the company and the caliber of projects that he works on is incredible. I know that he will figure this out but as his mom, it hurts to my very core to know that he is in so much pain and conflict and that none of this would be happening if not for me and my messed up genes. I can't change it but I would give up everything if only I could.

Get dirty. Fight fire with fire. Have him record conversations using his disability against him. Then blackmail the employer.

[hamster-bamster]

The only thing I can suggest is making a formal disclosure.

I agree with everybody on the point that unless disclosure is inevitable, it is best not to disclose.

However, in his case, he disclosed to a person who betrayed his trust - he thought that he was speaking in confidence.

So now everybody knows and the boss even mentions this orally, so he knows.

Since the cat is out of the bag already, making a formal disclosure (to the boss, cc: head of HR) would not make any difference in terms of what is already known, but hopefully will alert the HR to the potential suit alleging discrimination in employment. Then, hopefully again, the director of HR would have a talk with his boss.

If your son goes that route, have him spell out that he does not request accommodations.