[CosmicRose]

This might sound a little silly, but I was raised to believe you are your job.
You are your career.
This belief has actually been hindering me lately.
If I don't feel successful in a career, or don't have that respectable job title, I feel like an utter failure.
Do you agree with, "you are your job"?
I was taught by my parents, by teachers, and by society as a whole from the minute I was in kindergarten that you ARE your job. Right now I have a very lowly customer service job for an online website and I feel like a total failure because of this sometimes, which really sucks because intellectually I know we are all more than our jobs. But people who are like Doctors etc...they actually integrate their job into who they are.
So I'm trying to understand the distinction here.
What are you thoughts on this? Are you your job, or not?

[gayleggg]

I think we are more than our jobs, but I understand what you are saying about what parents and society tells us. I was taught that if you get a job and stick with it you would be rewarded with promotions, retirement, insurance and other perks and that might have worked in the fifties but doesn't hold true now.

I had a customer service job and was let go because the company wanted different image. It hurt. I was good at my job, but that wasn't enough. Used to they would have found a place for someone in a different department but now we are expendable. I guess I sound a little bitter and I guess I am. And also unemployed.

But that isn't a reflection on my worth as a human being, but I have trouble some days convincing myself that that's true.

[brainhi]

It is not that "cut and dried". Many of us strive to find our passion...and the journey will say more about us than the destination. I have great friends who are not their jobs. Their family is more important...the money they make helps with their purpose. Many have wonderful hobbies that are hard to finance.. a "regular" job helps with that. What you want can be ever changing. No one gets to define you but you.

[CosmicRose]

Originally Posted by gayleggg

I think we are more than our jobs, but I understand what you are saying about what parents and society tells us. I was taught that if you get a job and stick with it you would be rewarded with promotions, retirement, insurance and other perks and that might have worked in the fifties but doesn't hold true now.

I had a customer service job and was let go because the company wanted different image. It hurt. I was good at my job, but that wasn't enough. Used to they would have found a place for someone in a different department but now we are expendable. I guess I sound a little bitter and I guess I am. And also unemployed.

But that isn't a reflection on my worth as a human being, but I have trouble some days convincing myself that that's true.

I was thinking today how rude the phrase, "Terminated" is to describe firing someone. The definition literally means to "kill". How weird is that?

[KissedbyFire]

I definitely feel like America places so much emphasis on working and ladder climbing.

For the longest, I identified myself as college student. I graduated last month and it just seems surreal to me and I feel as though I have lost a great part of myself. I am lost at the moment.

[brainhi]

Originally Posted by KissedbyFire

I definitely feel like America places so much emphasis on working and ladder climbing.

For the longest, I identified myself as college student. I graduated last month and it just seems surreal to me and I feel as though I have lost a great part of myself. I am lost at the moment.

I think feeling bad about leaving a part of your life experiences is normal.

I am my job/career. And since I don't have a job, never really had one, and probably never will, I have been nothing and will be nothing.

When I graduated with my last degree I had no will to live. What was the point? So I've gone back to get another degree to buy myself a few more years to live. Then after that, I'll have no reason to live and no more degrees to get. To switch career fields would be a fate worse than death. This is the only thing I want to do. And why would I waste a decade in school just to randomly switch careers and spend several MORE years in school. And then I might be over qualified for an entrance level job. I guess I just lie about my education on applications?

All I know is that I have no purpose in this world without my career, so I guess that would fall into the definition of being my job.

[hvert]

6 or 8 years ago (!) I left a job for a job that turned out to be really demoralizing. I no longer wanted to tell people where I worked or what I did. It was very, very hard to feel good about myself because I felt like I had lost my identity, which had been very tightly wrapped up in my previous position.

I am still not 100% over this. I am still trying to figure out what I am if what I do defines me. Even if I am okay as an individual without having this description, interacting in society is very difficult without one.

[Bimmer01]

I'm struggling with this. I took a new job that I hate where I no longer feel like my job represents who I am. I don't fit in with my coworkers and I don't get to do the things I used to like doing at work.

Work is only part of who you are. It doesn't define you, IMO.

This is a good topic for me. I was raised in a workaholic household, very achievement-oriented. I have been out of work for a year, first six months by choice, last six months because I can't find a job (I'm being pretty particular).

This unemployment/difficulty in finding a job has really affected my self esteem. I struggle with self worth because I'm not "producing" or making a contribution. I struggle with lots of down time now because I never cultivated hobbies or friendships (until recently, out of necessity).

I think if I wasn't raised in such a "you are your job" or "you are what you produce" family, my self esteem would be higher now.

[kim_johnson]

Yes, I hear you.

I had a hard time at technical college because I didn't think they were doing their best to train people to be the best they could be. When I tried to say this I was told 'not everyone can be the best'. I said 'I didn't say they could. I said to be the best they could be'.

Do you hear the difference?

Life is like a game of cards... We don't choose the hand we are dealt. Some people are dealt with royal flushes. They aren't smart for winning the hand, but they would be idiots indeed if they managed to lose it!

There is a beauty that I think most people see in the idea of doing your best. Of trying. Whatever the outcome. Some people don't get it. They wonder why some people go to the Olympics when it is fairly clear they aren't good enough to medal. Why would you bother if you can't win? On the other hand... There is something that people see and... Value... And... Love... About the people who get in there and do their freaking best. Whether they succeed or whether they fail.

It isn't whether you win or lose it is how you play the game.

So... On the one hand... Everyones job is the same: To be the best x they can be'. Where x is... Whatever we value, I guess. Mother. Doctor. Rockstar. Call center technician. Cleaner. Poker player. I remember working functions... Unloading carts filled of dirty dishes... Scraping the scraps and putting the dishes up on the bench for the dishwash guy. Not a glamourous job... But I was pretty ****ing good at it. I was quick... I was precise... You get into the zone or the flow...

I appreciate that it is harder when people treat you like crap. It is much easier to take pride in what you do when you get kudos etc from other people for it. Easier to take pride in being a doctor than being a cleaner. But I really do think... That that's fairly ********. That there isn't any more reason to take pride in one than the other. That's what I mean.

Your job description / title... That doesn't define you. How you play the cards you got... I really believe... That does. Of course I understand that it is easier to feel that way about a nice job description / title. And... That doesn't seem fair. But then... Sometimes power... Corrupts. So maybe it isn't easier after all.

[Koko2]

After I went through a period of unemployment and employment with less than desirable job titles, my family started labeling me as "special" so I think a good job title helps garner respect from society, and from family if they're of the shallow stripe.

[kim_johnson]

Yeah, it does. And it is hard to have pride in ones work when other people are too dumb to see the value in it.

Apparently I'm a bit special for having this attitude, though.

Most people... Don't want their employees to get on with doing their job to the best of their ability. Because it makes them look bad. They are more interested in hiring employees who are full of gossip etc...