[HockingPastryChef]

I would describe this co-worker(baker) as difficult. She likes to talk about herself quite a bit and complains quite a bit. I think she ahs complained about everybody in the building. She likes to manipulate too. She has talked about how she has rage and anger issues which explains the manipulation part too. She thinks it's ok that she has anger issues.

One thing that happened today, I really feel annoyed by now was

I was working on the cake and she had gotten some done while I was working on most of it, she had to take a delivery, at the time I was stressed because I was left to do quite a bit and had only so much time to get several other tasks done that I said I would do.

So, after she took the delivery one of the decorators told me that they wanted an item the other baker said she would do done and chocolate ganache which I said I would do. I happened to see the baker come back about 15 minutes ago when I was getting ready to do it because I knew I had that time and the decorator wanted it done. I wasn't stressed out anymore. But the baker that had come back from delivery which was gone for an hour or so, came running over said hey I will get this done we all just need to calm done, everybody is freaking out. I told her I can do this, she said no no, everything is fine. I then said straight to her face calmy I am fine "her name". She had this anger grin on her face for some reason. ??

I had then finished the rest of the cake and went to lunch. But then I almost forgot to get this wedding cake done, that needed done. So I had stopped my lunch to get it done. But I was talking and laughing with the baker and she seemed fine then. I ended up thanking her for doing the ganache and she said yes it's my job too... I said yes, yes it is...

I guess she wanted me stressed out because she is stressed out quite often??

But Ahhh.... what a manipulator. I wasn't stressed out but now it is bothering me more.

I was thinking I need to figure out more ways to handle her manipulations though... she tries to have me do more work than I said I would do quite often and tells me what to do when I know I can get certain things done too. :/
There are times I can get rather annoyed but won't show it to her.

There's reasons people need to do meditations... ha

[hvert]

Where does she sit in the hierarchy in relation to you? Are you at the same level?

Sometimes when I feel like people are trying to drive me crazy on purpose, I try to imagine other explanations for their behavior. Like with your coworker, I might think 'oh, maybe she is so stressed that she has no idea what she sounds like. She probably felt bad about what she'd said before she left, so she insisted on doing the chocolate ganache.' That interpretation may not right, but it's possible, and it's easier to deal with someone (for me), if I can attribute their annoying behavior to an oversight as opposed to a personal slight.

[HockingPastryChef]

Originally Posted by hvert

Where does she sit in the hierarchy in relation to you? Are you at the same level?

Sometimes when I feel like people are trying to drive me crazy on purpose, I try to imagine other explanations for their behavior. Like with your coworker, I might think 'oh, maybe she is so stressed that she has no idea what she sounds like. She probably felt bad about what she'd said before she left, so she insisted on doing the chocolate ganache.' That interpretation may not right, but it's possible, and it's easier to deal with someone (for me), if I can attribute their annoying behavior to an oversight as opposed to a personal slight.

Yes, we are at the same level. At one point I had actually asked our manager where does she stand in the building, if she was an assistant. But no, she just has been there longer than me.

And, maybe she did feel bad and she didn't want to present that. But in my case I think it would of been better to ask "who is freaking out?" then that would of let the juices flow more. A lot of the times I am too tired to think of what would be a good approach to this situation. That's why I think I need to take the time to jot out situations that have happened in the past and right better approaches and it would help me prepare more.

[hvert]

Yeah, it helps to sort of trial run stuff in writing. Dealing with people who think they are in charge (when they aren't really) is pretty annoying.

[HockingPastryChef]

Originally Posted by hvert

Yeah, it helps to sort of trial run stuff in writing. Dealing with people who think they are in charge (when they aren't really) is pretty annoying.

Yes it is annoying but the thing is she doesn't do this all the time. It seems like it happens more on the busier days. I normally want to evenly spread out the baked items that need to be done. She knows that I stand my ground most of the time but I do have my days where I do get overly anxious.