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nervous puppy
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Default Dec 21, 2015 at 11:19 AM
  #1
First of all, I'm not sure I even want to post this thread. I know that a lot of people out there are struggle to even find a job. I know that I've been lucky enough to have had a full time job at the same place for 25 plus years. I'm a 55 yr old female who has been working in a male dominated field the entire time. My problems started about 15 years ago. Depression & anxiety had taken over my life. The last 5 years have been horrible and the past year has been barely survivable.
I have a good paying job, work 45-50 hrs a week, insurance, I mean, really, should I complain?
I really thought I would retire from this place. I can't wait that long. It will destroy me.
I have realized over the last 6 months that this place is not built on the honesty and integrity I thought it was. It is full of lies and deceit. The two owners don't talk to each other (not very often). The wrong people have been put in charge of different departments and the shop is lacking in trained personnel. We are losing customers and sales as dropped more than 15% from last year. I have given up caring about the company because it seems no ones cares, why should I?
I work with customers and quote the jobs. Then we can't hit deliveries even though we are slow. Or worse, we scrap the jobs because of dumb mistakes in the shop. Everybody is busy pointing fingers and everyone else. The owners act like they don't know any of this. Well, they aren't around enough.
I've gotten "scolded" and "spoken to" about my "bi***yness". Well, you know, if I didn't care about the customer I wouldn't be getting mad, would I?!?!

I finally came to the realization this weekend that I need to make a major change. The worst thing that could happen is they fire me. Well, ok. H & I have enough in savings to pay the bills for a year if need be. How sweet is that?! Truly a blessing.
I have decided that after Christmas, and most likely after New Years. As a matter of fact I think the day will be Jan. 5th. I will go and talk to the owners (with a written list!) and tell them how I feel. I will tell them everything I can in a rational, thought out (written list!!), calm (as I can possibly be) manner.
I absolutely cannot continue doing what I am currently doing and have been for 16 years. I cannot work with customers anymore. If there is (and there are) something else there that they would like me to do, I will stay. I am quite willing to go to hourly pay (I'm salary now), work less than 30-35hrs/wk, or travel to the other shop 1.5 hrs away a couple days a week if needed.
That would be best case, that they keep me, I work less than full time, and in a different capacity.
I am shaking with all of the emotions running through me. I have finally decided to try to do something to make myself happy.
I'm starting to think that best case is they fire me. Leaving that place completely might be the best thing.
I haven't stopped crying for two days now, since I decided.
I have started to write down all the things I want to bring up and tell them.

If you got this far, thanks for reading, I know it was long.
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CopperStar
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Default Dec 21, 2015 at 01:43 PM
  #2
Nobody should have to work in a toxic environment, but some people are luckier than others when it comes to what options (if any) they have.

Other people being unlucky is not your fault and is no reason for you to punish yourself unnecessarily.

If you are able to escape a toxic environment, and you feel ready to do so, then you have every right in the world to go for it.
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Thanks for this!
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Skeezyks
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Smile Dec 21, 2015 at 01:44 PM
  #3
Hello nervous puppy: Congratulations on your decision to take steps to improve the quality of your life. As long as you're okay with getting fired (which is probably the worst-case scenario here) then things should probably work out for you regardless of what happens. Best wishes for the new year!

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Thanks for this!
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Default Dec 21, 2015 at 02:11 PM
  #4
Good for you for doing this! It will not be easy, but it surely sounds like it needs to be done and who knows, maybe the owners will "see the light" and give you a position that would make you happier. Or, worst case, you get fired and collect unemployment for a year. Big hug and good luck. Let us know what happens
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Thanks for this!
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nervous puppy
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Default Dec 22, 2015 at 05:19 PM
  #5
Thanks for the support! I will need it.
I have made up my mind and I will meet with the owner next week either on Tuesday or Wednesday.
I continue to gather info for my meeting (or series of meetings).
Taking deep breaths to try to keep my anxiety in check!

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