[hatinglife1616]

Hi all. Well Ive been on some different forums. But have not really found much advice on my problem. Im 37 , divorced, 2 kids. My ex has custody of my kids, mainly because he had the money to do it. Hes high up in the military. As for me, I cannot keep a job. I was married to him for 14 years and was basically a stay at home mom. I did a little bit of medical transcription but that was from home. Anyway, so we got divorced 5 years ago. Ive been without my kids, seeing them occasionally. My ex keeps getting transferred everywhere and moving my kids. I keep moving also. Currently I am in Kentucky, where he was stationed. But he just got stationed in VA. He has my son there. And my daughter is in SC living with his brother , wife and her cousins (long story, his wife told him to send our daughter away). So I am trying to get to SC because I cannot afford VA.

Anyway, of course all this moving around has made it hard because I have had to quit jobs to move. But in addition to that, I get fired from jobs alot too. I have a bachelors in education but with all the moving around, I havent tried for teaching certification or anything like that. I wish I did not have that huge college loan debt. Also I have to pay ex (who makes almost 100 K a year) child support. I cant afford a lawyer or get anything to court right now to be changed. Also I am not working right now so I submitted paperwork to stop my license from being suspended by the dept of revenue. So, I have all this debt, and theres no way I can pay it. I cant even support myself. I do have a boyfriend (we get along some of the time but Im pretty irritable lately). He is able to hold a job. I guess someone else is always going to have to support me. That sounds so pathetic but its just the truth. Anyway We actually just found out that Im pregnant, about 7 weeks. We dont live in a great area. I really want to get to SC so we can raise our child there. He is hoping to be transferred down there in his current company, but hes only been there about 2.5 months, so who knows if they will transfer him in a few months when his lease is up.

Anyway, I know that is a lot to take in. I just dont know what to do anymore. The last job I had was as a leasing agent. Everyone was so happy I was there at first. They let me know that. They thanked me for being there, because they really needed the help. At first they said I was doing a good job. I was there for 2 months. I barely got trained before the girl I was replacing left. Then they brought in a manager from another property who could not handle managing 2 properties at once. So, no training. All she did was confuse me because she was always confused and was mixing everything up. Anyway, so they finally brought a girl from another property who is very organized and has her **** together. Not the nicest person, but hey she could do her job. I guess then they decided they had no need for me anymore. I got a call from the staffing agency I was working through and they told me that I was making too many costly mistakes. Well maybe that was because I wasnt trained!! It didnt matter. All they did was just hire more and more temps.

Anyway, I kind of liked the job. I didnt despise going in at least. But as usual, I didnt do a good enough job. My entire family sees how I keep losing jobs. No one thinks I can hold a job. They want me to apply for disability, bipolar disorder or something. I suppose I could (though dont know Id get it) but I know my ex will use this against me if I ever try to get my kids with me (which may never happen bc I may never have the money). Anyway its all a big mess. Right now Im looking for medical transcription jobs working from home. I am convinced I cannot make it in an office environment. I did some testing. I have heard back from one employer who said that I didnt do a good enough job. I thought this was something I was GOOD at. hell maybe I was wrong about that. I cant figure out what is wrong with me. Do I need more training at a job than the average person should? Do I ask too many questions? Is my social anxiety so bad that its going to mess up every job I have ? All I know is that right now my self esteem is completely shot.

If my boyfriend jokes around with me regarding job situation or says one little thing that could be taken as an insult, I will just go off. He has ADHD, he speaks before he thinks. Anyway, I dont know how much more rejection I can take before I just give up on having a job completely. I am just going to go into jobs from now on thinking "well I will work here till they fire me" Before this last job, I at least had a little bit of hope I could keep a job, but now I dont have any hope whatsoever. Anyway sorry this is so long. I Just really need some advice on what I should do. And im curious if anyone else is going through this. I look forward to hearing from you all. Thanks for listening.

[Skeezyks]

Hello hatinglife1616: The Skeezyks doesn't have any useful advice to offer. But I thought I would simply leave a reply letting you know I read you post & wishing you the best in your struggle.

Hatinglife,

Welcome to PC!

Congrats on your pregnancy. I imagine holding a job for an extended period is difficult with all of the moving. I wanted to let you know that having a mental illness does not automatically preclude you from having custody or partial custody of your children.

If you can't work due to your mental illness, you might consider applying for
SSDI. A certain amount of work credits are required. I'm not sure how many.

Best wishes and glad to have you here. Please PM a Community Liasion if you have questions or concerns.

Hatinglife,
From what you describe, changing your child support arrangement needs to be a priority. A long time ago, when my husband was sued (something having to do with business, he's always done entrepreneurial things on the side hoping to be able to work for himself instead of in an office), he studied the laws on the issue via the internet. He said that the judge looked at him really funny because he didn't have representation but he was able to prevent the person from obtaining any judgements/financial gains. My husband said that he was the one that actually had the grounds to sue but determined that the cost to sue wasn't worth it because to potential payment wasn't high enough. Basically, my spouse was being sued to hand over extensive work he had done despite not being paid by the person that was suing him. My spouse saved a lot of money by representing himself rather than hire a lawyer.

Anyways, what I am trying to say is, is there a way you could represent yourself? Sometimes, if you study the law on the internet, there is a way.

Your situation sounds very tough. The current economy is very tough and there are many jobs out there that are unpleasant. Keep looking and trying.

If you are thinking of applying for SSDI for mental illness, it is easy to do online. However, to be successful, you would need to have medical records showing you've been going to doctors for treatment (and since you are a medical transcriptionist, you probably know all about diagnosis codes). Some of your medical records would need to show mental health diagnosis.

Again, I feel for you, everything you described sounds tough. I feel for you, but keep trying things, if you qualify for SSDI, it would give you space to care for your future baby. That is a big job in and of itself. Of course, once you get your life in better order, your goal should be to eventually get a job rather than be on SSDI, but if you were awarded SSDI, it might give you some breathing room to work out some of the tough issues you face so that you can eventually become independent.

If you've failed at some jobs in the past, it doesn't mean you can't be successful at others. There are some jobs out there that just set people up to fail. They are the jobs that the corporations have to constantly find new workers to fill. There are just loads of people in this current economy that don't have good jobs.

We all fail at something. Just because you failed at one, doesn't mean you will fail at another job. The failure may have even taught you about things you need to be more studious about. Just because one employer said you did a bad job doesn't mean that another might not find you to be a great fit!

Sorry for the long response. I'm older, my spouse and I have worked in a lot of different jobs and there are just a lot of ups and down that some of us face. You sound like are experiencing a down but it will get better

Sincerely-Myst