[rechu]

An old friend came back into my life recently; online because we live in different cities. We had been really close, then when I moved there have been times where we've had a lot of contact and time when it's been less.

She was feeling really down and was looking for someone to talk to and for advice. So, I helped her with that. I am starting to regret it.

Since that point I have realized that she has turned into a pretty obnoxious and arrogant person. When talking about leaving my last job, which was a toxic, bullying environment, she managed to work in how HARD she works at her job, implying that I hadn't worked hard or didn't deserve success like her. If anything I worked too hard for how little I was paid and the lack of appreciation I received for creating my area from scratch.

Oh, and apparently I should be over everything about the last job by now, according to her. I was bullied, was disrespected professionally and eveng gaslighted by my boss and I am still processing some things. Ironically, when she was all sad and asking for help, she clearly had not let things go from years ago.

Then, I didn't fawn over her vacation pictures so she accused me of ingoring her. In addition to me being unemployed, my husband just found out he may be laid off. We have reallly been through hell in the past year. Apart from my work problems, my husband was on workers' comp for stress leave for 6 months due to an awful work situation as well. We made it through, but it put a lot of strain on our relationship because he was not well mentally. What we need most in the world is a vacation, but with all the uncertainty, it's not a good idea. So, yeah, I am really not in the mood to comment on her 10 daily vacation posts and pictures. It's not something I need to see right now.

Thanks for listening to my rant. I am working on doing the fade out. I don't need someone like that in my life. It's sad, she used to be a nice person, but now she seems just so selfish and judgemental.

[Skeezyks]

Hello rechu: The Skeezyks sends warm wishes your way with the hope circumstances will begin to improve for you & your husband soon.

[rechu]

Thank you .Me too. This last year has put me through the wringer.

I ended up blocking her since she sent me more similar messages. I realized that a little while back she was annoyed because I wasn't responding to her posts as well. She really just has to have all the attention on her. My mom exhibits a lot of attention-seeking behavior, and has narcissistic tendencies, as does a lot of her family. I really hate that type of behavior and refuse to give into it. Then she sent me a nasty message through my website about how my life is off track and she was "just trying to help". So I had to block that too.

She only resumed regular contact after seeing a post about how I had quit my job. I really think this was intentional. Like she saw I was vulnerable and wanted to lord over me how great her career and her life is compared to mine. I guess she needs to feel superior.

Plus, I remembered that once she got a job and left the place where she had worked with me. She basically shunned me and a few other co-workers because she thought the work she was doing was better than our jobs. I had nearly forgotten that incicent. She then approached me about letting bygones be bygones and I let her back in. Big mistake!

I feel such a relief now that I did that.

[nonightowl]

This sounds like something similar I went through. I heard from a "friend" who just stopped talking to me after she was out of work.

I regret this but I gave her another chance. Once she found work, (and I didn't), she was "too busy" to keep in contact with me.

When I heard from her years ago, "red flags" went up but I ignored them. I'll never do that again. She's out of my life for good now.

If she was REALLY my friend, she wouldn't have abandoned me. Yes, I feel it was abandonment. But I bet if she's out of work again, she'll try to contact me. But she won't get a response. She's not even worth saying "**** you" to.

I don't know what she wanted from me to suddenly appear out of blue after 4 years or so. But whatever it is she's not going to ever get it again. Not from ME. *****

[rechu]

^^Yeah. I think in both cases these people only show up in our lives when there is some benefit to them. In my case, she definitely wanted an ego boost to feel superior to me especially financially/career-wise since I am having a difficult time in that regard.

Interesting that in some of our conversations, it sounds like she is really alone. She doesn't get along with her mom or brother. She's single, and not by choice. She also doesn't seem to have close friends. If she treats other people the way she treated me, it doesn't surprise me that other people would pull away too. I mean some people don't get along with family or are single by choice (or not), etc. But to really not have any close relationships makes me think that it has to do with how she treats people.

She is definitely not getting another chance from me.