Coworker's strange and avoidant behavior

Another coworker has been acting strange lately. We are both paraprofessionals, along with a group of others at a high school. So this is what she is doing, and I am not hating in her, I am just confused and concerned. Lately she has been very short with me. If I try to talk to her about anything during a break, whether it is work related or just asking how her day or weekend was, she will give one word replies or not respond at all.

Also she will go great lengths to avoid when she leaves to go to another classroom for the last few minutes before she is done for the day. Like instead of going out a classroom we are all in amd down the steps right by it, she will walk the opposite way. Going through another classroom that is connected to the one we are in, comes out of that one, passes up the room we are all in, and goes downstairs. Nothing wrong with it, just seems off since she never used to do that. It is as if she would much rather inconvience herself rather than take the quicker way out.

It is also between classes so it is not like she is distracting anyone by going out the much quicker way. Also during times we are in the room together, she just acts indifferent. And also complains about a specific student a lot when she does talk to me. I sometimes wonder if she has something against me or not. And the weird part is, she will do all of that, but then offer a ride early in the morning to go to a prayer group. So it is like, she is okay with offering a ride when she clearly doesn't have to, but then feels the need to act indifferent during the day. And I found out that apparently I am not the only one who noticed.

I over heard a supervisor and another coworker talking about her strange off behavior and were concerned as well. So I don't know if it has to do with me or just like that towards everyone and she is just taking it out on me the most. And this was when no students were around. We never talk about concerns in front of students. I've had other people in the past do that to me. They will treat me indifferently, yet still offer to do things for me as if they liked me. So I don't know if this coworker has something against me or if she is just taking out her frustrations about something on me the most. I've noticed she may be somewhat different towards everyone else, such as not smiling or just complaining, but nowhere as much as she is towards me.

And the times we do talk, usually during early morning car rides to a prayer group, she complains a lot and just seems unhappy and angry. So I don't know what it may be, if she does have something against me then I don't know why she offers to drive me. The prayer group is not even mandatory, just a optional twenty minute event to go to early in the morning. So she could easily just stop taking me and I can either find another ride or just simply not go anymore. I never asked her to drive me, I told her I would find a way myself but she really insisted on driving me. I told her she really doesn't have to do that, especially if she doesn't want to since I hate inconvience get other people and possibly making them feel used. So yeah, it is confusing. I don't know if she has something against me but is afraid to say so if it is something else and is just taking it out on me the most.

I understand she could also be tired, I am tired at the end of the day too since we all work with autistic students which can be energy draining. I don't try to talk to her when she is doing something with a student, only when she is free. So I have decided to give her some space and just let her initiate any conversations for now. I did that a few days ago. We went practically a whole day without speaking, but then at the end of the day, she came up to me and asked if we were still on for the next morning's prayer group. I hope she is not doing that out of feeling obligated to do so. I can always tell her again she doesn't have to drive me, which maybe I'll do this week. I already told her that but I can do it again just to remind her.

Once again, I am not mad at her, just confused at why at times she seems really off and indifferent, and obviously avoiding, but then she acts like she likes me and wants to drive me once a week in the morning. She starts early in the morning anyway so it is not like she has to get get up earlier than usual. In fact, I am the one that gets up earlier. I don't start until mid morning so I am technically the one getting up way earlier than I have to. And I am perfectly okay with it since I am an early bird anyway. I know she could be going through something personal, or she could just simply be unhappy with the job and is showing it through actions. I just don't know why she would treat me indifferently the most and wish I knew if she is just upset or angry about something else and is taking it out on me or if she actually doesn't like me for some reason but still feels obligated to offer rides once a week even though I told her she really doesn't have to. It is not mandatory and is not even work related.

She told me she lives less than a minute away from my house and that my house is actually conveniently on her way to the school so I don't know if that means she is just doing it out of politeness or something else. I know coworkers don't really become friends, but at the same time, it can still be concerning when someone starts acting different and other people begin to notice too. Any advice on how to handle this? Am I doing the right thing by giving her space and letting her initiate any further conversations? Do you think I should just not go to the prayer group this week so she doesn't have to take me? Do you think she has something against me or just taking out other personal problems on me? Just confused and need suggestions.

Have you tried just asking her politely how everything is going with her? I mean, I think you could politely say, during a car ride, "you seem a little quiet lately, is everything okay?"

I think until you ask her outright, you shouldn't speculate what could be going on. It could very well be something personal that is causing her to act this way. Something could be going on in her personal life that is causing her to sort of shut down socially.

Good luck,
Seesaw

Thank you, yes I will try that.

If others notice it to, you can assume it's her problem, and has nothing to do with you. Try not to let it upset you, and above all, don't take it personally.