Working when older & working less...anxiety/questions

OK. Let's see if I can sum this up. I am now 64yo.
I have been an RN for many years, most of those years, and before that, I have worked full time. Over the past couple of years, I have cut back to doing what I enjoy most---sub-school nursing, and summer/other camp nursing.
My plan was to work an 8-10week summer camp (residential with housing etal provided---I've done this several summers), and travel much of the rest of the year.
I have been sidetracked into working per diem for schools, and have developed anxiety around applying for camp jobs....even sometimes turning down school work even though I get positive feedback consistently (so far). I did have an uneasy camp experience that wasn't terrible/and wasn't anyone's fault but for some reason the anxiety has settled in and GROWN.
When I went online to apply for health insurance, I was notified my income is so low that I qualify for Medicaid. But, I do have some savings, do not want to be on Medicaid (will qualify for Medicare next year and that is fine) as I can work more/pay for my health care at this time...
My dilemma is whether to focus on the summer camp (I just partially completed an application or three) or look for a full time job for the next year or so....there are some jobs I will no longer accept. well, the third alternative is to spend the money on a used travel-friendly vehicle (not an RV, I love to camp and don't want hookups) and leave what is left here behind...(things)...
just GO, do it....take a flying chance at what I have wanted to do for years...
What is going on in my head is something like this "....look at all those young faces, you are too old, your teeth are bad, you will feel even worse about yourself...you should just get a vehicle and travel, get over it, do what you want, but what do you want, is it OK? ....I fear dependency, I fear failing, I fear trying right now....and tomorrow, I will be subbing, it will likely go well as usual but I notice I am feeling uneasy at work....I have been on the same meds for years, fluoxetine and clonazepam ---no changes---no physical health problems (except the teeth...and others don't really seem to notice, or if they do don't say anything...) ----It is as if unless I am full time, I become frightened...and I think I may also be losing interest....
I think I am just looking to write this out, get some support, suggestions...
feeling so uneasy....(nothing new but more persistent/intense)---
sometimes, i think i should just get a low wage job that will keep my busy physically, and not challenge my mind....

My wife and I made some summer trips several years ago while realizing they might not be possible in our days ahead, and now today we have those memories in place of those things we truly can no longer do. One of my brothers and his wife sold their house a few years ago while thinking they could spend their remaining days in a motorhome, but now they have abandoned that in favor of managing their own motel and campground. While keeping even your future futures in mind, I would suggest trying to be certain you do not miss any you hope to have.

Sounds like you would really like to travel. If you can afford it why not take off and do what you want.

Of course, if you need to work a little longer but don't want the stress maybe a low wage job would be the way to go.

I don't know. I went on disability when I was still 61 because of stress and anxiety. I would love to travel but money is tight.

So I think you should enjoy the years to come. Go with what makes you happy.

Hello winter4me: I'm 68 & haven't been employed for quite a long time. I don't have any suggestions for you. But I simply wanted to wish you well as you contemplate your options.

Thank you all. This is helpful. I think I can actually sit down, using the feedback, after the holidays and list pros/cons....even, perhaps make up my mind. I know deep down I lean to just going either before or after this summer...hey, I don't really have much to lose...
and, the longer I put off a decision, the shorter my time, and resources grow....
Any and all suggestions/thoughts/experiences welcome. What a great community this is.

I'm only 36 so my advice on this is limited BUT what I will say, is that chances only come along once in a while. If you have the chance to try something, like traveling the country in an RV type vehicle, and you want to try it...then do it. Make it happen. Don't be sitting on your death bed wishing you had done something.

Seesaw

I'd go for the travel. You want to do it, you have the money, you are healthy enough for it right now. Why not? If it turns out you don't really like traveling or need more money than you thought, you can get a job then -- it sounds like you are in demand...

I did this a few years ago, it was great. I spent a few months in Europe, a couple months traveling the US in a used travel friendly vehicle -- no hookups for me either, although that was all that was available in some places. I found that it was really hard to give up the day job but after I did it I never wanted to go back...

Is doing a summer camp and taking off to travel in the fall an option? Or taking a few months to travel in May and June and then doing a camp? Where do you want to go?