[Mapper]

Nothing gets under my skin more in this life than people telling me just how quiet I am. Trust me, I know! I've been reminded of it since kindergarten. Nearly every report card I'd get I'd freak out, not that it was going to say I wasn't doing well in school, because I did fine, but that there would be some mention of just how quiet I was. Usually it was "Mapper is so quiet and doesn't volunteer easily" "Mapper is extremely shy" "When Mapper does speak up, she has something valuable to say".

I have coworkers who make a joke thinking they are being funny "Oh well we know what a chatterbox and troublemaker Mapper is". God I just want to scream! Then I got my review yesterday. Glowing review, but then there was that one line that made me want to scream "She can be quiet in our meetings but speaks up when she has ideas – and they’re often very good ones!" For anyone who isn't shy, they have no idea just how much those words hurt. Nobody ever makes fun of the loud people. Everyone likes the loud ones--they are never considered weird like the quiet people are.

I have always been and always will be a quiet person. I didn't grow up in a family of people who were big talkers and we certainly never had the yelling drama that a lot of families have.

[seesaw]

Have you told your co-workers that this bothers you? Did you talk to your boss about that review and what you think it should say instead?

[Mapper]

Originally Posted by seesaw

Have you told your co-workers that this bothers you? Did you talk to your boss about that review and what you think it should say instead?

No...I'm too non confrontational and too quiet to tell people what I think. I KNOW I'm quiet. It's not a wrong thing to say, but why is it pertinent to my work? I do a great job. Why does that have to be brought up in a review? I bet the ones who are outgoing don't get anything said in their review of "You're really gregarious and you should put a kibosh on that".

[Yzen]

Mapper, Have you seen the TED talk by Susan Cain? She wrote the book "Quiet" and it is refreshing to hear someone talk about introversion and being quiet like it isn't a flaw.

[eyesclosed]

It's really a good thing to be like you I'm the same usually because the conversation is not interesting at work the gossip and the other drama just a load of dirty laundry. If I meet someone who likes fishing or other things i used to enjoy that makes me speak. I think a lot of people would rather be around you than some loud mouth.

[The_little_didgee]

Originally Posted by Mapper

No...I'm too non confrontational and too quiet to tell people what I think. I KNOW I'm quiet. It's not a wrong thing to say, but why is it pertinent to my work? I do a great job. Why does that have to be brought up in a review? I bet the ones who are outgoing don't get anything said in their review of "You're really gregarious and you should put a kibosh on that".

I think extroverts have no clue how to deal with us. We make them uncomfortable, because they find our "lack" of verbal and non-verbal expression disconcerting. Basically they cannot make sense of us.

Note that I'm also quiet and only really speak up if I need to or have something worthy to add to the conversation.