[Branches]

Hi, everyone! I'm brand new to the forum and this current problem is the reason I joined.
Lately, I've been having lots of trouble with my job. I'm trying to develop my own private practice in the mental health field and this is what I've been struggling with recently:
- Totally unmotivated. Can't even get myself to do basic work tasks.
- See myself as total failure. Seems like I haven't accomplished anything in the last two years of starting this and maybe even in my entire life.
- Doubting my abilities. I don't think I can do things that I've done before and now have more experience with (e.g. managing website, working with clients, writing, etc.), not to mention newer things that I am not experienced with.
- Feeling very overwhelmed. Tasks seem endless, time seems too little, everything seems like it's above and beyond my capabilities.

I think I may be burned out because I haven't had more than 7 planned off days in the last two years. I even think 7 is an overestimation. I don't take weekends off and I usually work more than 8 hours a day. The last two summers (since I started this thing) I took my laptop on vacation and worked from there. I've cut my social life to a minimum and only started scheduling pleasurable activities since the beginning of 2017 but seem to tend to skip them, especially in recent weeks. And the zinger is I don't even make any money... like none. Everything I make goes into reinvesting into the practice. I live on money that is not my own which makes me feel even more like garbage and like I'm failing.

Now that I'm writing this I realize how absurd it is! In my mind it didn't seem that bad and I doubted how and why I would even be burnt out. After writing it down it makes more sense.

When considering burn out, I decided that I need a self-care plan. But everything that sounds like a good self-care activity seems sooo overwhelming and like just another task on my to-do list. I still managed to pick a couple of things though: 1) cutting back work hours to no more than 6 a day, 2) practicing compassionate and soothing self-talk, 3) writing in a forum (yey!), 4) picking up exercising again, 5) journaling.

I'm just now starting out with all this (started working less hours last week and just decided on the other things today) and am not feeling noticeably different. I'm wondering if it will work and if this is really the issue. I think I'm just being spoiled and making this whole burn-out problem up

Really hoping to hear your thoughts on this. I'd appreciate any experience, reassurance, advice or commentary that you're willing to share. I need some fresh eyes on this situation.

Thanks for taking the time to read!

[Ukny96]

I can totally understand your situation and do believe that this is about how anxiety and depression are distorting the way you are looking at this situation. In my job, I feel like there are a million things to do, most of which never get done. This is turn makes me feel inadequate that I cannot do them while my colleagues seem to find the tasks easy. I then question what is wrong with me and feel bad about myself. I have decided that a work change is necessary and I am about to resign having been offered a new position. I'm scared about the new job--will I feel as inadequate? But I have to do something as i can't bear it here anymore. I would suggest for you that your idea to modify what you are doing sounds like a good idea, or a total revamp may be necessary. Have you spoken to others in your field about how they became successful running their own practice? Maybe do some networking. Good luck. Sounds like your ideas are really good.

[ladytiger]

I feel the same way a lot of stuff to do it feels like I can't get anything done and I feel bad. Right now I've been evaluating my current job been here for almost 9 months and mentally I'm so burn at the end of the day because of the amount of work I do for the same pay.

I'm looking for a change a job that pays good but less stressful. You sound like you're really burned out I can understand that's a lot to manage

[sans]

Hi Branches
And welcome to PC! I'm sending my support to you and think your self care plan sounds like a great starting place.
Using gratitude and mindfulness really does help me when I get tangled up. Taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture and really seeing the setbacks as a learning guide have often helped me to be at peace with where things are at present moment.
And lastly balance seems to be the key to harmonious living.
Sans

[MedicWolf]

This can be some depression secondary to burn out. At least it appears that way in my opinion. I have had the outstanding the experience of being forced off work for 5 days to quell a stress induced hypo-manic state. You need to take time for yourself as a provider and a person. What would you tell those that present to you in your current state? Now follow those guidelines that you set forth. sans mentioned taking a step back. I recommend that as well, but also list the good with the bad that you already feel and list every possibility. Take some time, even if its only ten minutes a day and do something you enjoy, personally i enjoy practicing mindfulness.

[Leyla]

hi branches,
yes it does sound like you are burnt out especially since you haven't taken a vacation since God knows when. and working constantly to without a break can be exhausting and bring on the depression and anxiety you talk about.

we all need a balance between work and play... and the SELF CARE part is very impt so its good you recognize it.

so its good you are evaulating what needs to be cut back and what you can truly work with.

[sans]

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/every...tive-pep-talk/

[Open Eyes]

I'm trying to develop my own private practice in the mental health field and this is what I've been struggling with recently:
- Totally unmotivated. Can't even get myself to do basic work tasks.
This sounds like you are experiencing depression because of your overload and the stress that is creating in you.

- See myself as total failure. Seems like I haven't accomplished anything in the last two years of starting this and maybe even in my entire life.

This overload, especially when working in the Mental Health field can bring out feelings of inadequacies you have in your own history. It is actually not unusual that people in this field have their own challenges that drew them into this field to begin with. So, this "burnout" does happen and it's not unusual for people in this field to need therapy for themselves along the way. This can add to increasing one's ability to help others so it doesn't have to mean you are actually a failure.
- Doubting my abilities. I don't think I can do things that I've done before and now have more experience with (e.g. managing website, working with clients, writing, etc.), not to mention newer things that I am not experienced with.

This is due to the overload you are in now where priorities have changed and you simply don't have enough time to cover it all. It sounds like you need to restructure so you are not burning the candle at both ends.

- Feeling very overwhelmed. Tasks seem endless, time seems too little, everything seems like it's above and beyond my capabilities.

This means you are taking on more than you can handle, time to step back and make time for yourself.

When someone has their own business, this can create the kind of overwhelm you have described. Once a person takes on "all" the responsibilities that being in business for one's self requires, the work load can be a lot to deal with. And yes, often when having one's own business and working on establishing that business, they don't earn as much as if they were an employee that doesn't have to deal with all the overhead that is involved with owning one's own business. It takes time to establish a business to where it actually shows the earnings where the owner gets a sense of gaining and some freedom. Owning and operating a business is not for everyone, it's hard and takes a lot of patience and management skills, and patience in "learning" how to develop these managing skills too.

[seesaw]

I admire that you are trying to do so much.

I also agree that you sound like you are in a depression, not just a burn out.

My other advice, having been exactly where you are, and having lost my job because of it, I think you are trying to give yourself too many things to achieve for your self care. I think you need to simplify it down to "I will do one nice thing a day for myself." Whether that's exercising or positive self talk or whatever, just simplify it to one nice thing a day.

I think you will find more success that way, and then you can build on that.

Good luck,
Seesaw

[Branches]

Hi, everyone! Thanks so much for all your great replies!

@Ukny96, sad to hear you're going through some tough work times of your own If I could give a suggestion, it would be to check for depression. I quit my last job (before starting the current private practice) because I was totally depressed and didn't know it. I thought it was the job that was running me down but it turned out not to be. It was a great job, and if I hadn't blamed it for my slump, I would probably still be doing it. Not saying that it couldn't possibly be the jobs fault in your case but just wanted to share my experience, so maybe you don't get caught in the same trap in case it is. Hope you find your own solution soon!
Concerning your question, I've spoken with my business partner. He's been very supportive in my embracing more self-care. Also, reached out to a couple of friends with entrepreneurial experience in other fields. Also, very supportive. I think it helped because everyone was pushing me to really give self-care a go and normalized the whole experience for me. If they hadn't, I probably would have felt too guilty to do something different.

@ladytiger, thanks for the empathic reply. Hope you feel better about work soon. It can be incredibly draining, given how much of our day we spend on it!

Hey, @sans, thanks for the thumbs up on my self-care plan. I made some modifications but kept it pretty much like I posted here. I'll share what I've been doing and how it's been going in the last paragraphs. Also, read the article. Inspiring. Would love to have the book. It sounds just like the title suggests - very pep-talky but in a good way.

@MedicWolf, very sound advice indeed! Recently, I heard Elon Musk say that having your own company is like having a child. It really, really resonated with me because that's exactly how I've felt since starting this. And I've always thought that a mother should (SHOULD!!!) practice very intense self-care and I preach that very passionately. But I haven't thought of a business-owner needing self-care until I came across that metaphor. So that's the advice I would give and, as you said, follow. Thanks!

Thanks, @Leyla, your comment is very lovely and supportive and I appreciate it! Very nice to have someone like you give me a push in the right direction

Hi, @Open Eyes, my first thought was depression, too, because I have a lot of history with it and sure sounds like it judging by the symptoms. But it didn't feel exactly like depression and that's why it took me so long to act on it because I was doing my usual depression relapse prevention stuff and it wasn't helping one bit. So I had to look for something different. Personally, had never been burnt out and it wasn't on my radar. After treating it as burnout, I finally started to see some changes which I think is a telling sign. Also, you're right, having your own business is very demanding. I haven't been taking care of myself appropriately for that kind of responsibility and high-demand situation.

@seesaw, thanks for your very caring comment! That's very sound advice! I kind of took it day by day as you said. Finally I built up to having 6 habits that I keep track of in this cool app I found called Habits. The app really helps me not get overwhelmed and be motivated to do the task so I can cross it off for the day. Would recommend it to anyone looking to build some new healthy habits.

Here's my little update on the situation: I made some changes that have been doing me good so far. Picked up exercising and meditation again (it's been a long time since I'd done either seriously which is a shame because I love them both). Also, took 5 complete days off for Easter and I started working no more than six hours and am practicing compassionate self-talk every day. And ditched social media completely (wasn't too restorative, just made me feel even more blah and unproductive) and started reading a lot more. I feel like I have a ton of free time now which is great and I've even gotten a bit more productive. Still not completely loving the work but I'm seeing some positive change and I hope the trend continues when more time passes and exercise and meditation start to have even more effect (it's only been a week so far). Will probably be posting an update.

Thanks again to everyone for sharing your thoughts! It made me feel very supported and positive about my experience which seemed a lot more bleak when I last posted. Sending you my gratitude and kind thoughts (I know have a lot more of them)