Frustrated with a work friend..

I have a work friend who is being abused at work. Her boss dislikes her and wants her gone. When she first got this boss I told her to leave. They had worked together for years but he, in a way, under her. So he knew of all her mistakes and he had to deal with them and couldn't say a thing.

Last year she went on vacation and somewhat passive aggressively.. didn't do her work. She just left. He flipped and she got disciplined somewhat severely. Including forced leave without pay as a sanction.

My friend is a little spoiled. She works at a location about 4 minutes from her house and refuses to do any other job. At their wits end.. management offered her to do a job that would allow her to stay were she was... but check on work all over the state from that location. The issue... she would need to take a pay cut. Not a ton, just about 10 K gross. She refused.

Because of her inability to do the job right, her boss objected to his work and asked to have some of it taken away. He was granted it and some of his work was pawned off on me.

This week someone quit in a job that could allow her to get away from this boss and work remotely. It would again involve a pay cut. But I did the math and a 10K gross cut would really be about a 5 K after taxes. With adjustments to tax deductions... she could come out just about the same.

She refuses. She claims she can't afford it. I don't see how that is possible. I made her agree with me that she can't do a perfect job forever and as soon as she messes up... he will insist she be fired. She agrees.

I have been so supportive because I used to have a boss like this. The difference I did all my work. And no one would offer me another job. So am I am done with her. I don't want to be unsupportive but she really made her bed and refuses to leave it.

It sounds like this will come to a head at some point. Either management will figure it out and let her go, or she will come to her senses and exit gracefully.

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I don't see her as being abused; I see her as repeatedly being offered ways away from the situation and repeatedly making choices that keep her where she is.

Whatever happens is on her.

Honestly, to me it sounds like she's lucky to still have a job there.

She is being abused. Her boss is ridiculous. He has no interest in keeping her and sets up situations that don't have to be that way... but are. One of the most insidious things about a bully, I have found, is that their behavior sets up a failure to get your job done and they control it.. so it looks like you.

That being said, she is to blame for some it. And that is why I think I am done.

I told her that she cannot be perfect for the next 10 years and the next time she messes up... he will fire her. It is only a matter of time. But she won't move.

In fact her boss got a promotion, he is Chief of his division, and he will have even more power so...

I hate to ever support a bully and her boss is a bully (and a sexist too) but she won't change.

This is what you said about her "My friend is a little spoiled. She works at a location about 4 minutes from her house and refuses to do any other job. At their wits end.. management offered her to do a job that would allow her to stay were she was... but check on work all over the state from that location. The issue... she would need to take a pay cut. Not a ton, just about 10 K gross. She refused.

Because of her inability to do the job right, her boss objected to his work and asked to have some of it taken away. He was granted it and some of his work was pawned off on me. "

Why are you defending her if she doesn't do her job, refuses to take an out when it presents itself, and leaves things undone before going on vacation?

I'm not seeing how this is a coworker/employee who deserves protecting. Maybe there is more to it than what you have written or we are misunderstanding you. If she truly is being bullied, all you can do is be a friend to her. I would stay out of it because you don't want to be associated with someone they are getting ready to fire. They may associate her negligence with you and target you the way they did her. So I would be as much of a friend as I could be to a coworker - remember, she's just a coworker - and let the chips fall where they may. Remember, this is all business, and everyone knows that companies are out for themselves and would enslave their workers if they could. So if she isn't willing to protect herself, then that's her choice.

You aren't responsible for her choices, and you can't change her. All you can do is be a supportive friend.

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