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#1
Jun 07, 2018, 05:31 AM
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A couple months ago I asked about/pointed out/accused my boss of a double standard between been and a coworker. He flipped out. I was called into the office 1.5 hours away. My boss had a list of things I had been doing wrong, and I would now have to work in the office instead of work from home. I disagreed with the list he presented. He would take one instance or one of my shortcomings or mistakes, completely blow it up, and add 3-4 more supposedly similar incidents. The list was 95% ******** and I couldn't stand for it. So I politely disagreed. That made him flip out even more. I've never seen a manager lose their cool so quickly and get so petty so quickly. He then called a second meeting to review what I thought of his list. He expected me to roll over and accept all of it. I again politely disagreed. He get way more pissed, to the point where he was about to hang up the phone.
So I've been driving 3 - 3.5 hours a day to the office 120 miles round trip. I'm still doing my job. The boss keeps up with his criticism of most everything I do. For the first 1.5 years at this job he would just tell me I was doing a good job and that I'd get a promotion after 2 years. Then yesterday in our 1 on 1 he brought out a performance improvement plan. It was more of the same. Mostly fabrications and stuff taken way out of context. I was already prepared for him to lay into me about something so I just sat and listened, answering 'ok' where appropriate. This PIP is so full of unspecific requirements and infractions that it's more obvious than ever he wants me out of there ASAP, fired or quit. On the one hand I feel a ton of shame and guilt for this happening. But on the other hand I feel more strongly that I did nothing wrong, and that this workplace is just f#cked. It goes all the way up to HR. If it didn't, this guy would not still be a manager. He cannot communicate and discuss differences of opinion. It's his way or else. My coworkers all kiss up to him. He holds pointless meetings where I feel he just wants us to verbalize our dedication to him. It's really wierd. But this company is also way corporate. We have meetings just to plan more meetings. Very little gets done without 5-10 meetings. My boss wasnt like this when I started. Or I didn't notice it. With my mental health issues seeing the big picture is not my strong suit. But I do know I'm smart, I'm a good worker, I know how to work well with others and get stuff done. My last job of over 5 years and 4 promotions at a much smaller place is proof of that. I've interviewed with another small shop just like my last job, but they are taking FOREVER to get back to me. If I don't get that job I'll have to take a pretty big pay cut and just find a job fast close to home. This post is half writing therapy, and half reaching out for help. Anyone else been forced out of a job? |
 dsmith, hvert
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#2
Jun 07, 2018, 06:54 AM
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Yes, I've been forced out of jobs before. And it is happening to you. My recommendation is to stop disagreeing, or at least say "I disagree, but I will do as you request and address these issues" and just be as agreeable as possible while you find your next gig. You know you're on your way out, so just keep on a positive face until you get out. It will be easier and better for you in the long run versus being at odds with your current boss while trying to get out.
It shows really poor leadership on his part to call you into his office and claim all these ongoing problems. Problems should be identified at the start, not when a breakdown is completely underway. And he fails to see that as your supervisor, if you are making mistakes, that is HIS fault, for not being clear in his expectations. It sounds like he has very little integrity and that the entire organization has very little integrity as well. Good luck finding a new job. Hopefully something will turn up soon. Seesaw
__________________
 What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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#3
Jun 10, 2018, 01:24 PM
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That's good advice seesaw. A place called me Friday to say they were extending me a job offer and would email me the details on Monday. So I have to go to work Monday. I've thought of how to resign non-stop since then. Do I put in 2 weeks notice? Do I worry about burning bridges? I alternate between worrying bout my career and the retribution from quitting with no notice, to feeling completely justified in quitting with no notice.
My nerves are fried. I huddle in my cube and jump anytime someone walks past. I don't talk to anyone unless it's required for work. I just cant reconcile theses facts: 1. They put me on a pip, for reasons completely blown out of purportion, and for some completely BS reasons. Everywhere I've read online that a PIP means they want you out. And I want out too. Now that I fully realize they want me out I get why my boss has been such a **** to me. To get me to quit so they don't have to pay unemployment. **** corporate america. 2. I have new job! Why do I still so worried and anxious? Why can't I just relax? I have a plan that after I get the offer in writing for the new job, I will leave my badge and laptop in my desk drawer and simply walk out. THen I'll email my resignation letter to HR and my boss. But that still worries me. THere's so many what ifs. What if they find my new emplyoyer and bad mouth me. What if they call repeatedly for help on all the projects I've worked on? SHIIIIITE. I guess the right thing to do is tell them I quit and my last day is Wed. Thats because thursday is a department wide team builder offsite. No fing way I'm going to that. And That gives me 2 days to get them up to speed on everything I'm working on. But it kills me to have to give them even that much! THese coworkers have been backstabbers from almost the beginning. So I'm just rambling here but if anyone else has been though this let me know how you handled it. Thanks. |
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#4
Jun 10, 2018, 10:41 PM
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Quote:
__________________
What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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#5
Jun 11, 2018, 02:41 PM
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Do you have vacation time? Give your 2 week notice and take your vacation time.
I know you probably have an urge to give the old f-you I'm out of here, and that may be fine depending on how big of a city you live in and what industry you are in. It could also come back to bite you in the *** somewhere down the line. I know I have been bitter when co-workers and subordinates have left with only a couple of days notice. As for helping out the backstabbing co-workers, try and spend the time you're supposed to be passing on information just making conversation. You're still working with them, but not really giving up any detail. If I was being treated poorly where I work, I could probably write a few lines of code in one of our software products that would take them a long time to resolve. It would probably even take them a long time to realize something was wrong. Not that I'd do that. :-) Here's so many what ifs. What if they find my new emplyoyer and bad mouth me. What if they call repeatedly for help on all the projects I've worked on? Don't tell ANYONE you work with that you're leaving let alone where you're going. If they call for help, you're under no obligation to assist in any way. They could, however, hire you on as an independent consultant/contractor. If they need what you have bad enough, you may be able to name your price and THAT would really give your current manager a big slap in the ego. I wish you the best of luck, and hope the job offer comes in today for you.
__________________
Dust in the breeze it always comes Blocking out the Sun  Up from the Ashes a Phoenix flies https://psychcentralforums.com/creat...er-s-rags.html https://psychcentralforums.com/creat...innocence.html |
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#6
Jun 11, 2018, 05:41 PM
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Don't burn Bridges. That manager may not be there forever and if he/she ever leaves, you may have an opportunity to return if you wish. Even though you may feel you are only burning a bridge with your manager, your reputation with the company may be ruined in the process.
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#7
Jun 11, 2018, 08:24 PM
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I got the job offer today, and after accepting and making sure the offer was solid, I told my boss I was resigning and my last day would be Wednesday. He didn't act surprised. We've just had a ton of work get assigned to our team and at the same time a senior member of the team is out for a month. I told him I would try to get as much work done as possible by wed. But He didn't ask about what I was working on or anything. He said he had to go talk to his boss. He came back and said that his boss wants today to be my last day. He told me to shut down my laptop. He wouldn't look me in the eyes when I stood up from my desk. He asked for my badge and he followed me out the door and then shook my hand said he wished me the best. HA. **** corporate america. |
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#8
Jun 12, 2018, 06:43 AM
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You didn't give two weeks though, you only gave two days, so that's not much notice to make up for. Not losing a whole lot of income, really. At last you are out of it now. You gave notice, they didn't want you to say. Under the law, if a prospective employer calls them, they can only verify your title and dates of employment. Seesaw
__________________
What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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