[MooseintheReeds]

I had two separate Manic/psychotic episodes at two separate workplaces in my chosen career field. Thankfully it's been 1.5 years since the last episode and I've been unemployed for the last year. I might be starting two jobs in February: a part-time job in my career field and a full-time job in another.

For those of you with manic or psychotic episodes that happened to you at work. How do you get over the feelings of shame at having done things that are "crazy" while at work? How do you deal with gossips in your industry talking about how you are "loco" or just plain "crazy"?

Moose—I’m pretty lucky in that my employer was understanding and not a lot was said about it; they just told some people I had a medical issue and that was all. That episode was triggered by a drug I was taking for anxiety. I’m pretty skilled at blocking things out, but it bites me with anxiety I can’t tie to anything until I think very hard about it.

There is no doubt it is hard. The first time it happened to me I had no clue. Diet pills set it off. I was so embarrassed I quit my job. It worked out in the end, but it was tough to go through.

Are you seeing a therapist? It really helps.

Also, you might try posting this in the bipolar forum. You’ll get more replies there—it’s pretty active.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this

[bpforever1]

If I were you, I would try to focus on what you are taking as medications so you can prevent your manic episodes. I noticed that you are taking a low dose of vraylar and may need to increase from 1mg to 3 mg- 6mg which is the recommended dose for those with manic episodes. I have manic episodes too and take abilify about 12-15 mg daily. Sometimes, I take an extra dose if the maintenance dose is not working.

But, your question is about having episodes at work and the best solution would be to prevent them from occurring or to take an extra dose of vraylar if it occurs. If you already have had them at work and people know about it, then it may be difficult to stop them from talking about it. I know it hurts that others may shame you and treat you differently but the best thing to do is to tell your boss or manager about your illness and ask for accommodations. They should be understanding and work with you. If you don't want to be treated differently but want to work still, the best bet is to prevent these episodes and to have a solution to deal with them. Again, it seems as if you are starting out again. I would not tell your manager or boss about your illness unless you really have to do so. Unfortunately, although there are laws in place in America for those with mental illnesses, people are not as understanding and they may use your mental illness as an excuse to get rid of you or not allow you to do certain responsibilities at work given in your field. I would not disclose your illness upfront but only when necessary. Also, if your work is affected by your illness because it is too stressful, then you should do work that is not as stressful hopefully in your given field. I used to work in the medical field but it was too stressful. I asked for accommodations but it still did not work out because of my limitations with my illness. I am now teaching and it is much more doable for me. I don't have any episodes and am doing fine. I am glad to have left the medical field. You'd think the medical professionals would be understanding about mental illness, but they are not. I was called Hannibal Lecter from the Silence of the Lambs movie and was repeatedly shamed by others telling me I was psycho. Thus, I am glad I left. I don't tell a soul about my illness now. And, it is working out well for me. Best Wishes!!

[seesaw]

So I am not bipolar, but I have had PTSD episodes at work and I can speak about the shame of having an episode...My experience was very unfortunate. I had a flashback, became unable to function really. I went to HR and explained, and, as had been allowed the minimal times this happened in the past, since my disability was documented with them, said I was going to use sick time to go home for the rest of the day (which was only an hour). I was supposed to be in a meeting during that last hour, but I was barely functioning and barely able to speak so I also explained that to HR then left.

I got a reprimand from my boss for "walking off the job," which was not what happened. I discussed with HR what was going on and got approval to go home. I eventually was fired from the position and now have a lawsuit in process due to discrimination.

So regarding the shame: I wasn't so much embarrassed about what happened as worried that the person who I was meeting with at the time of the flashback would think that it had something to do with them or that I was merely being a jerk or rude or something. I sent her an email, because saying it in person is very difficult, and explained what happened, including explaining what happens to a person during a flashback, and how they aren't responding to their real surroundings but imagined surroundings. She seemed very understanding. Later she fired me. So, maybe she wasn't super understanding after all.

I would try not to feel embarrassed about it. It's not your fault. You can't control it. You can do things to cope with it, but controlling it is like saying you can control when someone has a seizure. If someone is shaming you for it, then they aren't a person whose opinion matters anyway.

Seesaw

[MooseintheReeds]

Originally Posted by seesaw

So I am not bipolar, but I have had PTSD episodes at work and I can speak about the shame of having an episode...My experience was very unfortunate. I had a flashback, became unable to function really. I went to HR and explained, and, as had been allowed the minimal times this happened in the past, since my disability was documented with them, said I was going to use sick time to go home for the rest of the day (which was only an hour). I was supposed to be in a meeting during that last hour, but I was barely functioning and barely able to speak so I also explained that to HR then left.

I got a reprimand from my boss for "walking off the job," which was not what happened. I discussed with HR what was going on and got approval to go home. I eventually was fired from the position and now have a lawsuit in process due to discrimination.

So regarding the shame: I wasn't so much embarrassed about what happened as worried that the person who I was meeting with at the time of the flashback would think that it had something to do with them or that I was merely being a jerk or rude or something. I sent her an email, because saying it in person is very difficult, and explained what happened, including explaining what happens to a person during a flashback, and how they aren't responding to their real surroundings but imagined surroundings. She seemed very understanding. Later she fired me. So, maybe she wasn't super understanding after all.

I would try not to feel embarrassed about it. It's not your fault. You can't control it. You can do things to cope with it, but controlling it is like saying you can control when someone has a seizure. If someone is shaming you for it, then they aren't a person whose opinion matters anyway.

Seesaw

Wow! I'm so sorry that happened Seesaw. Thanks for the reply it really helped!

[MooseintheReeds]

Thanks everyone for your replies!! It really helped!