[Mountaindewed]

I am dealing with a really rude coworker. She has an attitude about everything she’s never friendly or helpful. Last Monday she was trying to get by with a rack and she angrily kicked my garabage can to me because I guess it was in her way.

We have these bins we put empty cardboard boxes in, that are then rolled into the back to be thrown into the compactor. I had my own bin today. She was rolling her bin to the back, and when she passed me she threw two uncut boxes on top of my half full bin. It really made me mad. I wouldn’t have been as upset if she had cut the boxes up before throwing them in my bin. She didn’t say anything either. I’m upset because not only was it rude, but we have a quota and she was just creating more work for me because she was too lazy to cut up the boxes.

So when she got back with her empty bin (and again not saying anything about the two boxes) I yanked up the two boxes and threw them into her bin without saying a word. I then went and rolled my bin to the back. I could hear her talking angrily to another coworker, but I didn’t catch what she said. We ignored each other the rest of the day.

I have been bullied my whole school life. I just let people bully me too. I didn’t fight back, stick up for myself, or tell on anyone. I just let people treat me badly. I’m not going to deal with it anymore. This is work, not school, I’m an adult, She’s a coworker who gets paid the same as me. She’s not a manager.

I’m wondering if I might get in trouble. If she says something to a manager I’m going to tell the manager everything my coworker did to me.

I did ask for night hours. And I’m scheduled at night all next week. So hopefully I won’t have to deal with her quite this much for awhile.

How should I have handled the situation better? I’ve never responded to someone treating me badly before. It felt kind of good.

[seesaw]

Well, I think what you could have done was to actually speak to her about putting her boxes in your bin when they weren't cut up and expecting you to do her work for her. You don't have to do it aggressively, you can simply be assertive and say, "I'm sure you meant to take care of your boxes on the way back, but you forgot," and then give them back to her.

I would actually go ahead and mention these behaviors to your supervisor because to me, in my opinion, they border on violence and are not okay in the work place. She kicked a garbage can and she threw stuff in your cardboard box bin. Kicking and throwing things is not appropriate behavior. She could easily have ASKED you to move your trashcan out of the way or ASKED for assistance with her boxes if she needed it.

To me this behavior will only get worse and it's not acceptable, which is why I recommend now bringing it up to your supervisor. Are you new to this job or is she new? Have you worked together for a while and did this problem just start now?

Seesaw

[Mountaindewed]

I’ve been there for a month. I have no idea how long she’s been there. The problem started as soon as I started working there.

If you've only been there a month and she's been there longer, I would tread very carefully. Not to say that this is acceptable, just as a newcomer you don't want to create too many waves. I would talk calmly to her, and not react if she blows up, definitely keep your supervisor in mind but I would give her a chance first.

[Mountaindewed]

I’ve just ignored her these past few days.

I just can not deal with anyone being rude to me. When it happens my stomach drops and I get very hot. I feel sick to my stomach.

I’ve been told to just develop tougher skin, not to take things so personally, and to just let things go.

It’s rough though.

[Mountaindewed]

So yesterday I walked into work and she came in and started talking about how she “wanted to cut that girls head off.”

I can not even believe she would be saying that about me. So I don’t think she was talking about me. But with all the other stuff I’ve been going through these past few days, I felt kind of bad.

Again, why would she be talking about me when all I did was walk in the room?