[icantfold]

I graduated from a top tier university with a degree in finance in 2011. My parents were all about brand names. You have to go to a well-known university and get a job at a big name firm to be considered "successful" in life.

Up until searching for a job, I did most things right. I was a good kid in high school, got into college, did research and internships, and graduated with a pretty good GPA.

But I have crippling social anxiety. It stems from the fact that I'm mildly on the autism spectrum, but my parents didn't understand and had a way of ridiculing me for violating social norms that felt so punishing that I would rather avoid social confrontations than face punishment of a screw up.

And of course, social anxiety and job interviews or networking didn't go well together. Whenever I went to an interview, I was literally drenched in sweat by the end of my half hour, and I expressed myself like I was either mentally retarded or had a speech impediment. And so I graduated without a job.

Months went by, and I didn't see how I could get around this obstacle. It got to the point in which I was even too anxious to open up the document for my resume. And when friends and family offered to refer me to their employers, I just pushed them away because I was already convinced that I was unemployable.

So I started playing poker for a living.

It started off exciting, and I was truly passionate about the game. People mentioned that whenever I talked about the game in any shape or form, I couldn't resist smiling.

But years went by, my interest waned, and eventually poker even started making me a little anxious. In the past 2-3 years, I played with extreme minimal volume. I should have looked for a job starting early 2015, but I felt trapped. I was still convinced that I was unemployable, and at the same time it became more difficult to drag myself to the poker room when I needed the money.

The truth is, the past 2-3 years have probably been related to depression. My most obvious diagnoses are anxiety related, but I did end up feeling helpless and staying at home and doing nothing for extended periods of time. Employment feels impossible, and I'm becoming increasingly less tolerant of poker.

I wish I could get back in the job market now, but I don't know where to start. I have pretty much no professional network, because I made no efforts since I started playing poker. If I apply to jobs anywhere without referrals, I have almost no chance of getting interviews, because I look either sketchy or outdated on paper. I would have to either put poker on my resume which looks like a red flag to most employers or submit a resume with absolutely nothing beyond 2011.

It's almost impossible for me to get interviews with my type of profile. I know that if I do end up getting a job, I'll be grateful and treat it like it's the most important thing in the universe, but employers won't even give me the chance to explain myself.

[Skeezyks]

Hello icant: I'm sorry you are caught in this difficult situation. I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit. May I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!

P.S. I'll just mention I'm a retired vocational rehabilitation counselor. So what you wrote about is at least somewhat up my alley, so to speak. My thinking, with regard to this is that, first of all, what you may need to do is find some kind of entry-level job... pretty much any job... or barring that find some kind of more-or-less full time volunteer work to do & stick with it for a period of time so that you can develop a track record of successful work activity to show to future employers. It's likely going to take some time to dig yourself out of the vocational hole you're currently in unless you're just plain lucky & happen onto an employer who offers the type of employment you'd like to have & who is willing to take a chance on you. That could happen... but it may be a long shot.

Beyond that, I would suggest you see if there are job seeking skills classes you could sign up for. These are sometimes offered by government job services offices. And some community or technical colleges also sometimes offer them. There are ways of handling these sorts of situations as effectively as possible. But you need to learn how to do it & hopefully even have an opportunity to practice a bit. Of course there are also books you can buy. And I'm sure there is material on-line as well. One good source I'm aware of is JIST. Here's a link to their website:

Home | JIST Career Solutions

I don't recall you mentioning, in your post, if you're seeing a therapist in an effort to come to terms with your social anxiety. However, if you're not, that might be something to be considered as well. It may take a few tries to find a therapist you feel comfortable with. (Not every therapist works well with every client.) But if you can find one you feel comfortable with, it could potentially be helpful. Family therapist, Kati Morton, has a video on her YouTube channel on the subject of social anxiety disorder. Perhaps something Kati has to say may be of some benefit. Here's a link to that video:

[TerryL]

i did not work a permanent job for 6 years and more because i was crippled by guilt over the deaths of my pets. i also have anxiety about working with others as i have personal insecurities. but during the 6 years, i was able to temp to get some income. temping is a good way to get your foot in the door of a company. they can see what kind of worker you are like and you can see what the company is like. i have been offered permanent jobs via temping. another very good thing about temp agencies is you can tell them the true scoops of your personal situation/issues. most of them just want to help you find a job and they want to know where you are at so they can find the right job for you. maybe look for or ask for a job where you work by yourself if that might be more comfortable for you although those jobs are hard to find. of course there are downsides to temping, such as low pay, tedious assignments etc. but it was nice to have some income when i was emotionally fragile.

there are also social service agencies that help the disabled look for work, like goodwill etc. or what about a job where you help others?

and in case this might help, i have gone through many job interviews, i have often wished i could be totally honest about my issues with the interviewers. i tried that once and i told the truth about those 6 years and i am glad i did. the interviewers were very understanding because they said they were animal lovers also. but i did not get that job i think because i had mentioned one of the job duties seemed daunting. that was a mistake. i did not show them enough that i could do the job.

as skeezyks mentioned, perhaps therapy might help? to get to the source(s) of your anxieties. looking inwards and backwards has helped me.

and everyone is different. every employer and work environment is different. you just haven't found the right fit yet. i hope you will one day.

best wishes to you.

[seesaw]

So why couldn't you put on your resume for those 6 years that you were self-employed? And you could say professional card player, versus professional gambler. And then when they ask you, you can talk about how the game is about statistics and reading people, much like the world of finance...You don't have to talk about the thrill seeking or anything like that.

I actually think that you should try it out on your resume and try selling it for it's transferable skills and expertise and see where that gets you. You don't have to even state what your self employment was on your resume. Just write "Self Employed."

Whoever said that you would have to maybe start entry level is probably right, but I would suggest trying to submit a few resumes using it to your advantage rather than as a negative and seeing if that gets you anywhere first before assuming it's a problem. I mean, in a way it shows that you think outside the box and can think of creative ways to solve problems.

Seesaw

[hvert]

Having a six year gap on the resume is tough, but the professional poker playing is a story you could spin for an interview. It makes you interesting and memorable. You have a high tolerance for risk, a desire to win, and strategic thinking that lets you live for six years doing something a lot of people dream about quitting their day jobs to do.

Could anyone in your poker network help you get a job? What do you want to do? The poker and degree sound like a good fit for a smaller hedge fund.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by hvert

Having a six year gap on the resume is tough, but the professional poker playing is a story you could spin for an interview. It makes you interesting and memorable. You have a high tolerance for risk, a desire to win, and strategic thinking that lets you live for six years doing something a lot of people dream about quitting their day jobs to do.

Could anyone in your poker network help you get a job? What do you want to do? The poker and degree sound like a good fit for a smaller hedge fund.

The thing is, it's not a true gap. He was rightfully self employed as a poker player. Just because you are your own boss doesn't mean you're not working. I'm a freelance consultant and work for myself right now. That's on my current resume and it's completely legit. I haven't had any employers who didn't respect that I am able to make it work on my own and that also having a variety of different clients has given me wide expertise.

I am just saying, I don't view it as an unemployment gap. I call it self employment.

[Teddy Bear]

Put it down see what employers say at interviews welcome to PC

[twinkles7]

Hi I can relate. I've been out of full time work for 8 years. I've had one unsuccessful work full time work attempt in 2014. My life was a mess - I've made a lot of changes and progress with treatment and continued use of medication since then. When they say recovery is a slow progress they are not kidding. For the last year I've had a part time on call job that I like. I don't have to work when they call me if I'm not feeling up to it or I don't want to. So that has been for a year this month. It seems as if I keep somewhat busy I feel better (alot of the time) and have considered attempting full time work again. I don't know if I'm being realistic or not. My therapist that I see every week is very much against me going back to work full time and losing my SSDI benefits.
Alot of this comes down to money and the lack of it and the fact that I'm in my mid forties and I feel that if now now when?? It's such a hard decision I don't know what to do.