[seesaw]

So this is it...I have made myself a job instead of begging someone else for one, and it's going great. I have clients, I have new client meetings every week. I'm getting referrals, I'm building a network. People love the work that I'm doing and think it's a great service.

I call my mom to update her on the big new client I got, a major player in medical research at a large institution known nationally, and how this client was opening new doors for me. I told her how excited I am about my work and loving it, and how motivated I feel.

I told her I don't even check the job boards really anymore because this is my job, and I'm making it. I run my own business and I'm surviving...

I'm hoping that she'll be happy for me or express that she's proud of me...I tell her it's quite possible, if things go very well, that I could make six figures this year.

But no, no encouragement, no expression of pride in her very smart and talented daughter. As usual, nothing I do is never enough for my family to think anything good of me. Her response was to let me know that the low-paying job at her employer is still open and I should apply to it.

Why would I want to sweat my *** off working for someone else when I can work for myself and make the same or quite possibly more?

It's just frustrating and a downer. I feel deflated. I was hoping my mom would be a cheer leader for me. I guess I forgot that it's impossible to please my family.

Seesaw

A large part of my therapy was addressing my need for approval and validation from my mother, and accepting that I would not get that - at least not in the way I wanted it, that my mother is not wired that way and is too old to change (although she loves me).

I understand how hurtful it is (although the therapy did help me accept it).

Your mom (like mine) may find it hard to give praise, she may also be a 'safe-player' who feels safer in a low paying job she feels is secure and so thinks it would be safer for you too. You know better Seesaw, you are capable and trust yourself, and in this case you are definitely the best judge of what is right for you.

[Yzen]

Some people believe success is getting hired by a company and working there for a lifetime. It appears to be safe. But, working for yourself is exciting and empowering. It shows you can create your own income and work the way you want to work and create your own safety. You have started something amazing and she should be very proud!

[bpforever1]

Seesaw, you've done very well!! Your mother sounds a bit like mine. She does not want me to get stressed from a full-time job and is just happy I even have some part-time jobs. I told her I wanted to work 60- hour a week and she was not encouraging about it. As you may know I was homeless once and hospitalized off and on for four years so she is happy that I'm working in some capacity but is never too supportive about my obtaining full-time work. Thus, I'm just thinking to not worry about money too much and do the jobs I like.

Seesaw—we are proud of you!! You have done an amazing job pulling through all the difficulties. It isn’t easy building clientele. That is truly fantastic.

I feel your pain. My mom told me right to my face that I would never make it in business because I’m a woman, and I needed to stop looking for a job, go to graduate school, and become a teacher!

I wish she could see me now. She passed away before I made to my level, but I was doing all right when she went.

[matt07]

Doesn't seem like you can look to your family for encouragement. Well then don't. Look to them as family only without encouragement. Get your encouragement from another important person in your life if you can. Then, you are free to spend your time with your family in a more relaxed manner without feeling upset that they won't encourage you. Cause you're not relying on them for encouragement. Because you already know anyways that they won't give you any encouragement. And you can just accept your mom/family as they are NSA, unconditionally. Love them because you are family.

Originally Posted by key tones

Seesaw—we are proud of you!!

Yes I truly wish more people would be Entrepreneurs. Don't be too hard on mom. Most parents want no uncertainty for their children and to see them "set" so they' don't have to worry. My parents were always very unsupportive of anything but 9 to 5 for someone else. Even if it was bad for me.