Co-worker struggle+illness struggle, HELP!

Hello lovely members!

I have a serious problem!

I am new to a job, and a co-worker is trying to make my work life miserable. Her attempts are constant and my manager knows about her and asks me to be patient and just ignore.

I have BPD, social anxiety and depression, and her behaviour just adds to my daily struggles.

Please how can I just survive work? I cry a lot and I just dwell on the self-hatred. She seems to prove my low self image ideas to be right.

I also self-harm, so I am scared of myself sometimes.

Hi Miley
I definitely have experience in this area, and I’m looking forward to some other members posting their experiences. Sadly for me, I’ve left many jobs because I can’t handle rude or even intimidating co-workers. I can tell you that’s probably the least sensible option to take, as it gets harder to face people when you run from your fears.
I did find this article that I thought had helpful advice. http://www.inc.com/john-brandon/10-w...e-at-work.html
Best wishes for you to feel comfortable with yourself at this job, and getting past the new period swiftly. When I look back, I remember situations where the person I liked the least ended up being my best friend at a job. Seems like some people have to make life miserable for the new people.
Keep me posted! Xo
Sans

I agree that running from fears isn't worth it in the long run.

I've worked around some interesting characters through the years, yes, years now, where I am currently employed.

Looking back at the beginning, I really placed myself into a mindset of no quit, looking at the weight of the benefits of working there compared to what I could be doing, compared to the reality of my life's situation compared to the hourly wage-which even then was rather ok. And add the concept of no matter where you go, there you are.

I focused on the job tasks themselves. I was on an ad, had just lost my mom and had just finalized my divorce. Had gotten the screw over by my mom's widowered in things I should have been handed down. Left car-less. Left without family to help my with child care type things, that kind of stuff. I wasn't up to anyone else's baggage at that point and boy wasn't there a ton of it to go around. Just let me do my work and go home was my mental state.

Don't know if that helps, but if your boss realizes she's a piece of work...she probably won't last. I saw that group leave over those first couple of years..is my point on that.

I have to agree with healingme4me, it isn't worth running away. I did that a lot when I was younger. I have been at my current job for 17 years now, but I tell you...things have been so rough lately that it's hard not to run away. I'm trying hard to focus on the positive things in life in general as well as the positive things at work. I wish I could say it's easy. It really isn't. I fail all the time. But I keep trying. If your co-worker is really that bad, I hope that life will work it out that she'll move on from your work place. It sucks that people are like that, unfortunately, life has taught me they are everywhere.

Is it just the one coworker that makes your work intolerable? When your manager says you should ignore it and be patient, does she mean she expects your coworker's behavior to change or is her idea that you should get used to it... or that she's going to be gone soon? TBH, I would ask the manager to clarify this, 'Boss, when you tell me to be patient, do you mean that this situation will change soon?"

Is there anything you like about the job, any good points? Do you like your manager or the schedule, the work or the customers, the money?

I don't know how you make it more tolerable. Like the posters above, I struggle. I eventually can't stand every job I've had. I've never stayed anywhere more than 4-5 years.