[hyacinth1]

I've posted on here various topics that I'm looking for a new job and have had interviews and I appreciate all your help and advice.

So why am I looking? Really bad and evil people at my current place.



Here's the situation - i got on a project with guys who are the biggest sexist, homophobic pigs I've ever worked with in my life. They have their own clique. They play straight with you in your face, but when they go on their smoke breaks or lunches, they are the biggest sexist and homophogic evil people I've encountered.

How do I play into this? Well they asked me to do some pretty lousy things to another coworker. Something very offensive that I really don't want to get into the details. I did not do what they wanted to do to this person, I refused to.

Instead I went to HR. HR contacted them and guess what, they have/had been looking now to get rid of me. They loathe me now. I am just a regular guy trying to do my regular job and make it home to my wife and kids by the end of the day. I"m not the guy who wants to play games or plan some revenge strategy on someone. I don't have the skills to fight them at their game because I've never played this game before and don't want to play their game.


These people are so spiteful and hateful against anyone that doesn't go their way they don't care if you have a family or anything , they just try to get you fired. They spread lies, gossip, make up fake emails, etc...

So how do you deal with these type of people? I'm pretty sure I'm going to be leaving soon and pick one of my offers, but afraid wherever I end up, I'm going to run into these type of people somewhere.


I feel going to HR was the right decision but at the same time the wrong one. HR needs evidence and all I had was my word against theirs. So HR could not do anything.


Any advice?

Originally Posted by hyacinth1

Any advice?

I'm so glad you asked.



The modern practice of psychological warfare begins and ends in office politics. Work is war, and don't forget it.

Destabilize their egos and boy's club reputations simultaneously. Seed their workspaces liberally with slim volumes of feminist poetry, framed Georgia O'Keefe imagery and crockeries of potpourri.

Take caution: the abrupt collapse of a conventional corporate division gets ugly.

[bpforever1]

I feel your suffering. I had a similar situation where my manager was spreading rumors about the employees and was very difficult to work with. Racism and discrimination were rampant. I had enough and wanted to just leave and did by moving far away from that job to another city where I would never have a chance to meet that person again. So, if you can, I would move far away from them. I would try to start anew and never look back.

[Skeezyks]

Here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on how to deal with toxic people at work as well as in general:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/3-simp...ships-at-work/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/life-...coworker-tips/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/5-tips-...rkplace-drama/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-diff...-to-cooperate/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/whats-...deal-with-one/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/7-tips...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-ways...ficult-people/

[ghtyui]

unfortunately, hr is there to protect the company, not you. so at the least you have to think about things from their perspective and know when to just keep your head down. its rough, alot of us have been in simmilar situations. just try to finish the project and get off those peoples radar. man its so frustrating that we cant just go to work and do a good job.

Your workplace sounds like mine. Office politics are nasty. I have reported things and felt regret over it later. The best thing I know to do now is ignore the wretched behavior and be friendly to everyone but also keep to myself and limit personal information. At the end of the day I’m always glad to see my dogs at home because most people just aren’t nice.