I can see that yet again, I have formed relationships with people at work that are not good for me.

1. My office mate. At first I tried to avoid her but then, I gave up. I mentioned to her that it is rude for her to just walk into my office but she just does. I keep my door shut all the time and, now everyone just walks in. In fact, I have had people walk in and start talking while i am on the phone. They walk in when others are in there... it is crazy. But the lady in the next office is insane. At the same time I have noticed lately her getting tired of me and doing things with me. So I am happy to let things end. But she keeps coming in... and I got it..she comes in because she can use me. My only hope is that she is going on a 2 week vacation soon.

2. My work husband. I call him that because he is having issues with his daughter that he always talks about and I feel sometimes like his wife. The only problem is, what do I get out of the deal? Well, last week he decided to bring his daughter in for me. Great. Nevertheless I was polite and invited them to see my work. This was the first time they had ever seen my work. I asked them how they liked it... he told me it wasn't very interesting and remarked that he hadn't seen me in such a position of power. My job is basically to wrangle everyone into submission like a press secretary at a press conference. But he never sees that because he basically works with me in another capacity when I return to my office.

I don't know what that was about but I have officially had it with him. He just uses me because I am the only one that will tolerate his BORING stories of woe with his daughter.

I don't know what it is with me. I think it is just that I am kind of laid back and if people want to talk to me I am happy to talk to them. No matter how stupid or ridiculous they are. But I feel like my mind doesn't see all the traps until it is just wayyyy too late and then I am stuck with them. And also I feel like I am single and everyone just feels I am the repository for all their crud because they feel like I shouldn't have any issues.

I also feel like I need an extended vacation from all the people I work with.. like a 2 year vacation or something, but I can't get it. There is no place to go.

[downandlonely]

Yeah, people often like telling me their problems too, whether I want to hear it or not. I don't really have any advice, but I feel your pain.

I struggled with this issue for a very long time. It really, really got to me and led to some conflict when I had to disentangle myself from people. I’m extremely careful what I say and do at work now. I hate how people just barge in and talk loudly. I’ve realized that’s probably always going to happen because I’ve spoken up about it and people still do it. But I definitely draw a strong line now with people who want to overstep their boundaries. I hate it when people at work try to dig and ask personal questions. I used to get anxious about that and now I just say nothing. I just don’t respond or I ask why they are asking me the question. It’s tricky but you can draw the line with people. I feel so much better. I don’t even share basic details about my life. Very little anyway. Just enough to be friendly and get along.