[Deejay14]

Well tomorrow at 12:30 finishes my second week of work at the shelter. I worked in human services for 30+ years so the environment is not the problem. In fact so far it's very nice. Yesterday I was truly out of my comfort zone trying to learn a part of Excel I will need to learn for my job. My supervisor does not teach. She lets you use her computer and go at it. That doesn't really work for me. I bought a book on Excel. (It's thicker than a Bible.), to see if there were how to's. That arrived today. I called the shelter and told the director I wanted to learn to do this well, sooner than later, so could I have a computer consultant come over to the s shelter on my dime. She is okay with that if not a little amused. I just want to be of help to her, not a hinderance. She is not at all upset with my performance so far a d has mentioned that some mistakes I made were because she did not explain it well. She has been so used to doing things by herself. This is the first time she has had an admin assist, and the first time I have been an admin assist.

The problem: I am back to needing benzodiazepines and sleep meds again. Way more frequently than I like. I can handle my anxiety during the day but night time is anxiety on steroids. I am upset with me that I did 30 minutes in 4 hours. I am frustrated and anxious beyond. I try using skills but the anxiety builds so quickly. I thought I could live with benzos or ambien on the night's before work but my anxiety was so off the charts I had to take a lot last night too. Any suggestions welcomed with open arms.

[Deejay14]

Today was slightly better. I felt better when my co worker who states she is good on Excel couldn't figure out how to get all the zip code numbers in cell. The first number kept kicking out. TGIF! Lots to learn. At least I am not feeling totally deflated today.

[rechu]

That's great to hear. I would imagine there's a lot to adjust to, but with time you can probably do it!

[Deejay14]

I don't know... I am trying to learn Excel...at least the parts that pertain to my job. Previously I had only heard of Excel, never used it! The learning curve is steep.

[ArchieAus]

Yeah excel can be a challenge if your not sure what's going on , your obviously a person with a great work ethic , getting books , thinking about paying for training to improve your skills . I guess that's underpinned by your 30 years previous high achievement in the human services role . If you get stuck on something just search it on the net . There's always a bunch of excel junkies on there that list at least 3 ways of doing everything your trying to nut out .
It's unfortunate your feeling a higher level of anxiety as I guess you try to measure up to your own expectations in the role . It's ironic that high achievers always put much higher expectations on themselves than most likely their supervisors do . Try to give yourself time to learn , cut yourself some slack if you make a mistake .

[Deejay14]

My computer guy but Excel on my computer so I have spent a few hours this weekend getting more familiar with it. I am confident I can do part of what I have to do tomorrow at work. Tomorrow will tell, but I learned more in three hours at home than I did with twenty hours at my job. I AM encouraged.

On the other hand my anxiety is building. I can feel it already. I took me two years to partially conquer Sunday night anxiety even after I retired. Now it is back in full force. Only 6 pm a d I already have chest pain. Skills are not helping. It's like a tsunami growing!

I am hoping once I have developed confidence in my job and used to being back at work in general this will not be as big a problem for me.

Oh hey, I just wrote a whole response and it didn't go through. Argh!!

I'll try this again, the shorter version lol. I'm glad you're getting better at excel. You go! I'm sorry to hear that you are experiencing anxiety! I experience anxiety too, and while I know the best thing to do is accept it and trudge on, because the wave of anxiety will calm down sooner or later, it sure is hard to remind myself of that when I'm experiencing it! I just want it to go away! What do you do to calm yourself? Do you practice DBT skills? I wonder if this is a learning curve / adjustment period for you. It's still quite new. Hugs.

[Deejay14]

Originally Posted by KnitChick

Oh hey, I just wrote a whole response and it didn't go through. Argh!!

I'll try this again, the shorter version lol. I'm glad you're getting better at excel. You go! I'm sorry to hear that you are experiencing anxiety! I experience anxiety too, and while I know the best thing to do is accept it and trudge on, because the wave of anxiety will calm down sooner or later, it sure is hard to remind myself of that when I'm experiencing it! I just want it to go away! What do you do to calm yourself? Do you practice DBT skills? I wonder if this is a learning curve / adjustment period for you. It's still quite new. Hugs.

Yes this severe up tic in anxiety I believe is due to not working in three years. I underestimated the effect of that! And I took job with a total new skill set. I could have applied for a human service job there but I wanted the challenge of learning something new. Again I underestimated the effect of this. More stress! I was a career social worker for 30+ years. Now, I have a job as an administrative assistant so this is all very new. It also is a new position to the shelter and so at this point not very well developed. I am disappointed I had to go back on some meds, but as I adjust I think all this will settle down and the meds will go again!

No I don't practice DBT skills with my anxiety per se. Interestingly enough I can keep my anxiety under pretty good control during the day, even while at work, but night time is just awful. Despite e everything I am going to try my best to stick this out. I know I will be able to learn what I need to.

[divine1966]

Listen I hate excel. So if I had to do excel more than once in awhile I’d be anxious all day too. It always stresses me out too. Hang in there. You can do it

[Deejay14]

General confidence is building! My computer guy is coming to work on Friday to teach me a little more of what I need to know of Excell. My boss even spent some time with me on the statistics. Very busy 4 hours! Less anxiety.

[mrsselig]

Originally Posted by Deejay14

Today was slightly better. I felt better when my co worker who states she is good on Excel couldn't figure out how to get all the zip code numbers in cell. The first number kept kicking out. TGIF! Lots to learn. At least I am not feeling totally deflated today.

Sounds like some improvement! Yay!

[Deejay14]

Last night was the first night I have gone without benzodiazepines since my first day. Even when not at work my anxiety was unbearable, so this is a big step. Previous to this i was a once a week user for two months after coming off everyday usage for years. It's hat was a lot of work. I am hoping when this calms down to go back to once/twice a week with the benzos and the Ambien.

If I can just hang in there for three more weeks. That is my goal date to be in the know on doing the monthly stats and to be up to date. I think after that I should be feeling very good and confident ab out things.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by Deejay14

Last night was the first night I have gone without benzodiazepines since my first day. Even when not at work my anxiety was unbearable, so this is a big step. Previous to this i was a once a week user for two months after coming off everyday usage for years. It's hat was a lot of work. I am hoping when this calms down to go back to once/twice a week with the benzos and the Ambien.

If I can just hang in there for three more weeks. That is my goal date to be in the know on doing the monthly stats and to be up to date. I think after that I should be feeling very good and confident ab out things.

You can do it!

[hvert]

You are on the right track!

There's a great set of free Office (including Excel) tutorials that the Goodwill in North Carolina puts out: https://edu.gcfglobal.org/en/

[Deejay14]

Very busy today but the statistics part is mostly not Greek to me any more. Right now no anxiety so reason for hope!

[Deejay14]

Stats are up to date, if only for a few days. Now I have to enter them 13 months worth into the computer. Will try to start that on Friday and finish on Monday. Still had a bad night last night, but I have a couple of those a month even if life is perfect!