[DoroMona]

It would be great to get feedback or sympathy or validation, but I'm mostly just writing this post to work out some of my frustration.

I'm a fairly senior member of an academic lab. I have two bosses who are NOT easy to get along with. I'm the most senior member after them. We have 2 new technicians, with one being a programmer like me. She was hired by my 2 bosses but they're so damn disorganized and busy and lazy that they can't manage her. She already did the little sub-project they wanted done and now for weeks or months comes in super late, plays on her phone, disappears for hours on end, etc. I don't entirely blame her for this since they're not giving her anything to do although she should probably try reading a textbook or pretend to read a paper or something.

I've worked really hard on this big software project. My boss mentioned something that had to be done for it, but we have a big grant due next week so I asked if we could postpone it until then. He said fine. That was yesterday. But today, I hear my 2 bosses (my main boss and the more junior boss) talking to the tech about how she'll do this work. I was upset but I shrugged it off, only then my junior boss called me over with this obnoxious joking tone, "Oh can you hear us? Your program isn't working and X is going to fix it."

This joke of hers annoys me more and more as I think about it. But when I came, I had to try to act calm while the issue was explained to me and they were saying that I'm just too busy and have plenty of other things to work on etc. I was super upset. They didn't even ask me, or inform me, in private, but right in front of the technician. I think it was mostly my junior boss's idea; she's mostly responsible for the new technician and I know she's stressed because she can't think of any projects for her. So I bet the big boss was showing her the effect in the data and talking about the little program that needs to be written and she just jumped at the idea of giving it to the technician so she doesn't have to be bothered, even though it's not her project. She was going on about how I'll supervise and how I'll talk to the tech a little everyday and how this will free up my time. But really she just wants to grab whatever she finds and throw it to the tech so she doesn't have to manage her. Also, it WON'T free any of my time. Instead of not having to deal with it until the grant is submitted, I'll have to start dealing with it now, explaining the project, the program, etc. The tech doesn't even program in C++ which is the language I used but in Python. Yeah, she's going to be really helpful!

I'm feeling really, really upset. I feel they should have first consulted me, at least. I feel like now the relationship between me and the tech (I've been really nice to her) is permanently poisoned. She could see I was pretty upset, I'm sure. Whatever excuse they give her to not do the project after all, it will be clear that I said no. So I either suck it up and let her have a piece of a project I've worked REALLY hard on for no reason and she gets to be on at least one paper (again for no reason), or I put my foot down and look like one of those poisonous coworkers who's super nice to your face but sabotages you behind your back. Also, I had an idea for a small project for her that was well-defined and publishable, but now I can't give it to her because it will look like I'm giving her some crap project to keep her away from my high impact stuff--and I actually care about this little project so I won't give it to her now when I'm worried she'll have that attitude.

Do I just suck it up and let her have a piece of my project? My bosses are horrible managers. They basically hired her without having any work for her and now they're going to pretend to be helping me "save time" when really they want me to babysit her and let her take credit for my work. The program they want expanded isn't the main code but something that gets run before the main code, but I still worked hard on it and it was stressful. I want to just tell them that I was willing to work with her before, but after this I just refuse. If they had at least talked to me in private, I would probably have reluctantly accepted. But the decision to give her a chunk of my work was made so casually, just on the spur of the moment, like "Oh, X can do that. Hey X, look!." I just can't get over the fact that they didn't talk to me first before having the discussion with her.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by DoroMona

It would be great to get feedback or sympathy or validation, but I'm mostly just writing this post to work out some of my frustration.

I'm a fairly senior member of an academic lab. I have two bosses who are NOT easy to get along with. I'm the most senior member after them. We have 2 new technicians, with one being a programmer like me. She was hired by my 2 bosses but they're so damn disorganized and busy and lazy that they can't manage her. She already did the little sub-project they wanted done and now for weeks or months comes in super late, plays on her phone, disappears for hours on end, etc. I don't entirely blame her for this since they're not giving her anything to do although she should probably try reading a textbook or pretend to read a paper or something.

I've worked really hard on this big software project. My boss mentioned something that had to be done for it, but we have a big grant due next week so I asked if we could postpone it until then. He said fine. That was yesterday. But today, I hear my 2 bosses (my main boss and the more junior boss) talking to the tech about how she'll do this work. I was upset but I shrugged it off, only then my junior boss called me over with this obnoxious joking tone, "Oh can you hear us? Your program isn't working and X is going to fix it."

This joke of hers annoys me more and more as I think about it. But when I came, I had to try to act calm while the issue was explained to me and they were saying that I'm just too busy and have plenty of other things to work on etc. I was super upset. They didn't even ask me, or inform me, in private, but right in front of the technician. I think it was mostly my junior boss's idea; she's mostly responsible for the new technician and I know she's stressed because she can't think of any projects for her. So I bet the big boss was showing her the effect in the data and talking about the little program that needs to be written and she just jumped at the idea of giving it to the technician so she doesn't have to be bothered, even though it's not her project. She was going on about how I'll supervise and how I'll talk to the tech a little everyday and how this will free up my time. But really she just wants to grab whatever she finds and throw it to the tech so she doesn't have to manage her. Also, it WON'T free any of my time. Instead of not having to deal with it until the grant is submitted, I'll have to start dealing with it now, explaining the project, the program, etc. The tech doesn't even program in C++ which is the language I used but in Python. Yeah, she's going to be really helpful!

I'm feeling really, really upset. I feel they should have first consulted me, at least. I feel like now the relationship between me and the tech (I've been really nice to her) is permanently poisoned. She could see I was pretty upset, I'm sure. Whatever excuse they give her to not do the project after all, it will be clear that I said no. So I either suck it up and let her have a piece of a project I've worked REALLY hard on for no reason and she gets to be on at least one paper (again for no reason), or I put my foot down and look like one of those poisonous coworkers who's super nice to your face but sabotages you behind your back. Also, I had an idea for a small project for her that was well-defined and publishable, but now I can't give it to her because it will look like I'm giving her some crap project to keep her away from my high impact stuff--and I actually care about this little project so I won't give it to her now when I'm worried she'll have that attitude.

Do I just suck it up and let her have a piece of my project? My bosses are horrible managers. They basically hired her without having any work for her and now they're going to pretend to be helping me "save time" when really they want me to babysit her and let her take credit for my work. The program they want expanded isn't the main code but something that gets run before the main code, but I still worked hard on it and it was stressful. I want to just tell them that I was willing to work with her before, but after this I just refuse. If they had at least talked to me in private, I would probably have reluctantly accepted. But the decision to give her a chunk of my work was made so casually, just on the spur of the moment, like "Oh, X can do that. Hey X, look!." I just can't get over the fact that they didn't talk to me first before having the discussion with her.

Okay, there are a lot of things going on here, and I can understand why you're so upset. But the big thing is that you said you didn't have extra time until next week after this grant is submitted. I don't think you have a whole lot of choice about letting her help on it, BUT, what I would say (and I am in an almost exact same situation except I'm not dealing with code but publishing materials for an academic lab) is:

Hi X, I know you want me to work with T on this project and have her work on this small portion of code. I have some concerns that I'd like to address with you. First, as I said to you originally I cannot devote any time to this project until the grant has been submitted. So I cannot walk T through this project or supervise her on it until after that. Submitting this grant successfully and getting these funds for the lab is far higher priority, in my understanding. Please correct me if I am incorrect in that.

Second, T is not trained to program in C++, which is what the code is programmed in. Therefore, it's going to take a significant amount of my time to train her in this project. It will not make completion of it faster, but slow it down. I am happy to work with her on it, if that is what you would like, but I want you to understand that it will take a lot of supervision on my part, it will add to my workload, and I will need to reprioritize some projects so that I have time to supervise her. Other projects will have to be pushed back so I have time to work with her on this versus adjusting the code myself.

Third, it would be helpful to me to be able to give you this input before my projects get reassigned to someone else so I can clarify these points and avoid further confusion. I want our work to be successful, and I would like to be able to communicate what I know about these projects to others.

("What I know about these projects" is code for you to be able to say "no, this person shouldn't work on it or no, I can't supervise X on it" but by presenting this way, you aren't asking for the right to overrule, but it gives you an opportunity to say those things.)

It sounds like they made a bad hire or that the junior boss doesn't want to be a manager and actually supervise/train her technicians. I am dealing with a similar problem in my lab. They are making error after error in hiring because they don't vet properly. They are so desparate to get anyone in quickly that they hire people even if they aren't the right fit. I'm dealing with it in this writer right now who in her first month is late to at least one meeting a week, misses at least one meeting a week, has missed all her deadlines, doesn't know how to manage her task list, doesn't prioritize her tasks even after being told daily what to do, can't stay on task, and works SUPER slow. Like things that take me 30 minutes take her (and I'm not joking this was actually timed) 7 hours. I don't know what we missed in hiring her. She did a few consulting projects before we brought her on and she was fine. Now she has an excuse for EVERYTHING.

I hope my suggestion helps you. You have to get them to include you without it seeming like you are resentful or unwilling.

Good luck!

Seesaw

[DoroMona]

Thank you for this long response. I was up all night obsessing about it. I'm at the stage where I just want to tell them--"Fine, she can have it, but from now on, I don't consider any project in any way mine. Which means I don't give a f*#& about any project and I'm done working nights and weekends and holidays for projects you randomly give to other people when all the hard work has been done. And I additionally don't give a f#*& about the grant, which after all is for the boss, so you can expect only 9-5 commitment from me and no creative input." Yes, of course you're right Seesaw--I can't say this or anything else out of anger. But I still am really unsure what to do. I will not teach her C++. My father, like you, also said that it's reasonable to refuse to train her and to basically say that if they want to give me a technician to supervise, they need to give me someone with skills I can use.

Yes, you're right Seesaw--they were desperate to hire someone. They didn't even want a computational person, they wanted a wetlab person. But they felt she communicated well and were like, "Oh whatever, we'll just give her the projects we don't want" for this one specific area. But they weren't honest about the number of projects "lying around." That's why I get thrown under the bus. Actually, it's more complicated, because I think they really care about me. The mini-boss saw I was upset and apologized in private and said they could find something else for the technician to work on, but the whole situation is as complicated as a Chinese drama about life in the palace. I don't want to look like a selfish jerk to my main boss. I don't want the technician to hate me. If I felt I could effectively supervise her I might not be so enraged, but I'm not even clear one what my boss wants and it's a new field for me. So I'll have to go to my boss constantly for guidance, and then pass it on to her, while simultaneously overcoming the python/c++ problem.

I will not do something out of anger... I will not do something out of anger... I will not do something out of anger... I will not do something out of anger... I will not do something out of anger... I will not do something out of anger... I will not do something out of anger... I will not do something out of anger...

DoroMona sounds like your workplace is a toxic environment due to those two senior bosses of yours. The best solution is to get a new job. I'm terrible at office politics. But that's what is going on here. The two schlubs in charge at your workplace are terrible bosses (which is also a hilarious comedy, which your situation is not).

General rule of thumb about workplace politics; you can't control ANYONE's perception of you or treatment of you no matter what you do. Doesn't matter if the new tech likes/dislikes you. Doesn't matter if your two idiot bosses like/dislike you. You can try to "manage" their behavior by playing their political game (but make sure they don't know you're doing this). Meanwhile, look for a healthier workplace to apply to.

[DoroMona]

Thank you everyone for your responses. It was a big help just feeling I was listened to.

Streetcar--yes, it can be toxic, but it's just a tremendously complicated situation at this point and I am absolutely trapped. There are situations where sometimes you really are just trapped, like for instance if you have visa issues and have to go back to your home country if you leave your job, or if you have some really lucrative product you've helped develop and if you leave you'll lose your rights to it. Neither is exactly my situation--well the latter is sort of on the right lines--but I just can't leave.... And the weird part is that I'm really good friends with my two bosses. That's why when they act like that, I just feel shocked and betrayed and bewildered.

The resolution to my whole crisis was positive. I spoke to a bunch of people and my brother surprisingly gave me some exceptionally good advice. He extracted from my rant three very professional points I could list--similar to what you also said, Seesaw--and basically told me to say no. I dwelled on it a little longer, and concluded that I HAD TO say no. I just couldn't stand going along with it. I sacrificed other job opportunities that offered in some cases superior stability and in other cases much better pay to remain in this job. I did so because of the message my bosses have always sent me, that I'm really a critical and valued part of the team and that the projects I work on are partially mine, at least insofar as my contributions being respected. So I just literally couldn't suck it up this time and let them establish some pattern. In my email I listed the three main points (wasn't consulted, tech doesn't have the skills, don't have the time to mentor) and said no. My junior boss was fine with it although because she's not a programmer I can tell that she doesn't quite understand the real issue with adding programmers to a software project prematurely. But I can deal with that problem later. According to her, the senior boss was actually "very happy" about my email. She said that in the past, several lead programmers got extremely angry but never said why or what they wanted, and that my senior boss was really glad I was willing to be clear and not force them to guess. Go figure....